When it’s raining sideways outside, I go to where I want to be, which is back in a little valley in Quebec.
But it’s raining.
It’s cold, and my arthritis is acting up.
It’s going to be dark soon, and it’s nice and warm in here.
My feet, shins, hands and back hurt. The air is cold on my face. I currently hate the world, because it’s full of idiots who aren’t abiding by the guidelines to keep this pandemic at bay. I hate our government. I hate not seeing my family. I am sad and angry and lonely and fed up and in pain.
The beech wood has mostly passed me by. I finally look up, and see the light coming through the guardian oaks that border the wood. The ground is hard, the mud has frozen. In that pale, low light, on the edge of the heath, I take a deep breath, filling my lungs with winter.
Breathing in Skadhi.
I am taken back in my mind to hours spent in the forests of my home, on my skis, with no one around me. Just me and the chickadees and the blue jays, the snow and the snow shadows. And here I am, across the ocean, with just me and the crows, the deer and the long shadows. I remember.
My heart awakens to winter. Its song fills my soul. I step outside of my pain, and embrace being alone. I am sovereign and I am free. I am out in the wilderness of the heath, with the deer herds and the hawks, the falcons and the foxes. I am with them, I am of them. I am winter. I am in the utangarth, beyond the innangarth. And it is good. It reminds me who I am.
I am strong, I am resilient. I know what I want. I have made it, I have made a life and a home. I am happy, I am doing what I want in life, what I was meant to do with the skills I have. I am resourceful and I am lucky. I am grateful.
Skadhi walks beside me. She has been there my whole life. She doesn’t guide me, she inspires me. I walk my own path through the snow drifts, I glide where I can, I toil where it’s necessary. I hear her song in the north-easterly winds that blow against the house, bringing sleet and snow. I am hearing her speak her mind, and I do the same. Skadhi took on the might of Asgard. I can take on the might of Midgard. For I know who I am.
I get home, the darkness is all around me. The winter night draws in, the frosty ground crunching under my feet. I look up at the stars and find the North Star, my guiding light in the inky blackness. I set my bearings, to steer my life on the course that I desire. I then go inside, and have a cup of coffee. My cheeks are flushed, and the house is warm. I feel better. And I know why.
I listened to Skadhi’s message.
New video is now up on my YouTube channel, about the Winter Solstice, as part of my Druid Festival Series. I hope you like it!
Here’s how I celebrate the Heathen tradition of Mothers’ Night 🙂
The rut is now over, and the heath is quiet. The deer are, of course, still there, but the stags are no longer calling in the twilight hours. The mists have crept in, the air is chill, and the days are short. And yet, there is beauty all around.
Here’s a video describing a Winternights blot, a heathen ritual to welcome in winter. I honour my Anglo Saxon and Scandinavian ancestry at this time of year, as well as the growing darkness and the cold north winds.
Here’s my second attempt at painting yesterday, using all natural Earth Paints (I’m not sponsored, I just like them!). This time I used the Bob Ross technique, of wet on wet. This scene is inspired by childhood memories of cross-country skiing every Sunday in the winter, through the woods to the golf course. The mountain in the background is similar to the one you can see from the end of the trail. I wanted to try a very simple colour palette as well. It was fun, seeing it happen on the canvas, emerging with the awen!
This morning my Facebook feed was filled with lots of lovely people wishing everyone a happy winter solstice. So nice! And yet, there were just as many people correcting them, stating the the actual astronomical time is tomorrow, etc, etc. Let’s all just relax a little bit, and celebrate whenever we can, wherever we can, and however we can without the need to tell people that they’re doing it wrong.
So happy Winter Solstice for today, tomorrow and Monday!
Here’s my new video for the Witchy Ways YouTube series – hope you like it!