Author: Joanna van der Hoeven

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Spring Cleaning for the Soul

Spring – it certainly has sprung here in the UK!  The tulips and daffodils are out, the sun is shining (at least where I live on the east coast) and the earth is warm to the touch.  The birds have changed their song to ones of sunlight and warmth, of nesting and mating, of the months ahead and the lengthening days.  The foxes are creating an almighty ruckus at night, and the lizards are coming out to bask in the sun.

It’s time for spring-cleaning in my home – really cleaning the house from top to bottom, doing the floors and dusting the blinds, washing the windows and cleaning every nook, cranny and crevice. It’s amazing how great the house feels after a good cleaning. Every autumn and every spring I do a Big Clean, getting ready for the months ahead.  I feel I am overdue for my spring cleaning.

The chores of housework can seem daunting to some, boring or tedious to others.  To me they are a delight.  Really, I hear you say? Really?

Yeup.

I used to hate housework as a child – we had our daily chores of trying (and in my case failing) to keep our rooms and closets in order. We also had our chores every Saturday when my Mom got the house clean – I cleaned the bathroom, my sister dusted the living room and my parent’s room, my brother tidied the boot rack (to this day, I believe he got off too easily…) while my Mom did laundry and cleaned the kitchen. Dad was usually outside doing gardening in the summer or gone to work in the winter. Every Saturday morning, I dreaded the drudgery of chores when I’d rather be watching cartoons, reading or playing outside.

As such, my room and closet were always a mess, and I may not have done as good a job as I could have in the bathroom.  It’s funny how much a person can change though. I hate living in a messy place these days. I find that it depresses me, makes me sluggish and feeling just plain lazy.  When the house is clean, the dishes are done and the floors swept there is a different energy in the house. It smells clean. It feels clean. The energy seems to move easier, flowing with ease where it might otherwise become stuck on a stack on dirty plates, or picking up bits of cat fur from the “dustbunnies” on the floor (oh Spring, for anyone with a pet – you know what I mean in the shedding season!).

Doing the work is just as rewarding as having the clean house at the end. It can be enjoyable.  I can stop thinking about all my other jobs that are waiting – the essay due, the proofs of the next book, getting my dance class organised, arranging diary dates, thinking about upcoming workshops, retreats and speaking engagements.  I can simply focus on the task and let my mind rest while my body works. It’s marvellous.

Really taking time and care can also help you to get back in touch with your home.  Really picking up each item you dust, looking at it, feeling the surface that it sits on.  Feeling the dishes and warm water on your hands in the sink- washing dishes is lovely in the winter, when my hands are so often cold. It’s so nice to sink them into warm water and let them do their work.

I love housework. I love laundry. I love dishes. I love cleaning the toilet. I love dusting. I never, ever thought I would say that.

Now, I must turn that way of thinking towards all the chores – I mean delights, waiting in my garden!

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Welcome, and thank you!

I would just like to take this opportunity to welcome all the new followers to this blog, and to thank all the readers – it really is very enjoyable writing, and hearing from you!  I have learned so much in the authorship of this blog, and I am grateful for the opportunity to share it with you. Long may it continue. x

Awen blessings!

Jo

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Binge Drinking in the LARP Community – All in good fun?

Binge-drinking is a real problem in Live Action Role-Play culture (LARP).  It reasons are many and varied, but in this blog post I will try to understand why it is such an issue, and ask what we can do about it to ensure that LARP systems retain the integrity and inspiration that so many hard-working people have put the hours in to make it a great hobby.

In my fifteen years of LARPing, I have seen a lot of things.  I have seen brilliant behaviour and deplorable behaviour.  I have been utterly inspired by the creativity of the human race, and utterly despairing of their attitudes towards others.  Within any large public gathering, there is bound to be a wide variety of people – some lovely,  some not so much.  It is unavoidable.  There are certain rules about behaviour, and the social norms that must be adhered to at all times.  Illegal drugs are still illegal, for instance.  However, the issue of alcohol rears its ugly head each and every time. Alcohol seems to receive a special leniency at LARP events, I feel, much as it does on Friday and Saturday nights in any city.

I’m no saint.  I have gotten drunk at LARP events myself.  It’s really, really easy to get drunk.

Again, the reasons are legion, but I’d like to point out one that seems to me to be the most common.  We are gathered together, most of us strangers, from all over the country, and even from all over the world.  Different backgrounds mean for sometimes awkward first encounters. Not everyone is socially adept when meeting new people.  This can be at LARP events, or in bars, pubs and clubs on the High Street – the initial meeting of another soul can be frightening.  Many, many people think that alcohol can help alleviate the awkwardness of that social interaction – they believe that it makes them more open, more talkative, more genial than they would otherwise be. This is one of the biggest myths about alcohol – it doesn’t make you do anything you wouldn’t otherwise do.  It can impair your motor skills to the point of unconsciousness, but it can’t make you do something you don’t want to do. Kate Fox wrote a very interesting article for the BBC that really struck a chord with me. In it, she stated:

“In high doses, alcohol impairs our reaction times, muscle control, co-ordination, short-term memory, perceptual field, cognitive abilities and ability to speak clearly. But it does not cause us selectively to break specific social rules. It does not cause us to say, “Oi, what you lookin’ at?” and start punching each other. Nor does it cause us to say, “Hey babe, fancy a shag?” and start groping each other.” Viewpoint: Is the Alcohol Message All Wrong? BBC website. 

I can only speak for British LARP events, as I have not been to any in other countries. But I have noticed that the “typically” reserved British character can rely heavily on alcohol at these events in order to cope socially. It’s not unusual to see any character walking around the field with a bottle of booze in their hands – and we’re not talking a normal bottle of beer. We’re talking a wine bottle, or   bottle of mead that they are swigging from. I’ve been there. I’ve done it. I’ve seen it time and again.  It’s not acceptable to walk down the street in this manner is this country, but acceptable here at an event.  It’s a private event, so some of the social norms don’t apply.

This reliance on alcohol for these social situations is a complete fabrication, however. You don’t need it – you just think you do. It’s a psychological matter, and it’s a complete fabrication, as Ms Fox states.

“The British and other ambivalent drinking cultures believe that alcohol is a disinhibitor, and specifically that it makes people amorous or aggressive, so when in these experiments we are given what we think are alcoholic drinks – but are in fact non-alcoholic “placebos” – we shed our inhibitions.

We become more outspoken, more physically demonstrative, more flirtatious, and, given enough provocation, some (young males in particular) become aggressive. Quite specifically, those who most strongly believe that alcohol causes aggression are the most likely to become aggressive when they think that they have consumed alcohol.

Our beliefs about the effects of alcohol act as self-fulfilling prophecies – if you firmly believe and expect that booze will make you aggressive, then it will do exactly that. In fact, you will be able to get roaring drunk on a non-alcoholic placebo.”

On the Friday night of most LARP events is when the binge drinking it at its worst.  People know they don’t have to drive home the next day (most would still be over the limit) and so they drink recklessly.  It’s often hard to know just how much you have consumed, and just what you have consumed while sitting around a fire at night when three different bottles are being passed around.  In the last ten years I have been quite careful about what I drink at these events, and have felt stigmatised at times by refusing the bottle.  There is a lot of social pressure as well to “fit in”.

For first-timers I am especially afraid.  I have known many, and have kept an eye (and both eyes) out for them when they seem to have reached their limit and beyond.  All manner of things can happen, and I’ve heard horror stories from men and women at these events – such as attempted rape.  I have helped a stranger wandering lost around the tents, to his own tent when he was so blind drunk he was defying gravity – if he fell he would have missed the ground.  I also had to deal with the scary situation of him thinking that by helping him I wanted to have sex with him.  Thankfully his motor skills were so impaired that it was easy to dodge that bullet, but it doesn’t make it acceptable in any shape or form.  I have seen women throwing up in toilets, in all manner and stages of dress wandering about and falling over.  I do what I can to help people in that state, but there are so many that it becomes an epidemic, a vast tide that I can do nothing about, especially on a Friday night. Friday night is usually the first night of an event, the first time that you may see old friends since the year before or the previous event.  It is usually a time of celebration. It always, in my experience, ends in a drunken mess. Retiring to your tent early is the only option of avoiding it, which if you’ve paid for the event doesn’t seem right.

I think more awareness of the dangers that binge drinking contain should be made at these events. Some events are adult only – over 18s. Others allow families. I have seen all manner of drunkenness at both – from the eighteen year old who’s first time it is to roleplay (and first time to get drunk), to the children dodging the weaving drunken man stumbling from the tavern.   I think that tighter controls should be placed – at certain events there are very strict regulations regarding illegal drugs, sex offences and other crimes, but drunkenness is quite acceptable.  I just don’t understand it.

People can get very seriously hurt at these events through binge drinking.  It is everyone’s personal responsibility to watch how much they drink, but equally it is everyone’s responsibility to ensure that every person is treated with respect and has a good time. We are all paying customers, after all.  I pay for the event and I don’t want to feel pressured to drink, or fear for my safety.  I don’t want to have to care for people who are in such a state and yet I cannot refuse to help them – they are in need.  I fear for women who could easily become targets for sexual predators. I fear for the message we send to children at these events.  I fear for men who feel pressured to drink in order to keep up with their peers.

How can we raise this issue within the LARP community? How can we make it better for all involved?  How can we bring awareness of this problem to event organisers and to customers alike? How can we be taken seriously when it is only “all in good fun”?

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Friday Foodies – Vegan Cream of Cauliflower Soup

This recipe has my little cousins, Aurora and Cassiopeia’s approval! From Blender Girl’s site.

Vegan Cream Of Cauliflower Soup

Creamy of Cauliflower Soup – My Most Requested Recipe

  • 2 tablespoons olive oil
  • 2 teaspoons chopped garlic (about 2 cloves), plus more to taste
  • 2 cups (200g) chopped leeks (white parts only, from 2 or 3 leeks)
  • Celtic sea salt
  • 1 head cauliflower, chopped
  • 7 cups (1.65l) vegetable broth (I use Massel)
  • 1/4 cup (35g) raw unsalted cashews or 1/4 cup (35g) blanched slivered raw almonds, soaked
  • 3 tablespoons chopped chives or a grating of nutmeg (optional; choose one, not both), to garnish
  1. In a large saucepan, heat the oil over medium heat and sauté the garlic, leeks, and 1/4 teaspoon of salt for about 3 minutes, until the vegetables are soft.
  2. Add the cauliflower and sauté for another minute.
  3. Add the vegetable broth, increase the heat to high, and bring just to a boil. Reduce the heat to medium and simmer for about 30 minutes, until the cauliflower is com- pletely tender. Stir the mix periodically and mash the cauliflower with a wooden spoon.
  4. Remove the saucepan from the heat and allow the soup to cool slightly; stir in the nuts.
  5. Pour the soup into your blender (I use a Vitamix) in batches and puree on high for 1 to 2 minutes, until smooth and creamy.
  6. Return the soup to the saucepan and warm it over low heat. Stir in salt to taste.
  7. To serve, ladle the soup into bowls and garnish with either chopped chives or grated nutmeg.

Serves 6 as a starter, 4 as a main.

Tips!

What Is A Grain Ball?

I like to supplement a bowl of blended soup with a scoop of cooked grain (day-old is best, as it sticks together). I prefer the protein-rich grains—quinoa, amaranth, and millet (they’re alkaline, too). But use any grains you like—brown rice, buckwheat, or (if you’re not gluten-free) pearl barley. Try cooking grains in vegetable broth or coconut milk, and/or adding some ginger, garlic, sea vegetables, herbs, and spices for an added boost of flavour.

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Reblog: Welcoming the Light at the Spring Equinox

This is a reblog from my Druid Heart, at SageWoman’s channel on http://www.witchesandpagans.com:

The sun rises ever earlier, the days becoming longer. Soon the balance will tip, when the night gives way to the lengthening days. The spring equinox falls on March 20th this year, and after a very wet winter I am very much looking forward to it.

Watching the sun rise and set every day, honouring it with a short prayer and ritual gesture, I can attune myself to the cycles of the sun, of growing life and nourishing decay.  I honour the cycles of the moon, with ritual and spontaneous prayer upon seeing Her face.  Feeling these rhythms deep in my blood and bones, I also feel the shift as the equinox approaches. Similar to the autumn equinox,  I feel like we are on the edge of a knife, ready to be tipped over into a new cycle.

Unlike the autumn equinox, where all seems hushed, teetering on the precipice with dignity and solemnity, the spring equinox is filled with the songs of birds urging us to simply open our wings and fly into the great unknown.  Yet we must take that reaching towards the light as seriously as we take the descent into darkness, otherwise we could get burned. We must protect what we sow in the spring for it to reach fruition in the autumn…

To continue reading, please click HERE to see the full post. x

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Life skills and Druid values

A great post by Nimue on personal value within community and society in general…

Nimue Brown's avatarDruid Life

There are a lot of things I’m good at. I can bake and brew, I’m good with textiles and at all manner of make do and mend techniques. I can tell different kinds of wood apart, even from bits lying on the ground and I know how to use them; what can be burned and what cannot, and how to make a fire. I can make a blanket, mend a sock, cook a meal from scratch over an open fire, I have a wealth of stories and songs to keep the people around me amused, and a grasp of first aid. I am good at problem solving and at reasoning things out. During most of human history, this skills base would have stood me in really good stead, making me a valuable part of any community. Not so now.

Our ideas about what is a useful and valuable contribution have…

View original post 509 more words

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Compassion for Pirates

Sometimes in this life there are people who challenge us.  It is often difficult to maintain an awareness of our reactions when we are being challenged by another, or when someone upsets us, frustrates or annoys us.  These people can often be our greatest teachers, however, helping us to learn the ways of compassion.

Compassion is not the same as blind acceptance and becoming a sort of door mat for this kind of behaviour. It is not about loving people unconditionally.  There is a social contract involved, based on circumstance, culture and society.  Compassion is trying to understand the other person before falling into a reactionary role.  It is trying to see the bigger picture, in order to act appropriately.  We can stand up for ourselves, for what we believe is right. We can also try to understand those who challenge our views, who have hurt us in the past, who continue to frustrate or upset us in the present moment.

It might not even be that person’s fault that they upset you so.  Vietnemese monk, Thich Nhat Hanh wrote in his book, Interbeing on how if he had grown up on the coast of Siam, there is every possibility that he could have become a pirate like so many other men that plague the waters and make it dangerous for anyone living there.  Often it is due to matters out of anyone’s control – place of birth and circumstances of living that no one can have any sort of say in.

That’s not to say that people can’t change.  It is up to each and every individual to find the path that leads to the least amount of suffering in the world.  We all know that suffering exists – what we should aim to do is to alleviate that suffering where we can, both within our own hearts and in the hearts of others.

We cannot change other people – they have to want to change themselves. We can only lead by example, with our hearts open to the joys of life, not shutting down despite how much we have been hurt. Many may say that this way of living simply invites more hurt into your lives, but I would disagree.  By closing yourself down to love, you are doing yourself a disservice, and not having the right amount of compassion for your own self.  We do not allow people to hurt us – if they do, we walk away to a safe distance, try to understand the reasons why they have behaved in the way that they did, and perhaps try to alleviate the suffering on both sides through compassionate dialogue. Where this isn’t appropriate or where it just isn’t possible, perhaps because we have been hurt too much, we can simply bow and walk away, wishing peace for them and for our own hearts to still open to the possibility of love from a myriad of sources that exist in the world.

There are people in my life that I simply do not get on with.  It is sometimes a personality clash, or they have done/said something that I do not agree with – the circumstances vary.  When we have been mistreated, it is often hard to have compassion for the person who has done you wrong.  Your mind can get so caught up in what this person has done to you that everything they do annoys you.  The way they walk, the way they talk – the way they may apparently blunder through life.  When I find myself faced with such thoughts, it offers me the opportunity to see my own reactions and emotions, to understand how my mind works a little better. This is a true gift.

Yes, this person behaved inappropriately towards me in the past. But why should I let them continue to hurt me, to annoy me, to frustrate me? This is all within my control to end whenever I feel like it.  I don’t have to attach to the past hurt – I can let that go and get on with my life.  When I find myself glaring, or sneering on the inside, when I am disturbed on any level by this other person, I stop, pay attention what is happening in my mind, and smile. I can see the reactions for what they are. They are not actions – they are reactions.  I am acting mindlessly upon something that has already happened, and I am acting again and again in a repetitive state that does not help to alleviate anyone’s suffering. We have the opportunity to really act only once in any given situation, at the moment it happens. After that, we are acting upon the memory of the situation.

I am grateful for the opportunities I am given to see how my mind works, how my emotions can override the reality of a situation.  We are emotional beings, passionate creatures.  We can live a passionate life without being ruled by mindless behaviour. When it becomes too much, we can walk away, taking time to breathe, to try to understand ourselves and the other, to see the reality of the situation. Where there is no way forward, where is there is only hurt or danger we walk away with open hearts. Where there is a chance for reconciliation and healing then we take that with gratitude.

Living with compassion is not an easy thing – it takes dedication to truly want to understand your self, and others around you.  Yet when you do, the world opens up like a beautiful lotus flower, the many petals of existence showering you with beauty.

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Friday Foodies – Vegetable Biriyani

Vegetable vegan biriyani with carrot salad

Vegetable vegan biriyani with carrot salad

Cooking time

Prep: 30 mins Cook: 40 mins

Skill level –Easy

Servings –Serves 8

A meat and dairy-free, Indian-inspired basmati rice dish with cauliflower, French beans, peas, potatoes, homemade curry paste and carrot salad

Ingredients

  • 400g basmati rice
  • pinch saffron threads (optional)
  • 2 tbsp vegetable oil
  • 1 cauliflower, cut into florets
  • 2 potatoes, cut into chunks
  • 100g red lentils
  • 100g French beans, trimmed and cut in half
  • handful curry leaves
  • 2 handfuls frozen peas
  • small bunch coriander
  • 50g roasted cashew nuts, roughly chopped
  • poppadoms and naan bread, to serve

For the paste

  • 1 large onion, roughly chopped
  • large piece ginger, roughly chopped
  • 5 garlic cloves
  • 2 tsp curry powder
  • 1 tsp ground cumin
  • 2 tbsp vegetable oil
  • 1 small green chilli

For the carrot salad

  • 4 carrots
  • pinch of golden caster sugar
  • squeeze lemon juice
  • handful cashew nuts, roughly chopped
  • handful coriander leaves, roughly chopped
  • thumb-sized piece ginger, shredded into matchsticks
  • 1 tsp cumin seed, toasted

Method

  1. Soak the rice for 30 mins, then rinse in several changes of water until it runs clear. Cover with about 1 cm water, add the saffron (if using), cover the pan, bring to the boil, stir once, then turn off the heat. Leave for 10 mins, covered, then stir again and leave to stand, covered.
  2. To make the paste, blitz all the ingredients together in a food processor. Heat the oil in a saucepan. Tip in the paste, then add the cauliflower and potatoes. Cook in the paste to colour, then add the lentils and green beans, and cover with about 400ml water. Add the curry leaves, season with salt, cover with a lid and simmer for 20 mins until the lentils and vegetables are tender Add the peas for the last 2 mins to defrost. Stir the rice through the curry until completely mixed and hot, then spoon onto a platter and scatter with coriander and cashews.
  3. For the carrot salad, use a peeler to shave the carrots into ribbons. Sprinkle with the sugar and dress with the lemon juice, then toss with the other ingredients. Serve the biryani on a large platter for everyone to help themselves, with the carrot salad on the side, poppadoms for any vegans and naan bread for the vegetarians.
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Everyday Spirituality

How can we incorporate more spirituality into our everyday lives? By truly living our religion, our spirituality, our calling.

A religion or spirituality cannot be read about, or simply thought about – it must be experienced. Like life, it is in the doing that counts.  Yes, we must think – carefully and deeply, about what we do as human beings. We must also act upon that thinking with full awareness, otherwise the opportunity to really live slips us by.

There are so many ways we can bring more awareness and more spirituality into our daily routines.  For instance, a prayer upon awakening is a brilliant way to start the day. Whether you believe in the gods, or spirits of place, the ancestors or nature itself or all of the above is a matter for your own path.  But coming to an awareness of them physically, emotionally – through living your meditations can make all the difference.  Saying a prayer, either aloud or in your head first thing in the morning can put you in the right frame of mind to be mindfully spiritual for the rest of the day.  You can pray in all kinds of ways – prayers of thanks for a new day, prayers of peace and love, prayers of love for those in need.  It matters not what type of prayer; what matters most is that it is done, in a way that best suits you to get into a spiritual frame of mind.

When we then get up and perform our ablutions, we are already aware of the sanctity of life.  We can say a prayer of thanks to the goddess of the waters, the local water source, to the oceans of the world as we run the tap to wash our face.  We create an awareness of the sanctity of water.

When we make our breakfast, or pour a cup of tea, we give thanks to gods, the spirits, to the earth for her abundance.  We take time to acknowledge where our food and drink comes from, and in that acknowledgement continue in a sacred manner.  We are establishing a strong relationship with the world around us by doing so.  A prayer that I like to use before I eat is simple:

“I give my thanks for the food I am about to eat. To the spirits of land, sea and sky, know that you are honoured”. 

I not only say the words, but honour the lands that the food and drink came from, the blessings of sunshine and rain, the people who worked to bring it food to my table.  Seeing the bigger picture allows me to truly be grateful for all that I have.

I can say a prayer or chant a charm when I am about to drive my car somewhere. Equally, I can say a prayer of thanks for hearing the blackbird’s song of Spring, or upon seeing the sunshine after months of rain.  Seeing the moon, or a particular constellation in the sky evokes spontaneous prayers within me, said either aloud or in my mind.  Prayers to the rising and setting sun, to the rising and setting moon are said, as well as prayers before bed. Even getting into the bathtub can become spiritual, with an honouring of clean, hot water, or a pentagram or symbol of awen drawn on the water’s surface to acknowledge the sacredness. Gardening, working with others, before or after meditation – these are all good times for a quick prayer as well.

Certain times of day might be better for those who like a stricter routine. A set time in the morning, noon, afternoon and evening might be more suitable for those who can follow a tighter regime. It is all about personal choice.

It is not only prayer, but short rituals we can use – a bow to the sun or moon, the lighting of a candle upon awakening, offering of incense or food at the end of each day.  Taking the time is what is most important – taking the time to connect with the spiritual world around you. We are never alone; we cannot be separate. We all live together on this planet side by side. Seeing this connection is pure awen.

Create songs for the sunrise, or write new chants for the full moon.  Sing something improvisational when you see the first blackthorn in flower, or raise your arms to honour the sun dog’s myriad colours in the sky.  The secular world may try to make us feel silly about doing so – but just try it. You may just find that your soul opens in response.

For more ideas on how to incorporate spirituality and devotion in your everyday life, I am holding a retreat weekend in the sacred Chalice Well Gardens in Glastonbury from 11 – 13 April.  This weekend, entitled The Little Pagan Monastery, will be a weekend filled with prayer, devotion and ritual, visits to sacred sites, as well as discussion, meditation, and personal time to incorporate ideas into your life.  For more information, see the Retreat Weekends on this site.