Binge Drinking in the LARP Community – All in good fun?

Binge-drinking is a real problem in Live Action Role-Play culture (LARP).  It reasons are many and varied, but in this blog post I will try to understand why it is such an issue, and ask what we can do about it to ensure that LARP systems retain the integrity and inspiration that so many hard-working people have put the hours in to make it a great hobby.

In my fifteen years of LARPing, I have seen a lot of things.  I have seen brilliant behaviour and deplorable behaviour.  I have been utterly inspired by the creativity of the human race, and utterly despairing of their attitudes towards others.  Within any large public gathering, there is bound to be a wide variety of people – some lovely,  some not so much.  It is unavoidable.  There are certain rules about behaviour, and the social norms that must be adhered to at all times.  Illegal drugs are still illegal, for instance.  However, the issue of alcohol rears its ugly head each and every time. Alcohol seems to receive a special leniency at LARP events, I feel, much as it does on Friday and Saturday nights in any city.

I’m no saint.  I have gotten drunk at LARP events myself.  It’s really, really easy to get drunk.

Again, the reasons are legion, but I’d like to point out one that seems to me to be the most common.  We are gathered together, most of us strangers, from all over the country, and even from all over the world.  Different backgrounds mean for sometimes awkward first encounters. Not everyone is socially adept when meeting new people.  This can be at LARP events, or in bars, pubs and clubs on the High Street – the initial meeting of another soul can be frightening.  Many, many people think that alcohol can help alleviate the awkwardness of that social interaction – they believe that it makes them more open, more talkative, more genial than they would otherwise be. This is one of the biggest myths about alcohol – it doesn’t make you do anything you wouldn’t otherwise do.  It can impair your motor skills to the point of unconsciousness, but it can’t make you do something you don’t want to do. Kate Fox wrote a very interesting article for the BBC that really struck a chord with me. In it, she stated:

“In high doses, alcohol impairs our reaction times, muscle control, co-ordination, short-term memory, perceptual field, cognitive abilities and ability to speak clearly. But it does not cause us selectively to break specific social rules. It does not cause us to say, “Oi, what you lookin’ at?” and start punching each other. Nor does it cause us to say, “Hey babe, fancy a shag?” and start groping each other.” Viewpoint: Is the Alcohol Message All Wrong? BBC website

I can only speak for British LARP events, as I have not been to any in other countries. But I have noticed that the “typically” reserved British character can rely heavily on alcohol at these events in order to cope socially. It’s not unusual to see any character walking around the field with a bottle of booze in their hands – and we’re not talking a normal bottle of beer. We’re talking a wine bottle, or   bottle of mead that they are swigging from. I’ve been there. I’ve done it. I’ve seen it time and again.  It’s not acceptable to walk down the street in this manner is this country, but acceptable here at an event.  It’s a private event, so some of the social norms don’t apply.

This reliance on alcohol for these social situations is a complete fabrication, however. You don’t need it – you just think you do. It’s a psychological matter, and it’s a complete fabrication, as Ms Fox states.

“The British and other ambivalent drinking cultures believe that alcohol is a disinhibitor, and specifically that it makes people amorous or aggressive, so when in these experiments we are given what we think are alcoholic drinks – but are in fact non-alcoholic “placebos” – we shed our inhibitions.

We become more outspoken, more physically demonstrative, more flirtatious, and, given enough provocation, some (young males in particular) become aggressive. Quite specifically, those who most strongly believe that alcohol causes aggression are the most likely to become aggressive when they think that they have consumed alcohol.

Our beliefs about the effects of alcohol act as self-fulfilling prophecies – if you firmly believe and expect that booze will make you aggressive, then it will do exactly that. In fact, you will be able to get roaring drunk on a non-alcoholic placebo.”

On the Friday night of most LARP events is when the binge drinking it at its worst.  People know they don’t have to drive home the next day (most would still be over the limit) and so they drink recklessly.  It’s often hard to know just how much you have consumed, and just what you have consumed while sitting around a fire at night when three different bottles are being passed around.  In the last ten years I have been quite careful about what I drink at these events, and have felt stigmatised at times by refusing the bottle.  There is a lot of social pressure as well to “fit in”.

For first-timers I am especially afraid.  I have known many, and have kept an eye (and both eyes) out for them when they seem to have reached their limit and beyond.  All manner of things can happen, and I’ve heard horror stories from men and women at these events – such as attempted rape.  I have helped a stranger wandering lost around the tents, to his own tent when he was so blind drunk he was defying gravity – if he fell he would have missed the ground.  I also had to deal with the scary situation of him thinking that by helping him I wanted to have sex with him.  Thankfully his motor skills were so impaired that it was easy to dodge that bullet, but it doesn’t make it acceptable in any shape or form.  I have seen women throwing up in toilets, in all manner and stages of dress wandering about and falling over.  I do what I can to help people in that state, but there are so many that it becomes an epidemic, a vast tide that I can do nothing about, especially on a Friday night. Friday night is usually the first night of an event, the first time that you may see old friends since the year before or the previous event.  It is usually a time of celebration. It always, in my experience, ends in a drunken mess. Retiring to your tent early is the only option of avoiding it, which if you’ve paid for the event doesn’t seem right.

I think more awareness of the dangers that binge drinking contain should be made at these events. Some events are adult only – over 18s. Others allow families. I have seen all manner of drunkenness at both – from the eighteen year old who’s first time it is to roleplay (and first time to get drunk), to the children dodging the weaving drunken man stumbling from the tavern.   I think that tighter controls should be placed – at certain events there are very strict regulations regarding illegal drugs, sex offences and other crimes, but drunkenness is quite acceptable.  I just don’t understand it.

People can get very seriously hurt at these events through binge drinking.  It is everyone’s personal responsibility to watch how much they drink, but equally it is everyone’s responsibility to ensure that every person is treated with respect and has a good time. We are all paying customers, after all.  I pay for the event and I don’t want to feel pressured to drink, or fear for my safety.  I don’t want to have to care for people who are in such a state and yet I cannot refuse to help them – they are in need.  I fear for women who could easily become targets for sexual predators. I fear for the message we send to children at these events.  I fear for men who feel pressured to drink in order to keep up with their peers.

How can we raise this issue within the LARP community? How can we make it better for all involved?  How can we bring awareness of this problem to event organisers and to customers alike? How can we be taken seriously when it is only “all in good fun”?

Desperately seeking Druid: The over-sexualised images in D&D fantasy games

The first thing that usually happens when I comment on the sexist artwork and portrayal of women in fantasy roleplaying games is “Oh, you know that’s just how it is” – it is this complicitness in the game that I find so terribly frustrating – and also a little frightening. Whether you are being subject to catcalls or wolf whistles, sexual remarks and proposals in “real life”, in a field of live-action roleplayers, or in a game, can we not change the culture into one where all genders are treated with honour and respect?

This is a blog post from my channel over at SageWoman, where I look at the subject in the form of the artwork that portrays female characters in the game.

Living with Right Speech

From Lammas, the first harvest, to the Spring Equinox, in my spirituality I focus on a specific aspect of the Buddhist Eightfold path – Right Speech.  For every one of the eight pagan festivals, I have corresponded a part of the Eightfold path, finding a great blending of the two traditions together (see my book, Zen Druidry, for more details  To me, at this time of year when the Celtic peoples gathered together to celebrate the harvest, participate in games and competitions, wedding ceremonies and such, considering how to converse and behave appropriately was paramount in order for the tribe to thrive and meet other tribes without violence or bloodshed.  I see this paralleled in the Eastern concept of Right Speech.

So, what do we mean when we speak of Right Speech?  The concept of right speech involves four elements; abstaining from false speech, abstaining from slanderous speech, abstaining from harsh speech and abstaining from idle chatter.  For the Buddhist, this shows the sacredness of speech, and gives us a framework within which we can work towards more compassionate and thoughtful speech.

Here is a quote taken from The Secular Buddhist:

“The Buddha divides right speech into four components: abstaining from false speech, abstaining from slanderous speech, abstaining from harsh speech, and abstaining from idle chatter. Because the effects of speech are not as immediately evident as those of bodily action, its importance and potential is easily overlooked. But a little reflection will show that speech and its offshoot, the written word, can have enormous consequences for good or for harm. In fact, whereas for beings such as animals who live at the preverbal level physical action is of dominant concern, for humans immersed in verbal communication speech gains the ascendency. Speech can break lives, create enemies, and start wars, or it can give wisdom, heal divisions, and create peace. This has always been so, yet in the modern age the positive and negative potentials of speech have been vastly multiplied by the tremendous increase in the means, speed, and range of communications. The capacity for verbal expression, oral and written, has often been regarded as the distinguishing mark of the human species. From this we can appreciate the need to make this capacity the means to human excellence rather than, as too often has been the case, the sign of human degradation.”

Living in such a verbal society, we must take extra special care of our words, both verbal and written.  It is an increasingly difficult thing to do, in my opinion, when we are living “virtual lives” more and more with the internet.  We have an “online presence” as much as our real physical presence.  It is up to the individual how closely the two are related.

What we say, both physically in face to face encounters, as well as in a virtual community or forum may have varying degrees of impact, dependent upon who is actually listening.  The fact of the matter remains – whether it is virtual or physical, there is an impact.  For someone to be cruel to another person online could have devastating consequences (as we have seen recently with the suicide of two teenagers bullied on a social media forum).  A person may be attacked by an online community, and feel no repercussions whatsoever.  In a face to face situation, the reverse might happen.  One thing remains – we are personally responsible for our own behaviour, for we cannot control the behaviour of others. We can lead by example, but underlying fundamental control of others is beyond our grasp.

I have been verbally attacked on social media forums, bullied and trolled.  As yet, it still does not get any easier with time.  I stand by the view that the internet is as much a tool for sensitive souls as it is abused by being a playground for trolls.  I do not think that sensitive souls should have to “toughen up” in order to be online or to deal with face to face encounters. I think that people should be responsible and culpable for their actions, whether virtual or real, and take others thoughts and feelings into consideration.

As a recent example, a friend of mine told me that there is now a new term in a couple of UK LRP (LARP) communities/systems which is replacing a previous term.  He finds this fascinating, as he loves studying etymology.  It is indeed food for thought!  The previous term within the community was “special snowflake”, something that people used to deride another person on the basis that snowflake in question thought of themselves as being unique, and therefore life should go according to their own terms on this basis.  The new term that has cropped up to replace this,  is “bluebell”.

Now, some of you may know of my decision to abstain from a particular company due to the reason that I cannot condone the fact that each spring they hold battles in woodland that is carpeted with the most brilliant bluebells.  For an in depth look at this, please see my previous post “ Druidry and Choices” here:  It would appear that some players have decided to take it upon themselves to take this particular subject and twist it around to insinuate that I was a “special snowflake”.  There was some agreement by players on a social media board, before it exploded and abuse and trolling were hurled by some members.  All I asked what if others felt the same way as I did about protecting what I saw as a beautiful woodland – I did not, in fact, want to change the system to suit my needs.

And so, the new term “bluebell” has been born to denote a self-centred, self-indulgent ignorant person who wants to have their own way as opposed to someone who loves and cares for the environment.  This was, in all honesty, quite hurtful for me to hear, and I wondered at the people who would twist such a simple stance to suit their own agenda.

Then it got me thinking.

So, why on earth would someone want to do such a thing?  The obvious response is that it makes them feel better about themselves by putting someone or something down.  I cannot know for certain, however that this is the case.  Looking at popular culture, however, would seem to indicate that this may, indeed be the way that things are heading.  Why? Because more and more we see people criticising others using derogatory terms.  Instead of discussion, debate and honest criticism, we see through television and other media people judging other people with harsher and harsher verbal terminology.  Just watch any “reality” television show where they have judges – how many judges simply put a value on a performance without becoming personal?  There is a growing trend for celebrity television judges to make it personal, to get people on their side, to appear “cool” or “funny”.  This is also the case in everyday life.

In our ever-growing faceless society, the need to “save face” is, ironically, coming to the fore.  With an unseen audience of who knows how many, we feel we have to witty and clever. (Yes, I do see the irony in putting this in an online blog).  For some, the easiest way to do this is by putting another person down – in essence, to be “bigger and more clever”.  Well, as the British saying goes – it’s not big and it’s not clever.

Having spoken to people in science based professional fields, there still seems that there is the ability for disagreement on a subject to occur within the professional sphere without someone feeling the need to act “big and clever”.  Of course, there are always exceptions, but generally debate is still held within certain bounds of respect and integrity that may be lacking in popular culture debates and interactions.  They are able to criticise things without being derogatory, something which I think is falling by the wayside in mainstream society.  I’m still mulling this one over, and your thoughts would be appreciated!

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again – you don’t need to blow out someone else’s candle for yours to burn all the brighter.  We can use words and speech, whether online or offline to interact with each other respectfully.  In Zen, it is agreed that we cannot control the behaviour of others, and so to ponder why people do the things they do is, in fact, a bit of a waste of time.  But I still do wonder why people do the things they do – I can’t help it, and I’m working on it as much as I can – I’m no Buddha.  I find it easy to have pity for people, however, pity requires making a judgement call on their life which may or may not be true – ie. I pity someone because they must have such a dull life they have to hurt other people to make themselves feel better.  This isn’t right, I know.  What I should be doing is having compassion for people – compassion, unlike pity, requires a total lack of judgement on the individual’s part.

Compassion is both the easiest thing and the damned hardest thing in the world.  To learn the ways of compassion, one must first release the notion of the self, the ego that one clings to, in order to see that we are all related, that we are all connected – that there are no “special snowflakes” or even “bluebells” 🙂   There is no one to hurt and be hurt by.  We are all Buddhas.  By taking advice from Buddha’s Eightfold Path, we can learn how to live more compassionately.  By focusing this Lammastide on Right Speech, I hope to change my behaviour so that I may benefit the world and not just my own agenda.  Like racism, sexism and a host of other human ills, hateful speech is learned behaviour.  The good thing about that is that it can be unlearned.

Like I said, I’m working on it.

Druidry and Choices

Sometimes we have to make choices in our lives that don’t give us pleasure, that don’t make our lives easier, that go against the popular majority.  If we are to live with a strong moral and ethical code, we will have to make a stand somewhere, even if we are standing alone.

In my Druid practice, there is a very strong ethical stance with regards to the environment.  It’s why I’ve been vegetarian for nearly twenty years, and why I’ve since gone vegan.  I’ve made a vow not to buy any new clothes for over a year, in order to learn to make do with what I have, or to buy second-hand items when necessary.  I use organic, SLS free bath and beauty products as much as I can. I recycle.  I use vinegar and water to clean my house, sometimes scented with an essential oil. My garden is organic.  These choices have not made my life any easier – in fact, rather the opposite.  But it’s a choice that really wasn’t a choice – I couldn’t follow my religious path without making those changes in my life.

This weekend I had to make a choice about one of my many hobbies as well – LRP, or LARP (live action role-playing).  This system runs its events on land that is leased from other landowners, which has several large fields and a patch of woodland – a great site. However, this spring, the event held battles in the woods, which were in full bloom with bluebells.  Large sections were trampled underfoot by hundreds of people.

An active member of The Woodland Trust, this shocked me to the core.  Bluebell woods are protected, but this was still happening.  After writing to the company owner, I’m still not certain anything will change, or be done about it.  I am sincerely hoping that they will get in touch with the landowners, The Woodland Trust and Natural England about the issue, and how it can be resolved.  I have written to all concerned about the issue. Until then, I cannot give the company any more of my money, for that would be condoning the destruction of bluebell woods.  It’s terribly sad, for I have a lot of friends within that community, but I cannot compromise my principles in this regard.

Druidry is all about relationship, and we can easily forget that relationship is not only with each other as human beings, but with the earth as a whole.  To run through bluebell woods, destroying them underfoot as I “play” out a battle is completely disregarding any relationship to the woods, the protected flora, and all future sites as well.  We must make a stand for what we believe in, when things aren’t right – and especially for those who cannot speak for themselves, whether it be a bluebell, a dog being kicked by its owner, violence towards women, a teenager throwing a soda can onto the verge.

Balancing strong environmentalism whilst living in the 21st century is difficult.  I still have to drive a car fuelled with a non-renewable resource.  My house is heated with oil.  Our electricity is from coal-fired power stations and nuclear power stations.  However, I strive to do the best I can – it’s better than doing nothing at all.

A good resource for living ethically within the Druid Tradition can be found on The Druid Network’s website here –

Mud and Blood: The Ancestors

I spent this long weekend live role-playing in a new game system called Empire run by Profound Decisions (  It was a very good event, in very challenging conditions, and unexpectedly for a fantasy-based game, brought me more in touch with my Druidry and the ancestors than I would have expected.

The weekend was cold. Not just an uncomfortable cold, but a bone-chilling cold especially when temperatures dipped below freezing.  This was the coldest event that I had ever been to in my 15 years of LRPing.  I knew it was going to be cold beforehand and so, like I usually do for the first event of the year, booked a B&B so that I could get some rest at night, and not drive home exhausted from the event once I was sat in a nice, warm car.  Others toughed it out, sleeping for three to four nights in below freezing temperatures.

There were no buildings to warm up in.  The first few days had no hot water in the shower and loo blocks, due to pipes being frozen and generators malfunctioning.  It was achingly cold to be out in the elements for four long days without our modern conventions of central heating, hot water on demand and above all, a cup of tea only minutes away.  I was thankful for the battles that came that weekend, for moving around was the only way to keep warm, and kept you warm for at least a half hour afterwards.

I was camped in the woods with a large nation that can loosely be described as a cross between the ancient Celts and the Rangers from Lord of the Rings.  We had no buildings, and no big tents in which large numbers of people could gather (and share body heat) – we were outside the entire time, with only fires to keep us warm.  The fires were hard to keep lit – the cold and damp just seemed to seep into the firewood no matter how dry it was, and required constant attention.  Take a step away from the fire, and the cold hit you once again.

I was hugely thankful for returning to the warmth after midnight in the hotel room, and even more so upon arriving at home.  I felt that the experience of being out in that drew me closer to the ancestors, giving me a real sense of what they had to go through every winter and every spring.  The constant work of keeping warm, and of keeping fed, was challenging to say the least.  The mud – oh THE MUD was everywhere, well above the ankles and sucking you into its cold embrace wherever you went on the field or on the roads through the wood.

Sitting beneath the trees after the first battle in an almost empty camp, with some bread and very cold water, the snow falling softly around me, I felt a connection with the ancestors – this is what it could have been like for them.  A muddy rath in the winter and springtime, food especially scarce in the spring, and the longing for the warm days of summer flowed through my mind as I listened the blackbird singing above me.  Hearing the cold wind pass over the little hollow with the last rallying cry of winter.  Praying for warmth.  Honouring the cold and the dark. Honouring the mud.

I was blessed with a brief glimpse of what the ancestors had to put up with – never being clean, never being warm, the ease of summer living months away – it was a real eye-opener, to say the least.  I usually go on holiday for a couple of weeks in the year to get away from it all, to reconnect with nature – but as a Canadian, I’ve always done it in the summer. We know better.

With the cold and the mud and the wind came an acceptance of life as it is – complaining about the cold did absolutely no good.  I noticed the first couple of days people’s conversations were rife with comments about the weather, and then as the weekend wore on, less and less comments were made as people either tired of the topic, or came to accept it, as I did – it was as it was, and there was nothing that could be done about it.  We were all in the same boat, so to speak. We were all cold, and tired, and hungry.  It brought us together – I have never been to an event where people were so open and so kind.  I do think the weather had a lot to do with that – when the stakes are high, people pull together to ensure that the community survives.  This community did just that, with my eternal gratitude for being able to be a part of it.

Spring was the hardest season for our ancestors. The cold, the wet, the lack of food and waiting for the crops to be planted and harvested was always on their minds, death always at their door.  I was honoured to really experience that, and will remember this event always for that reason.