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To be or not to be – that is the question…

Questioning your spiritual and religious path is something that happens to almost everyone who is travelling down the winding trackways of life, with its twists and turns, surprises and disappointments. For the most part, we try to find others who are on a similar path, to share in the experience, to help us perhaps with their stories, to provide guidance or simply reassurance that we are on the correct path. We as a species are a tribal people. We also love to put things into categories and boxes, in order to make some sort of sense of life. With religion or spirituality, it’s never that easy.

Our path may have been walked by others for many years – or we may be forging out on our own. It helps if we can name our path, as if in naming we can further clarify the intention behind the journeying. We can get caught up in the naming, trying to find where we fit in the world, finding some definition that makes sense to us and to everyone else. Sometimes there is no sense to be made, for if we are walking between worlds, defining it using the terms of just one world can make it seem less than what it really is, what it feels like to us, and how we experience it.

When we are researching our path, we come across definitions that others have used, that they may still use and hope that perhaps we will fit somewhere within them. Yet the fit isn’t quite right – either the hem is too low, the collar too tight, the colour is wrong. We may like the cut but not the pattern. It may not be suitable in all weathers – you get my point. When I first started out, it was on the path of Wicca, back in the early 1990s, then coming to Druidry shortly after the new millennium had begun. I’ve studied other religious paths along the way – Buddhism and Zen, Native American, Romany Chovihano, Heathenry and more. Always questing the awen, I’ve often found that there is no monopoly on wisdom. I’ve incorporated elements of all these into my own Druidry and, by doing is, is it still Druidry?

For me, yes – it is. My path is based on the wisdom of this land and the ancestors. This is the base from which I work, flavoured with ideas and teachings from other paths. Yet it is still, in essence, Druidry – at least in my own eyes. Others might disagree. For me, Druidry is simply a word that describes the language of my spirituality, of my religion. In it I find the wisdom of the oak – for me it is that simple.

Questioning and questing are valuable assets in our spiritual paths – they are a force against complacency, against blind acceptance. They make us address the issues of words and ideas thoroughly in a meaningful way that pertains to us alone. I’ve witnessed many thoughtful words from people looking at their own path, and trying to find a definition that works. Nell wrote on her blog, The Animist Craft of community (click HERE for full article). Lorna Smithers currently has found a new path that makes sense for her (click HERE) and Nimue Brown has discussed it in various forms on her posts, Disillusioned with Druidry and Walking your Own Pagan Path (and written a book, Spirituality Without Structure). Emma Restall Orr even touched upon this issue in “Essays in Contemporary Paganism” (Moon Books, 2013) in her essay, “After Paganism”. After spending around 30 years being a leading figure in the Druid community, she now states on her website [accessed 25 June, 2014]:

“Studying Druidry from the mid 1980s, I worked for The Order of Bards Ovates and Druids, then The British Druid Order, where I was joint chief for some 9 years alongside Philip Shallcrass. In 2002 I left to found The Druid Network, which now runs without me. While my time within Druidry was enormously valuable, I would no longer term myself a Druid.”

Our beliefs and attitudes are always shifting, always questing the awen in different ways. We may walk a path for a while, for many years even, and then find that we’d rather follow something else or create a new path deep through the forest of our souls. We may find that we do not fit in with the definition others ascribe to a path, such as Druidry. We may shrug off what others say and continue to call ourselves Druids, feeling that the word itself, and not the adherents to it, adequately describe our own path.

For me personally, I’m happy with the term, Druid, even though I disagree with a lot of what other Druids do, just as much as I agree with them. Though others may say or do things I find embarrassing, or simply wrong, they do not describe my path any more than those who I find inspirational and wise. Are we trying too hard to find definitions of what we are, or what we aren’t, or is this an exercise that is necessary in order not only to define our own paths, but our own selves? Where does intention fit in with this idea? Are you happy with the terms you or others have ascribed to your own path? Do these terms matter?

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Offense taken, Mr Fry

*Warning – this blog post contains strong language*

 
stephen-fry-on-offenceI’ve been thinking about Stephen Fry’s little rant that made the rounds of social media a year or so back. It’s something I’ve been meaning to comment on for a while, mulling it over thoroughly, discussing it with other people and trying to understand the mindset that would provide such an opinion.

 
In short, I just can’t understand why he would say such a thing.

 
The blog Tea Leaves and Dog Ears has provided a good reply to his statement. However, there are still a lot of people who agree with Fry’s sentiment, including Ricky Gervais, who stated on his Facebook page in August 2013:

 
“We have to stop this recent culture of people telling us they’re offended and expecting us to give a fuck.”

 
Fry and Gervais’ comments are nothing short of belligerent. When someone does not care regarding the effect their words and actions have on society in general, they are also not acting in any way with compassion. Fry’s comments about taking offense are well and good if he is the one being offensive, however, as in Tea Leaves and Dog Ears’ blog, when it is his own person that is being offended, the tables turn and a double standard occurs.

 
I’ve been studying the Celtic worldview for some while now, diving in to the history and research, and have come across one perspective time and again: that of personal responsibility. In a culture, in a society, we all have a personal responsibility to behave in accordance with that society and the laws that it contains. If we don’t like them, we should be able to speak out against them in a peaceful manner, protesting using our freedom of speech. Yet every action, every word that comes out of our mouths we are responsible for, whether spoken with mindfulness or mindlessness.

 
I believe that Fry’s and Gervais’ comments were spoken out of mindlessness. In Mr Fry’s case, also taken out of context. I also believe that they would, and probably have, taken offense at something since they made those comments. It is human nature to have an opinion. We have a voice and we use it. Sometimes we do so with full intention, sometimes we do not think before we speak.

 
I simply cannot fathom walking around, saying things without thinking of the repercussions my words and actions would have on the world. My sense of personal responsibility lies too thickly ingrained in my soul. It is confirmed by my Druidry, by my spiritual path. Stating that those who are taking offense are merely having a “whine” is to diminish their point of view, their opinion as worthless. It goes against the very freedom of speech that the original rant seems to hold up.

 
Sometimes it can be hard to find the words at the exact moment the offense is being taken. We’re not all eloquent beyond belief, able to put thoughts and emotions into carefully constructed arguments on the spot. It is a talent that some people have, some do not. We should not dismiss those who cannot find the words to express their true feelings, who can only say at that moment that they’ve taken offense. We have hurt someone’s feelings. We hate it when our feelings get hurt. Why do we forget that when we are the ones that are creating the offense?

 
Acting with compassion in all things is central to Buddhism. Right Speech is part of the Eightfold Path. I personally do not believe that Fry or Gervais’ comments are made with this in mind. Speech, words and stories were very important to the Celtic ancestors. The Druid teachings up until the modern day were never written down, for various reasons – to keep it within a political and spiritual elite in Classical times, for example. Going back further than this brief point in history, the written word did not exist for our Bronze Age or Neolithic ancestors. What was said, expressed in a language either now lost or evolved into our current tongue mattered. Even before verbal language, body language meant so much. Just watch two strange cats meeting each other, eyeing each other up for the first time…

 
So, we shouldn’t dismiss someone for taking offense simply because they cannot express in words at that time what it is that is hurting them. It’s difficult for a lot of people. And what of those non-human beings that we hurt? We must act with compassion, yes – but we must also be allowed to stand up for our rights, to be able to express it in our own time without being told that we are simply “whining”.

 
Supporting Fry and Gervais’ statements can lead to all sorts of messy encounters. Sexual harassment, jokes of a sexist, racist or religious nature can lead to a culture sliding down the slippery slope of intolerance, misogyny and bigotry. The words “rape culture” are hot right now, filled with debate about what it is and what is isn’t, who is contributing to it and who isn’t. Again, here I think that personal responsibility is key to working in honourable relationship with the world at large. Not giving a f*ck isn’t.

 
There is also the argument that letting go without taking offense is the best way forward. However, this only applies to a comfortable Western point of view, where one isn’t being shot at, forced to marry their rapist, or being subjected to all manner of discrimination due to the colour of their skin, their gender or their religious beliefs.
We are a vocal tribe now, and as such we should discuss things with compassion. Simply stating that someone is whining is not taking a look at the broader picture. In doing so, one is dismissing another human being. In time, someone may find the words to express their offense – it is a matter of eloquence and language, not one of who is right and who is wrong. Dismissing the other for taking offense is, in my opinion, repulsive and incorrigible. It is bad behaviour and bad form.

 
Stand up for what you believe in. Express yourself as eloquently and as honourably as you can. Consider the impact that your words will have on the world at large. Use the tenets of Right Speech and personal responsibility to the best of your ability. It is all that we can do. We may fail, we may be brought up on it, and it is up to us to make amends. Do not let pride get in the way. No one is infallible.

 

 

Dealing with depression and despair…
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Dealing with depression and despair…

Being kind isn’t all that hard. Being jolly and upbeat all the time is – and is a denial of our emotions and bodily responses to certain situations.

 
I woke up yesterday in a bad mood – which has spilled over into today. The reasons for it are numerous: tiredness, frustration, a lack of compassion in the world amongst others. The Zen thing to do would be to be present in the moment, for in this moment there is all that we need. There is nothing but this moment. Feelings of despair arise when we separate ourselves from the moment, and think about the past or the future, dwelling on certain aspects and perhaps not seeing the bigger picture (or perhaps even seeing the bigger picture, which can cause us to despair even more).

 
Yes – I am quite comfortable in this present moment as I write this. I am not being shot at. I am not in fear for my life. My loved ones are safe. I have a cup of tea, and enough food to eat. My body is clean, my clothes warm. Compared to many, what on earth am I doing feeling despondent?

 
Humanity’s blessing, and curse, is the ability to see the bigger picture. This can lead to glorious ideas about the direction we should take; it can also lead to despair when we take into consideration the negative aspects of our lives on this planet. Focusing on just the positive isn’t balanced – neither is focusing on the negative. As a Druid, I am constantly seeking balance and harmony, to find my place in the world and to serve this world in the best capacity that I can, being true to my nature and honourable in my deeds.

 
I sometimes fail at this. I sometimes succeed. In this, there is balance. Of course, I aim to look at things from a balanced perspective, but on the whole we are conditioned throughout our lives to try and look at things positively. However, when looking at things negatively, we need to remember that negative does not equal apathy. If there is something we do not like, we can seek a way to change it. It’s in our hands.

 
This is not denying the negative. It is living a life with intention. Creating peace is damned hard work. It requires a person to see all sides of a story and work with the ideals of compassion and empathy. If we only acknowledged the positive things in our lives, our compassion and empathy would be seriously diminished.

 
I sometimes find myself thinking that Buddhist monks have got it pretty easy, secluded away in their monasteries, not engaging with the real world. Some do. However, I remind myself that other monks have engaged with the world in ways that I probably will never be able to – think Thich Nhat Hanh helping to rebuild villages during the Vietnam War, not taking sides with anyone and simply helping people as best he could. I’m sure at some points he too despaired, seeing children dying, homes destroyed and his country torn apart. My despair pales in comparison to this.

 
This is not to say that I should not acknowledge my own despair, however. If I did, if I pushed it to one side to focus on the positive, I’m sure that it would return to bite me on the ass at the most inopportune moment. We don’t have to give in to feelings of despair, but neither should we push them aside. We normally don’t push feelings of joy aside – we like to experience these. All feelings should be felt – and then we can move on.

 
So, tired after dance rehearsals and depressed by the amount of litter that I see along the roadsides that I will have to clear (again), apprehensive about coming engagements and a workload that was supposed to be lighter this year being heavier than ever, I am feeling my despair, my depression. I am allowing it to move through me, so that I can come out the other side having had the experience, which will hopefully transform into some sort of wisdom.

 
This despair will be self-contained – I will not be taking it out on others. I will try not to snap at people even though my emotions and reactions feel more “on edge” than normal. You can despair at the world and still be kind. You can reach out a hand to friends or family if you need to. You can write about it in a blog.

 
Above all, you are allowed to feel it, in your bones and in your soul.

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Reblog: The Druid Approach to Ageing

Here is  my latest blog post for my channel, Druid Heart at SageWoman’s blogs on Witches and Pagans.

Coming up to my fortieth year, I’ve been doing quite a bit of meditation upon the concept of ageing, and what it means to a woman in modern Western society.

 
As you all know, we have such a skewed view of aging in our culture and society – young equals beautiful when it comes to the homo sapiens. We do not judge the beauty of trees, flowers, cats or clouds, mountains or rivers by their age – why on earth do we do it for our own species?

 
Obvious reasons come down to one thing – money. Beauty is big business, and what better way than to create a marketing campaign that cannot fail – for everyone will get older. There’s no denying it. Feed upon our Western fear of ageing and death, and make big bucks while doing it. For the Druid, it is saddening, filling us with despair at times.

 
Beauty comes in all shapes and forms. For the animist Druid even more so. Value has no age limit – each thing has its own inherent value, its own inherent beauty. It is spirit given form. That spirit cannot be anything but beautiful. Truth is beauty, beauty truth. Living one’s truth is living beautifully. (See my previous post for Moon Books’ blog, on Truth, Honour and Service – http://moon-books.net/blogs/moonbooks/truth-honour-service/).

 
Why do we separate ourselves from our own truth when it comes to physical appearance? Because of the incessant marketing campaign mentioned above, to make us feel constantly dissatisfied with our appearance. No one can avoid ageing, but we can make everyone paranoid about it. What if we just stopped listening to Them, and just started listening to Us, the gods, the ancestors and the natural world around us?

 

To read more, click HERE

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Calling Oneself a Druid

A blog post about whether to call yourself “Druid” or not has been brewing in my mind for weeks – when do we think we can claim the title?

 
Simply because in the past one could not claim to be a Druid until after 19 years training (depending upon the source you use) doesn’t mean that we still have to follow that way of thinking today. The Celts did many things that we don’t or wouldn’t do today. For instance, the ancestors performed animal sacrifice – we don’t. We have to adapt to the modern day to be able to let our path expand and fulfill our needs of today.

 
To call oneself a Druid is to simplify our intention – how else would we go about it? To say “I am a follower on the path of Druidry” just doesn’t roll off the tongue in casual conversation. The term is there to clarify the path, not to claim grand titles. Christians don’t believe that they are Christ. Buddhists don’t claim to be The Buddha (they are all Buddhas). Therefore, those that follow the path of Druidry, in my view, can call themselves Druid – what are the alternatives? Druidists? Druidans? Druidarians?

 
Doesn’t quite work.

 
If we don’t adapt the Celtic worldview to ours, we are simply are creating or following dogma, which is an anathema to Druidry, in my view. We should learn all that we can from our Celtic ancestors, to inform our current worldview. The future is built brick by brick up on the past. The ancient Celtic worldview teaches us of a time in history, a specific point and that specific point only. What is no longer relevant to modern day society we need to address, and find new ways of making it work. We aren’t changing it into a completely new religion – it must adapt and flow like the awen itself.

 
Therefore, to me a beginner on the Druid path may call him or herself a Druid without fear. So can one who has followed the path for 7, 13, 25 years or more. What matters more than the amount of time you have spent on this path is what lies within your heart.

 
If you love and honour nature, if you seek to learn and inform your worldview from it and feel called to the path of Druidry, then you are a Druid. Walk your talk, live in balance and harmony, and inform yourself – become a student of life. Learn history, language, biology, ecology and astronomy. Gain the intelligence and use it – experience it. That is the path to wisdom. Above all, honour your own nature as well – for in seeing the divinity within nature, we see the nature of the divine.

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Truth, Honour, Service

Druidry can be summed up in three words – truth, honour and service. Yet these words can be very vague – what do they mean to the Druid?

 
Truth is not just figurative and literal truth. There are other dimensions to the word when we see it in accordance with our views of the world and religion or spirituality. Druids live in reverence of nature, connecting the world through awen, the flowing inspiration that guides and directs, that is each thing’s own soul song. When each thing is living in accordance to its own soul song, in accordance to its own nature, then it is following its own truth.

 
The world around us tries to muddy the waters of our truth, making us believe we need more than we could possibly know what to do with, making us think we are above others, making us feel inferior, unworthy and unloved. It tries to tell us that we are lacking. When we take a step back away from the world, we can examine it from a different perspective, seeing what is often termed in Druidry as “the truth against the world”.

 
This truth is our soul song. It shines from us when we live in accordance with nature. If flows like the awen when we care for ourselves, others and the planet. It springs forth when we acknowledge the times and tides of life and death. When we step away from what really matters, from living our own truth, we can feel distanced from the world and from each other, and perhaps even our own selves. We must return to the basics of what is our place is within nature, and how we can live in harmony and balance with it. When we do, we are then living our truth.

Honour is another word that lies in the hazy mists of time. It has connotations of chivalry, fealty and nobility. Yet honour is simply the courage to live our soul truth in the world. It is standing strong by our principles of balance and harmony, making the world a better for all. Returning again to what really matters, to our place in the world, is at the heart of honour. It is not a one-time thing that we can achieve and then sit back, resting on our laurels. Honour requires hard work, all the time, to see that we are indeed living our soul truths to the best of our ability.

 

When we come to understand truth and honour, the natural outcome is service. We live our lives in service to our Druidry – we can do no other. We are not subservient to anyone but ourselves. Living in accordance to our own nature, our own truths and finding sustainability through honour, it naturally results in service to the world – that same world that tries to rail against our truth! The cycle is ever flowing, and we work in service to the truth and the world in equal measure. That is where we find the most balance and harmony. That is what makes it so special, as well as bloody hard work sometimes.

 
Truth. Honour. Service. Three words; three concepts that are inextricably linked to each other, like beautiful Celtic knotwork.

 
Beltane blessings,
Jo.x

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Beltane and bluebells

We headed off across the field, flowers in our hair, to find the bluebell woods at Beltane. Some of us had seen them before; the others were in for a big surprise.

As we neared the gate, the scent of the blossom floated on the breeze, and a haze of purple/blue could be seen. As we passed through, we simply stood and stared at the thick, lush carpet of flowers that covered the entire floor of the little wood. This place was special.

We walked on, talking of faeries and bending down to touch and smell those flowers next to the path. Bees buzzed past, and the greening canopy of leaves overhead whispered in the breeze of the coming summer. We made our way to a little faery knoll, where there was a space of grass and where we could do the first half of our ritual without fear of crushing any of the tiny, precious flowers.

We sat, and prayed to the spirits of the wood. They welcomed us with open arms, a gentle hug of affirmation. We proceeded with our ritual, honouring the gods, the ancestors the four quarters, the three realms. We spoke of our own fires within, of what sparked our passion in life. Our words were witnessed by the circle of present, and all else around us, both seen and unseen.

We then made our offerings and closed down the ritual, heading back to the house. Once there, we lit the twin fires in the backyard, and drummed the energy into being. With drums pounding, we each took our turn walking between the fires, letting their heat and energy fill our souls with the song of flames and smoke, of fuel and light, of love, sex and passion. We let the flames purify our souls, and released what we had held onto all winter that was unnecessary. Once the flames died down, we then jumped the fires, some with skirts held high, with joy in our hearts and smiles on our faces.

The fires burned lower, and we walked once again between the two fires, to be smudged by twin bearers of mugwort, who lit their bundles in the flames and swept them all over our bodies. There was laughter and thoughtfulness, and we then sat down around the fires for the next part of our ritual.

We had prepared words of love; words of love that we wished someone would write or say to us. We wrote love poems to ourselves, with words honouring the fact that love must first come from within. We shared the poems and words with laughter and with tears, and then burned the papers in offering to the spirits. We then stood, delighting in an energy shower/chant that one of our group taught to us on the spot, and then we did a drum healing for all.

All in all, it was the most blessed Beltane ritual that I have ever had the pleasure of attending. This year feels so…. it just feels so much more. Things are happening. Things are moving, changing. The gods are calling, the woods beckon, the fire of light and life ignites in our souls. Welcome summer.

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Relationship and worship

Within any relationship there is a give and take, an exchange of energy that flows, spiralling in and out and around, up and down and out and through. Within some practices of paganism, and dependent upon the individual, there can be too much one-sidedness in their relationship with deity, the spirits of place, the ancestors, etc. Often this is the individual asking or petitioning other powers all the time, or simply taking without giving anything in return. Sometimes it is the other way around, where a devotee gives and gives but is reluctant to ask for anything in return. I tend to fall into this latter category all too often.

My life, my rituals, my energy is utterly devoted to the land, the gods and the ancestors. They are my inspiration, they are my connection to the awen. I do not know what I would do now without them. As such, I let them know that they are honoured with daily prayers and devotions, in ritual work and in secular work. Their inspiration sings deep within my soul, feeding my own creativity and actions.

In ritual especially, I find it difficult to ask for anything. I am aware that so many people in our modern society, and indeed within paganism itself, take and take without giving anything in return. I am paranoid that I will fall into that category; that I should I ask for anything I will be lumping myself in with those who take advantage of the beautiful energy of a place, or who bother their gods, or who work magic without forethought.

I know that it is silly, even ridiculous to think this sometimes. However, I think that it also keeps me in check, keeps my ego in check, and allows me to remember my place within the web. I am a part of the tapestry, not separate, and therefore everything that I do affects the whole. Yet I can be so afraid sometimes to move some threads, to take some energy that lies within their warp and weft that perhaps my own colour fades, or becomes too thin. Reciprocity works both ways.

I am uncomfortable asking for things in ritual or in prayer. Why should this be? In my relationship with my partner, I am not afraid to ask for the things I need, for I know that good communication is key to any relationship. I need to understand, to really see and feel this truth in my relationship to the land, the ancestors and the deities as well.

Perhaps it is because they are so much bigger than I am – I am but a drop in the ocean. Yet I am still part of the ocean, whose power lies in its collective drops of water, singing and blending with the songs of wind and rain and sun. I can call upon that power for I am that power, and that power is me. I am a leaf on a tree and the tree itself – there is no separation. My gods live within me as much as they exist without. Separation is nothing but illusion.

Perhaps this is what some pagans have an aversion to when they consider the term “worship”. Taken from the Old English weorthscipe, it is the value of something – what it is worth to the individual. Weorth – worth, and scipe – condition. Worship is not bowing and grovelling before the gods, as some may perceive it to be – it is judging the worth of something in order to be able to fully relate to it. I hold my gods, the land and the ancestors in high esteem and therefore they are worthy of my attention. What I need to realise is that perhaps I too am worthy of their attention.

I’m working on it…

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Reblog: Peace – Knowing When to Speak Out and When to Keep Silent

This is a reblog from my latest post at SageWoman Magazine’s channel, on Witches and Pagans: for the full article click HERE

This past week I have had to hold my tongue. Sometimes it felt like I was holding my tongue so hard all I could taste was blood.

A few people have told me that I should have spoken up, said my piece right there and then, never holding back. However, what I have learned in my own life experience and in my Druid path is that there is time to speak up, and a time to hold your tongue. It all relates to one word – peace.

It has often been said that the Druids were not only the political advisors and religious authority to the Celts, but that they were also the peacemakers within society. They had the power to walk between the battle lines without being harmed, such was their honouring of the notion of peace and their own personal authority and control. As a student of Zen Buddhism as well as Druidry, I have come to know the concept of peace from another worldview that blends in beautifully with what I hold to be true in my path.

Peace is when there is no need. Peace is when we are able to step outside of our ego and relate to the world with loving kindness. Peace is when we are able to find compassion, both for ourselves and for others.

Peace and truth are inexorably entwined within the Druid tradition. Only when we have discovered the nature of truth are we able to find peace. Truth is our natural place in the world, in its cycles and rhythms, the flow of life itself. It is in the riding of the currents of awen that we come to know truth in all its forms. When we know truth, we find peace…

Continued HERE

 

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Reblog: Women in Druidry

This is a reblog from my post on SageWoman’s channel at Witches and Pagans…

Emma Restall Orr

Within Paganism, there appear to be an equal number of women and men in leadership roles. One of the most popular Druids today is Emma Restall Orr, one of the most popular Wiccans is Starhawk. Heathenry has Galina Grasskova and Diana L Paxon. There are countless others in all pagan paths and traditions that stand alongside the men in equal roles of leadership, teaching and more.

We know historically that there were female Druids, often termed as Druidesses. The Greeks and Romans were fascinated by Celtic society, so very different to their own when it came to power women held in their everyday lives. Yet we have snippets; tantalising few extracts from those who decided to include women in their accounts of Celtic society, whether they were from Greece, Rome or followers of subsequent Christian faiths.

Druidry may have suffered more than most when it comes to an overtly and also subverting taint of patriarchy over equality. This has much to do with the 18th and 19th century Revivalists, who were operating out of a culture and society in Western Europe that held women back from all kinds of authority positions. All the artwork we see from this period show older, mostly bearded men in togas occasionally swanning about collecting mistletoe or performing ritual sacrifice. Women are noticeably absent from these paintings and drawings. In the writing that we have, taken from other patriarchal cultures such as Rome and the latter Christian faith, the absence of women is again noted. We have to look deep within the stories to find out what the real role of women was in a particular myth, for example…

To read more, please click HERE