I have a lovely book which I’m re-reading, about empowering the wild woman within, manifesting her in all her glory. This book is filled with beautiful poetry and great exercises, written from the heart from a Woman Most Wild. And yet – and yet…
It’s one of many books about female empowerment that talks about working with the energy that originates in your womb space. While this book does state that you can do this even without a womb, it still annoys me, going against the grain of my very feminine soul. Like so many others talking about energetic womb space, many in the Pagan community with feminist goals are still being held back by a woman’s reproductive organs. At least, that’s just my opinion. I’m sure many will disagree.
Maiden, Mother, Crone. Right there, we have the Divine Feminine in a nutshell for so many Pagan paths, and yet it is one that is defined by a woman’s reproductive cycle. We are told that we can feel Her in our own womb spaces, whether we still have them or not. She is defined by her womb that birthed the universe. Is the Divine Masculine defined by his phallus? The Cerne Abbus Giant might say so, but his club is a lot bigger.
Even when I still had a womb, before the hysterectomy that gave me my life back after 30 years of living with fibroids and cysts, even then I never connected to the Divine Feminine through womb energy. I knew from a very early age that I would never birth any children physically. I never wanted to. My dolls were my friends, not children I wanted to raise. Even my Cabbage Patch dolls that I wanted so much (because everyone else had one), even then, after the first day I was tired of taking care of them as children, and they immediately “grew up” to become companions. I have never wanted children in my life. A day spent with someone who has young children reinforces this each and every time. I’m too sensitive, I like quiet and peace and being able to have the freedom to do whatever I wish or need to do at any given moment. My womb was never going to be used for what it was meant for.
Before anyone goes all “Lousie Hay” on me, I will stipulate that I firmly do not believe that my desire to not have children caused my condition. I am a staunch believer that genetics, diet, lifestyle and good/bad luck are the reasons for medical conditions. I think that if we begin to believe otherwise, we are instilling a process of blame and shame for medical conditions. Yes, the body and mind are one, and do affect the other to a certain degree, but I believe that this is taken way too far in many people’s opinions that have absolutely no basis in scientific fact. I am a very practical Pagan. I am happy to dance with the faeries in the moonlight and have a great interest in herbal medicine, but I also feel very strongly about getting all my vaccines and using the benefits that modern medicine can provide. Others may feel differently, and I respect their opinion, though I might not share them.
My womb is like my appendix. It’s a part of me, but if it isn’t working properly, it’s better to have it out. All my life I had painful periods, and was only diagnosed as the womb was being cut out of my body and the real extent of the damage from my condition became known. How much of my life was lived in pain I can only attest to now, because I am free from that pain. It’s like having a whole new life. Sure, I’ve got other problems – don’t we all – and I still ache with arthritis and manage my asthma as best I can. But I’ve got my life back. My womb space caused me nothing but pain since puberty. That’s not something I’m going to celebrate. Like an ancestor who caused you pain, you can acknowledge that they were a part of your life, but you don’t have to celebrate them.
Besides, I am more than my womb.
My womb does not make me a woman. It does not make me what or who I am today, nor did it ever define me in the past. I am more than my womb. I don’t and never have fit into the Maiden Mother Crone categories. I am me, a part of everything and beholden to no one thing.
Was I a “girly girl”? Yes, and no. Labels never really stuck very well on me. As a child I loved dresses and princesses and unicorns. I also loved knocking the ball out of the park when it was my turn at bat on the baseball ground. I played hockey with the boys at lunchtime at elementary school, and I figure skated by myself in the evenings at the outdoor rink. I adore belly dance and the wonderful costumes, but I wear jeans and shirts or leggings for the most part in the rest of my life. The Divine Feminine roared through my veins, but I also heeded the rallying cry of the Divine Male and everything in between. Baseball isn’t masculine, and unicorns aren’t feminine. These are just “tools” we use to put everything into neat little boxes, just like the terms Divine Feminine and Divine Masculine.
I have loved The Goddess all my life. It began when I was very young, and had a book about Greek myths. Artemis and Atalanta, these two ladies were my inspiration, my guiding force. Artemis, the eternal maiden, strong and free, what a role model. Running through the forests, standing under the moonlight, beholden to no one. That was The Goddess for me, and still is today, though in many other forms alongside this one. I have always loved independent female deity: Brighid, Freya, Morrigan, Andraste. Give me these ladies over an Earth Mother any day.
Some of these ladies are extremely sexual and sensual. Good for them, and good for me and all women! I’ve always embraced my sexuality and sensuality. Combined with the intimacy of a good, strong relationship there really isn’t anything better. But did I feel Their energy in my womb centre? Nope. Not once. Where did I feel Them? In my heart. Always, in my heart. That energetic centre swells just thinking about these ladies, just as it does when I think about whatever it means to be in the Divine Feminine category. Same for the Divine Masculine category. My power lies in my heart chakra, not my womb space. My love for this planet comes straight out of my chest, filling my soul with a brilliant light that guides me through the darkest of nights.
So each time I read a passage in a book, or attend a workshop that mentions moving into my womb space, I just have to grin and bear it, and shift the energy up higher, to where it belongs: in my heart. I am not my womb space, and no woman should be defined by that, whether they have them or not. Perhaps if we drop the labels we give to divinity, and forego Divine Feminine and Divine Masculine, then we will truly see that the energy really does emanate from the heart for both, or All, instead of from Their, and our, reproductive bits.
We are star-stuff, as is everything. You can’t define something like that with any more clarity. Or by their physiology. You just have to accept it, and love from that wonderful energy centre that we all have: our hearts.
Down the Forest Path 
Thank you for this. It’s something I have been pondering recently, but your words have said what I needed to hear.
It is such a joy to hear this. I could not have expressed it better myself!
Nice work. As a man, I never have had, nor will I have a ‘womb space’, but I acknowledge the feminine (divine or otherwise) in me, as well as the masculine. I appreciate that ‘men’ in general have messed things up for a long time, and perhaps the ‘womb space’ comes from a place that no man can occupy physically, but it doesn’t sit easy with me. Whilst it is traditional to put men in one box and women in another, we know not all cultures made it so binary. And for me, it’s not all about procreation – I’ve been married a long time and neither me or my wife have wanted children. Not knocking anyones beliefs, but these are mine!
I had a very intense new moon ritual about a year and a half back, about indeed being woman and feeling Goddess inside me. I wrote down the exact same things you mention here. That it resides in my heart and not in a womb which has brought me nothing but pain. Thank you for sharing your own experiences with this ❤
Agree 100%
I appreciate your opinion on this matter. There are aspects of your view that I fully agree with and some that I do not. I am currently studying ‘womb healing work’ and I think it is important to acknowledge that not every individual is going to fully grasp the concept of what the WOMB SPACE truly is…the space within you where all creation resides. It does not have to be in your pelvic bowl and it doesn’t have to be in your chest either. The connection to a physical ‘space’ within the body is only a means to connect mind to something that, in actuality, cannot be comprehended by the mind at all. Words fall short to explain the essence of energetic forces only our spirits can feel and connect to. This is the downfall of human evolution as it stands. That we feel the need to explain the unexplainable. I am sorry to hear that your womb caused you so much pain. That must have been really miserable for you. I am however happy to hear that having your womb removed has given you your life back. Saying this though…I do think it is important to note the MASSIVE impact that your womb had in your life, whether positive or negative. And now…there IS a space left there where it once was. Waiting to be healed.
Yes, and the healing process took several years, both physically, mentally and emotionally. I appreciate your point that “womb energy” is not necessarly located in the pelvic bowl, or the chest. But my question is then why call it womb energy? Does this limit the energy of creative force to women, and not men? Why not simply call it “creative energy”? Does the application of female biology on the concept limit its interpretation? For me, I think it does. I believe that the creative force is all around us, all the time. It’s in the wind, the rain, the sun, the trees, the anthill. It’s also within me, but I wouldn’t call it “womb energy”. I appreciate that others have different experiences and interpretations, however. Yes, my womb had a massive impact on my life. But so does my heart, my liver, my thyroid and myriad other parts of my body. The emphasis on the physical womb bothers me, and seems to be to possibly even be a legacy from patriarchal structures, where women are their wombs and their capacity for bearing children (and little else). In Druidry we have the awen, the divine inspiration, the creative force, the beauty of soul touching soul and creating something new, a new way of being in the world. That does not reside anywhere in the body, though it is sometimes thought to be the “fire in the head” or resting within the Three Cauldrons in the body. But there is no agreed place, and all over the world this energy exists in different places, depending on your culture. It’s a very interesting thing to consider. I wish you blessings on your work.