Why Do I Write?

Why do I write?

It’s an interesting question. I’ve always been a passionate person. About life. Love. Freedom. Respect. Accountability. Equality. And though I’ve dabbled in music and art, writing is where I feel that I can truly express myself without any barriers. It comes as naturally to me as breathing. I think in writing, in prose, in poetry. It just doesn’t stop. Ideas, stories, phrases come to me in the middle of the night, or while taking a bath, or going for a walk, or making love. Much as a musician can’t breathe if they can’t make music, I can’t function if I can’t write. Whatever muse or muses stand at my shoulder, they keep providing me with the energy and inspiration to write, to inspire others, and for that, I am utterly grateful each and every day.

I began writing fiction at the age of thirteen. I had read The Lord of the Rings, and my world opened to a vast realm of possibility. I saw myself in the books that I read, and created new stories around those ideas. But by the age of twenty-three, after I had been rejected by publishers who stated that the stories were “too advanced” or that they were looking to sell books “for sixteen-year-old boys”, I gave up.

In my thirties, I returned to writing, but this time it was non-fiction. I became a published non-fiction author, writing about different aspects of Druidry and then in my forties about Witchcraft. I was able to share my personal path, walked over decades and miles of forest, countryside and city jungles. I was able to inspire others, and every email, message or comment on how someone’s life had changed because of the words—it meant everything to me.

My life took a completely different route in 2024. My love for fiction never left me, and the self-publishing industry allowed me to write what I wanted, for whoever wanted to read it. It levelled the playing field, so to speak, for writers to not have to kneel before whoever decided who the readership would be.

We simply got the chance to write the stories that flowed through us.

And it was the best thing that I have ever done.

For I had never, ever left my true love. I couldn’t—creating stories is who I am as a being. I am a storyteller, and even in my non-fiction, I wove real-life narratives and tales into the work. But now, well, now the sky is the limit, and my muses are one hundred per cent behind me.

My Witches of the New Forest fiction series has really taken off, and has a dedicated audience that I am so blessed to interact with. When I write for them, I often don’t know where the story will go; I only have a vague inclination as to the paths the characters will choose. I simply sit down and write, allowing the muses to speak and flow through me. All that I know is that I want to create tales of women coming into their own power, and discovering love, loss, mystery and adventure along the way. It’s been a long, roundabout journey for me to return to my first love, and I am eternally grateful for the opportunity to do so.

My writing is a reflection of who I am. They are my stories that I am telling, as well as the stories of other women, both fictional and in real life. They are all through the lens that I view the world through, in all its Mystery. It is the breathing in and the breathing out, the taking in and releasing, the cycles of the ebb and flow of the vast oceans and the turning of the seasons.

They are stories of hope.

And this is why I write. It is a part of me, it is who I am, and what the muses encourage me to do.

I Stopped Meditating

I stopped meditating for a few months.

Sometimes, when everything in your life just seems so much bigger than before, we can often set aside the so-called smaller things in order to focus and cope with the larger things.

But here’s the thing: it’s the small things that add up over time, which help us to deal with the big stuff.

From December until now, in mid-March 2026, my daily routine and ritual consisted of a short prayer to my goddess, and occasional walks when I had the time out on the heath. Over the winter holidays, when I was travelling, even this fell by the wayside until I returned home. Daily meditations went out the window because I thought I just didn’t have the time.

What I forgot was this one essential truth: we can always make time for the things that really matter in our lives.

It was the end of February, and after a long, hard day editing my latest book, Lovers and Lies (Witches of the New Forest, Book 5, coming out in April), I went upstairs to sit at the window in my disused meditation space. This seat offers me a wonderful view of the back garden and beyond, down the little valley that leads to the stream at the end of the lane that eventually flows out to the sea. My mind was a mess of worry, busy thoughts, and more.

And then I put them all down for ten brief seconds.

I watched the pine trees swaying in the breeze, and heard the blackbird singing in the evening light. And for those ten seconds, seeing the natural world just outside my window, just being, doing its own thing, I left all my mental baggage and enjoyed a moment of just existing, quietly, in that very moment.

It brought tears of relief to my eyes.

It is so difficult to describe that feeling in words. It was like I was carrying heavy luggage around in my mind and body, and I had simply set it down and taken a long, steadying breath.

And I then realised that I didn’t want to pick up those heavy bags again.

On and off, when I could, at the end of each working day, I went upstairs to look out that window and reconnect for a few minutes. Sometimes I was successful. Most of the time I was not. And then I knew that I had to do more. I had to reinstate my daily meditation practice.

And so I am. For fifteen minutes a day, to begin with, I am going to just sit and release all the thoughts that are whirring around in my brain. I want to feel that beautiful release of setting down that baggage and instead walking through life with just my carry-on. Light, easy to carry and easy to set down, this is how I want to move through the world again. We can lose sight so quickly of what really matters to us. There are so many distractions, so many so-called refuges that are anything but. For me, I know what works. And that is sitting quietly, observing all my crazy whirlwind thoughts, and then letting them go, one by one, as I set down my baggage for the day and walk into the world slightly less mentally encumbered.

Just as whenever I fly back to Canada to visit my family, I only ever take carry-on luggage. Easy to move, small and lightweight, no extra expenses. No worries about lost luggage, no waiting in the luggage area after a flight, I can just walk out of the airport and get on with my holiday. This is how I plan to move through life. It’s only the essentials that matter.

I’d like to thank that pine tree and blackbird, who reminded me of what it is that I needed to focus on in my life right now, when I had lost my way.

And I will meditate and give myself the time to remember this valuable lesson.

More Peace and Less the Joy of Viciousness

Being a bit of a hermit living out on the far eastern edges of England and not engaging all that much online in favour of working with the land and the local people around me, I miss a lot of the intensity, drama, and other goings-on in the Pagan/Witchcraft/Heathen/Druid community. The online community is but one of many communities in which people can gather, and yet for the last decade or two seems to have taken prominence over others. Whether this is a good thing or not I am not going to judge. What I will comment on in this blog post, however, is the validity of one’s own practice, religion, or path in light of the divisiveness that communities can create, which in today’s day and age the loudest seems to be the online community.

This is nothing new. Communities are where people gather, and where people gather there will always be shit-talking. People are people. They are wonderful and loving, they are kind and compassionate, they are cruel and mean, and they are stirrers and troublemakers. There’s nothing you can really do about other people, online or off, and the only real changes you can make are to your own life, letting that be an example for others.

In a magical community, there are extra forces at work, different powers at play, and yet at the heart of it all is simple humanity. There is good and bad in the world, there are good and bad people and everything in between. We all have actions, deeds, or thoughts we regret, as well as beautiful acts of generosity and love. What we need to remember, and indeed foster, is something that I heard Maxine Sanders say in an interview with the Museum of Witchcraft back in December 2017.

She stated that we need more peace and less of the joy of viciousness in our lives. That there is nothing worse that sanctimosity without the holy. These phrases have really struck a chord with me, and make me think of what so many people tell me about the online community today, and what little I have myself experienced over the last twenty years. Before we had the internet these things still occurred, and as I have already stated, people are people. But the far-reaching abundance and ease with which sanctimosity and viciousness can occur online behind a screen of anonymity is something totally new to humanity, and is indeed changing the way that we humans think and behave in the world at large. And it is something that does indeed frighten me.

The main point that I am trying to reach in a rather circumventuous (yes, I just made that word up and I like it) route is that I feel there is a real need to concern yourself less with what others are doing in their own spiritual practice/Craft/religion and to focus on your own work more. It is far easier to belittle, attack or comment on other people’s work than to take a good, hard look at your own. Looking outwards is usually always simpler than looking inwards. But understanding your own self will help you to better understand others far quicker than focusing outwards all the time, in my opinion.

I wrote a blog post at the end of last year about what your life is like when no one is watching, and I feel that ties in neatly with what I am trying to say here. Concern yourself less with what other people think, and take the time to really know and understand what it is that you think, feel, and should work towards. In a magical life and practice, this will certainly be different for every individual, based on their life circumstances such as upbringing, environment, culture and society, economic stability and a whole host of things that fit within Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs (although needs don’t necessarily form a hierarchy). If each person’s practice is unique according to each person’s life experience, then how on earth can anyone tell another that they are doing it wrong? Is this not an ego and control issue, rather than trying to further the Craft/spirituality/religion?

Let’s take Maxine’s advice to heart. Let us find the holy in our own lives, without being sanctimonious about it. Let’s leave off the joy of viciousness in favour of more peace in our own lives. Let’s focus on ourselves and our own practice, and stop comparing them and our lives to others’ on the internet or in the real life community, because we are not getting the full picture in either situation. We can be inspired by those whose words and actions lift us up, and open up new pathways of being, for sure. But living a life of comparison is an empty one.

Live your life, and work your magic as it best works for you.

Because that’s all that you really can do.

Feel the magic…

It has been 1 year!!!

It has been exactly one year since Hedge Witch, Book 1 of the Witches of the New Forest series came out. I want to thank everyone for their kind words, support, comments and reviews. This series has been so successful, and I am just over the moon with it all. I love writing stories and creating magical worlds to escape in, and I look forward to writing more books in this series! Book 5 to come out in 2026!
Witches of the New Forest, the new series by Joanna van der Hoeven.
Available for Kindle, paperback and Kobo editions.
Buy your copy now!
For the UK: https://www.amazon.co.uk/Hedge-Witch-Witches-Forest-Book-ebook/dp/B0DJL1X635
For the US: https://www.amazon.com/Hedge-Witch-Witches-Forest-Book-ebook/dp/B0DJL1X635
For Canada: https://www.amazon.ca/Hedge-Witch-Witches-Forest-Book/dp/B0DLLFZDKM

The Spooky Season and the Weirdos (and the Exhaustion of it All)

It’s at this time of the year when we Witches, Druids, Heathens and Pagans come to attention of many, especially in the media circles. Some are genuinely interested in our way of life, our beliefs and how we interact with the world. Most, however, just see us as a bunch of kooks to be brought out into the light of the jack-o-lanterns of Hallowe’en.

I have wondered lately how long this perception of us as crazy, misguided, weird or strange will last. How is it that believing in deities that are associated with nature is considered bonkers, but a dead guy claiming to be the son of God being resurrected is totally sane? Other religions (because for me, Witchcraft is a religion as well as a Craft) are, for the most part, not treated in a similar manner. Hinduism, Buddhism, Jainism—most of “isms” apart from Paganism—are treated with more respect. The constant mockery of our own past and attempts to reconnect to it just doesn’t make any sense whatsoever to me.

Do some of us like to dress up in robes and carry out ritual observances? Sure, but so does the Catholic Bishop, the Buddhist monk and the Taoist priest. Is it because we Pagans are not considered ordained clergy in the same regard (even if some of us have gone through legal ordination where we live?) and are just “play-acting” at being something we are not? That doesn’t make sense given our huge cultural influence of Protestantism, where one does not have to be a priest in order to connect with deity (or ancestors, spirits of place, whatever one chooses to have a relationship with). One can deny it all they want, but threads of Protestantism are rife within Western culture, from the work ethic to the ideas of self-sufficiency, both in the mundane and in the spiritual sense.

I am so tired of being considered an “outsider” simply because I want to research and recreate a spiritual tradition based on my pre-Christian ancestors and cultural roots. In the grand scheme of things, Christianity is so young, and we as a society have barely even begun to be Christianised, let alone stop being Pagan. We anthropomorphize non-human beings and objects, we have folklore and superstitions that are embedded in every culture, and we have such a real, visceral need to connect to nature that nowadays, when we cannot, we are medically diagnosed as suffering from “nature deficit disorder”.

When will the time come when at a party or gathering if someone asks you about your personal life and you tell them that you are Witch, or a Druid, or a Heathen, you don’t get a strange look, a raised eyebrow, or an instant dismissal of some kind? That people won’t question your intelligence or your sanity because you choose to follow a spirituality that is earth-based, or that incorporates ancestral veneration, or that you have relationships with more than one deity? That won’t scoff when you say that you practice the magickal arts, even as they go to church and take part in the Eucharist where the wine becomes the blood of Christ through consubstantiation? When will all aspects of Paganism become “normal”?

Then again, do we want to be normal? Is there even such a thing? I certainly don’t think so. But it would be nice to not have to explain that we are not worshipping the Devil (unless you are, in which case, it should make for an interesting conversation to say the least, if the person you are talking to doesn’t go running and screaming for the hills), that we don’t dance naked around a fire (unless that’s your thing, but it’s usually too bloody cold or buggy here in the UK for that), or that you can turn people into toads (if only). That the jokes about all these things would be considered politically incorrect, and that we would no longer have to put up with this nonsense. That we wouldn’t be considered freaks, weirdos or nuts. That we just want to practice what our ancestors have done, and try to recreate some of the old ways as much as we possibly can so that we don’t forget our heritage. That we find new ways to practice and adapt the old ways in order to fit into a modern life.

There are some benefits to being an outsider. You can look at things more objectively, when you are not right in the thick of something that is considered culturally normal, even superior. That you are transgressive, in some way, which kind of makes you a little dangerous (and who doesn’t like that feeling every once in a while?). But it is also a constant battle of wills, to try and be seen and heard for what you are without the ridicule, mockery, disbelief and sometimes outright hatred. We think we have moved on from the witch hunts, but just how much have we progressed? And how far do we have to go?

The layers of Christianity and patriarchy that underly all of Western society certainly doesn’t help. But we are in 2025, for the goddess’ sake. In my lifetime alone, we have seen amazing advances in technology, society and psychology. But there is still so much more that needs to be done. And I often wonder if I will ever see a significant change in my lifetime. Will I ever be able to meet someone new, and not feel awkward about telling them about my spiritual life, if they should ask? Will it ever just be easy?

Maybe it’s just not supposed to be easy, at least not yet. There are still many mountains to climb, both literally and figuratively. Maybe we still need to the be the ones who wake others up to a world that lies beyond their own.

But dammit, some days it’s just friggin’ exhausting.

Happy Hallowe’en, Witches!

The Season of the Witch

The winds have changed, and the season of autumn leaves, cold nights and dew-filled, frosty mornings is upon us. Finally! After the heat of this summer, I am more than ready to don my jumpers and jeans, get on my hiking boots and head out onto the heath and in the forest without worrying about whether I’ve got enough water, sunscreen, overheating, etc. It’s time to explore!

Not that I’ve got much time myself, sigh. With Smugglers and Secrets, Book 4 of my Witches of the New Forest fiction series coming out at the end of this month, it’s all hands-on deck to get everything ready for the launch date of October 31st. In hindsight, I probably should have picked a date a few days before, but with the ghostly theme of the book, and in my own excitement about sharing Ryder’s story, I chose Samhain, Hallowe’en. So now I’ve got a book launch, and a big festival to celebrate all in one day.

I shall be in bed for the rest of that weekend. Don’t call me.

After a short week in North Wales, I returned home to find that the deer rut had begun. It is always an exciting time here on the heath and in the forest. Hearing the calls of the bucks in the growing twilight and in the full dark always gets my blood pumping. Any spare moments I can get (which will be few this month) I will be out there with my camera, as always. I already got my special boy, Aelfric, who walked right up and asked to have his photos taken. So, I did!

I’m so sad to have had to pull out of Witchfest International this year, due to medical appointments, and especially now that I’ve heard it’s the LAST EVER Witchfest International. I’ve noticed over the last five or six year the numbers of people attending have been declining rapidly, which is such a shame. But nothing lasts forever and so I urge you, if you are able, to check out this wonderful gathering with talks, workshops, stalls, and music in the evening. They even have a lovely new venue for this one, which means that the safety and security of all from any protestors will be ensured. The previous venue’s location meant that protesters to any and all Pagans could picket almost right outside the door. Well, not for this venue! So go, be your best Pagan self, and join the community in a celebration of a wonderful thing.

It’s the season of the Witch, after all!

September Full Moon and Eclipse Magick

September and October are my favourite months of the year. Nature is winding down, the slant of afternoon sunlight is more golden, and the smell of fallen leaves drifts through the air. This September has started with rain, finally, here in the East of England. We still need much more rain, even though storms have come and gone almost every day this week. Our rivers, streams, and reservoirs are still low, and we hope that this autumn and winter they will be replenished, as last year they hadn’t been filled over the colder months as they should have been. The heat and dry weather over the last six months have taken their toll on the trees, grasses, and wildlife in the area.

And so, I welcome the rain, and the coming autumn months. I seek respite from the harsh sun, from the heat and humidity. I long for the cool breezes, for jumpers and jeans, for cold nights and the scent of woodsmoke from the cottages around me.

The full moon on Sunday, 7 September reflects this feeling. Here in Britain, the full moon will rise in a full eclipse, something which will be spectacular to see, if the skies are clear on the horizon. I hope to watch it rise from the North Sea, blood red and powerful during this harvest time. For me, this eclipsed moon and its deep red colour connects me to my ancestors and the hard work that they endured during harvest season. It is also a magickal moon, which connects me to the wise women and cunningmen of my ancestors, whose gifts have been passed down from generation to generation.

It is a moon also of manifestation: with the aid of the ancestors, allow the power of this lunar eclipse to manifest for you what it is that you have worked so hard for all year long, with the extra energy of not only the full moon’s magick, but the eclipse, blood-red energy of the ancestors who have got your back.

Attune to your power, and know that long lines of ancestors stand behind you. Those magickal people who have passed down their gifts in your bloodline will want you to succeed, to thrive. Use that energy during this moon, and be blessed.

P.S. Don’t forget, pre-order are now available on Amazon for Smugglers and Secrets, Book 4 of my fiction series, Witches of the New Forest 🙂

Intuitively Wild Podcast

I was on the Intuitively Wild Podcast, and you can have a listen here!

https://embed.podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/healing-our-relationships-with-nature-technology/id1705090935?i=1000702830922