Welcome, and thank you!

I would just like to take this opportunity to welcome all the new followers to this blog, and to thank all the readers – it really is very enjoyable writing, and hearing from you!  I have learned so much in the authorship of this blog, and I am grateful for the opportunity to share it with you. Long may it continue. x

Awen blessings!

Jo

Binge Drinking in the LARP Community – All in good fun?

Binge-drinking is a real problem in Live Action Role-Play culture (LARP).  It reasons are many and varied, but in this blog post I will try to understand why it is such an issue, and ask what we can do about it to ensure that LARP systems retain the integrity and inspiration that so many hard-working people have put the hours in to make it a great hobby.

In my fifteen years of LARPing, I have seen a lot of things.  I have seen brilliant behaviour and deplorable behaviour.  I have been utterly inspired by the creativity of the human race, and utterly despairing of their attitudes towards others.  Within any large public gathering, there is bound to be a wide variety of people – some lovely,  some not so much.  It is unavoidable.  There are certain rules about behaviour, and the social norms that must be adhered to at all times.  Illegal drugs are still illegal, for instance.  However, the issue of alcohol rears its ugly head each and every time. Alcohol seems to receive a special leniency at LARP events, I feel, much as it does on Friday and Saturday nights in any city.

I’m no saint.  I have gotten drunk at LARP events myself.  It’s really, really easy to get drunk.

Again, the reasons are legion, but I’d like to point out one that seems to me to be the most common.  We are gathered together, most of us strangers, from all over the country, and even from all over the world.  Different backgrounds mean for sometimes awkward first encounters. Not everyone is socially adept when meeting new people.  This can be at LARP events, or in bars, pubs and clubs on the High Street – the initial meeting of another soul can be frightening.  Many, many people think that alcohol can help alleviate the awkwardness of that social interaction – they believe that it makes them more open, more talkative, more genial than they would otherwise be. This is one of the biggest myths about alcohol – it doesn’t make you do anything you wouldn’t otherwise do.  It can impair your motor skills to the point of unconsciousness, but it can’t make you do something you don’t want to do. Kate Fox wrote a very interesting article for the BBC that really struck a chord with me. In it, she stated:

“In high doses, alcohol impairs our reaction times, muscle control, co-ordination, short-term memory, perceptual field, cognitive abilities and ability to speak clearly. But it does not cause us selectively to break specific social rules. It does not cause us to say, “Oi, what you lookin’ at?” and start punching each other. Nor does it cause us to say, “Hey babe, fancy a shag?” and start groping each other.” Viewpoint: Is the Alcohol Message All Wrong? BBC website

I can only speak for British LARP events, as I have not been to any in other countries. But I have noticed that the “typically” reserved British character can rely heavily on alcohol at these events in order to cope socially. It’s not unusual to see any character walking around the field with a bottle of booze in their hands – and we’re not talking a normal bottle of beer. We’re talking a wine bottle, or   bottle of mead that they are swigging from. I’ve been there. I’ve done it. I’ve seen it time and again.  It’s not acceptable to walk down the street in this manner is this country, but acceptable here at an event.  It’s a private event, so some of the social norms don’t apply.

This reliance on alcohol for these social situations is a complete fabrication, however. You don’t need it – you just think you do. It’s a psychological matter, and it’s a complete fabrication, as Ms Fox states.

“The British and other ambivalent drinking cultures believe that alcohol is a disinhibitor, and specifically that it makes people amorous or aggressive, so when in these experiments we are given what we think are alcoholic drinks – but are in fact non-alcoholic “placebos” – we shed our inhibitions.

We become more outspoken, more physically demonstrative, more flirtatious, and, given enough provocation, some (young males in particular) become aggressive. Quite specifically, those who most strongly believe that alcohol causes aggression are the most likely to become aggressive when they think that they have consumed alcohol.

Our beliefs about the effects of alcohol act as self-fulfilling prophecies – if you firmly believe and expect that booze will make you aggressive, then it will do exactly that. In fact, you will be able to get roaring drunk on a non-alcoholic placebo.”

On the Friday night of most LARP events is when the binge drinking it at its worst.  People know they don’t have to drive home the next day (most would still be over the limit) and so they drink recklessly.  It’s often hard to know just how much you have consumed, and just what you have consumed while sitting around a fire at night when three different bottles are being passed around.  In the last ten years I have been quite careful about what I drink at these events, and have felt stigmatised at times by refusing the bottle.  There is a lot of social pressure as well to “fit in”.

For first-timers I am especially afraid.  I have known many, and have kept an eye (and both eyes) out for them when they seem to have reached their limit and beyond.  All manner of things can happen, and I’ve heard horror stories from men and women at these events – such as attempted rape.  I have helped a stranger wandering lost around the tents, to his own tent when he was so blind drunk he was defying gravity – if he fell he would have missed the ground.  I also had to deal with the scary situation of him thinking that by helping him I wanted to have sex with him.  Thankfully his motor skills were so impaired that it was easy to dodge that bullet, but it doesn’t make it acceptable in any shape or form.  I have seen women throwing up in toilets, in all manner and stages of dress wandering about and falling over.  I do what I can to help people in that state, but there are so many that it becomes an epidemic, a vast tide that I can do nothing about, especially on a Friday night. Friday night is usually the first night of an event, the first time that you may see old friends since the year before or the previous event.  It is usually a time of celebration. It always, in my experience, ends in a drunken mess. Retiring to your tent early is the only option of avoiding it, which if you’ve paid for the event doesn’t seem right.

I think more awareness of the dangers that binge drinking contain should be made at these events. Some events are adult only – over 18s. Others allow families. I have seen all manner of drunkenness at both – from the eighteen year old who’s first time it is to roleplay (and first time to get drunk), to the children dodging the weaving drunken man stumbling from the tavern.   I think that tighter controls should be placed – at certain events there are very strict regulations regarding illegal drugs, sex offences and other crimes, but drunkenness is quite acceptable.  I just don’t understand it.

People can get very seriously hurt at these events through binge drinking.  It is everyone’s personal responsibility to watch how much they drink, but equally it is everyone’s responsibility to ensure that every person is treated with respect and has a good time. We are all paying customers, after all.  I pay for the event and I don’t want to feel pressured to drink, or fear for my safety.  I don’t want to have to care for people who are in such a state and yet I cannot refuse to help them – they are in need.  I fear for women who could easily become targets for sexual predators. I fear for the message we send to children at these events.  I fear for men who feel pressured to drink in order to keep up with their peers.

How can we raise this issue within the LARP community? How can we make it better for all involved?  How can we bring awareness of this problem to event organisers and to customers alike? How can we be taken seriously when it is only “all in good fun”?

Life skills and Druid values

A great post by Nimue on personal value within community and society in general…

Nimue Brown's avatarDruid Life

There are a lot of things I’m good at. I can bake and brew, I’m good with textiles and at all manner of make do and mend techniques. I can tell different kinds of wood apart, even from bits lying on the ground and I know how to use them; what can be burned and what cannot, and how to make a fire. I can make a blanket, mend a sock, cook a meal from scratch over an open fire, I have a wealth of stories and songs to keep the people around me amused, and a grasp of first aid. I am good at problem solving and at reasoning things out. During most of human history, this skills base would have stood me in really good stead, making me a valuable part of any community. Not so now.

Our ideas about what is a useful and valuable contribution have…

View original post 509 more words

Slow Down…

teaSlow down.

This little phrase may not only save your life, but can continue to make your life a lot easier.  I’ve been slowing down a lot this year, saying “no” to many things, acknowledging that there is already enough on my plate.  I’m taking time to simply be, to be in the moment, to stop the running around and to well and truly live.

Slowing down, physically, (and mentally, as a result – thoughts eventually stop racing around in your mind when your body slows down) can bring new joys in an otherwise missed-out world.  Eat your breakfast mindfully, slowly. Drink your tea mindfully, slowly.  Drive your car mindfully, slowly.  Just try these three things for the first week and you will notice a distinct improvement in how you feel. It’s amazing how changing small habits can have such a grand effect.

Eating and drinking too quickly, unaware of your food, can lead to stomach upsets, food waste, and over-eating just to name a few things.  Driving too quickly can result in loss of control of your car, and ultimately your life or the life of another.  Taking the time to really be in the moment of these “little” things, these everyday things, can bring a new awareness and gratitude for the small pleasures in life.

Feel the consistency of your breakfast banana, really smell it, touch it, run your fingers over it before you even peel it and begin eating.  Be thankful that you have that banana to eat. Savour each mouthful, chewing slowly, swallowing purposefully – it may sound silly, but just try it.  Drink your tea in beautiful china cups, taking the time to brew it carefully in a teapot, aware of every movement of your body as you do so.  Pour the tea with full awareness.  Raise the cup, feel the smooth porcelain on your lips just before the warm liquid dances on your tongue.  Be thankful that you have tea.  Touch your car before getting into it.  Sit down gracefully, feeling your body in the seat.  Start the engine mindfully, and drive with total awareness of the steering wheel beneath your hands, the road beneath the tires.  Be thankful that you have a car.

By slowing down you will may find yourself less stressed when you get to work, or when you arrive back home from work.  We are not meant to live under the constant stress that our everyday lives present us when we live un-mindfully.  By taking a few moments to slow down, to become aware of where we are and what we are doing, we can help heal and restore the balance in our lives.

Friday Foodies – Breakfast smoothie

My favourite breakfast smoothie:-

1/2 pint of orange juice, 1 banana, handful of frozen berries, all mixed together in a blender. Simples!

Matriarchal or Patriarchal ideal? The utopian myth…

(Reblogged from my channel at SageWoman)

I’ve often read that is it due to a male-dominated, patriarchal culture that the world is in such a mess, with war, power games, aggressiveness and other such “male” attributes to blame. I would posit, with respect and a little humour, that these people have never introduced two new female cats to each other…

In a female dominated world, things might be just the same. They might be different. A matriarchal culture might be the utopian ideal – it might also be pure hell.  As an egalitarian, I would hope to one day live in a world where everyone and everything was treated with the respect according to each individual’s nature.  Perhaps it is the animist inherent in me – I see all things as having their own relevant value, whatever the physical form it is that they take. The eastern tradition of Buddhism and Zen also teaches of awakening deep compassion for all things, which to me is a developing a greater understanding of the bigger picture, and living from a less ego-centric worldview. 

Wicca is often based on the polarity between male and female.  Yet for me the focus in my spirituality is in relationship, and human nature is so much more than fitting something phallic into a hole.  I find that I hold both anima or animus within my soul – simply because I have breasts and a vagina does not mean that I can only have one within me.  I also truly believe that there is no such thing as an opposite – just look at the misinterpretation of life and death as being opposites.  Death is a singular event, life is ongoing. As such, birth is the opposite of death. Life has no opposite.

I am often perplexed by the vision that there was a previous matriarchal culture that was the ideal.  This can in no way be proven to have existed as yet, however people still cling to this belief. I ask myself why – why would they think that a matriarchal culture would be better? Could it be that anything would be better than what we have now? Does that devalue a matriarchal culture? Does it simply bring the utopian dream crashing to the hard ground of reality?

What I would hope for is that one day people will treat each other with honour and respect. Not only human to human interaction, but this planet as a whole.  That dreams and visions of a utopian culture dissolve into the wondrous reality of the here and now, and the realisation of the beauty of this very moment.  In the dropping of our ego-centric way of life, and our anthropocentric ways.  No matter what our gender. x

The Little Pagan Monastery Retreat

We’ve got our weekend retreat coming up! 11 – 13 April, Chalice Well Gardens, Glastonbury, UK

Experience a weekend filled with devotion to the gods, the land and the ancestors – with prayer, meditation, discussion and ritual, as well as visiting sacred sites such as Glastonbury Tor and the White Spring on this unique retreat, The Little Pagan Monastery.  Stay at Chalice Well & gardens, at Little St Michaels where you will have 24 hour access to one of Albion’s most sacred places during your stay.  Incorporate daily prayer and ritual into your life, make new friends and enjoy some time spent away in an inspirational setting with like-minded people.

To book, please visit: The Little Pagan Monastery

Little Pagan Monastery Itinerary

Friday
5pm onwards – arrivals
6pm – Welcome talk
6.30pm – Supper
8pm – Evening prayer and group meditation
9pm – Free time

Saturday
7.30am – Morning personal meditation
8am – Morning Prayers and group meditation
9am – Breakfast
10.30 am – Discussion
12 noon – Midday prayers and group meditation
1pm – Lunch
2.30pm – Glastonbury Tor walk and meditation
5pm – Free time/gardening work
6pm – Supper
7.30pm – Discussion
9pm – Evening prayers

Sunday
7.30am – Morning personal meditation
8am – Morning Prayers and group meditation, followed by ritual
9am – Breakfast
10.30 am – White Spring visit
12 noon – Midday prayers and group meditation
1pm – Lunch
2.30pm – Farewell

Living Meditation

sleeping_fox_by_krankeloon-d3d8695

(Photo credit: Les Piccolo)

It’s funny how I was just thinking about getting enough sleep this morning and then I came across Leo’s latest blog.

Meditation can be especially hard if we haven’t had enough sleep.  Sleep is so important to many things in our live – from motor skills to regeneration of new cell tissue.  Yet how often do we ignore the signs that we need more sleep, or are unable to meet the demands that our body requires due to the nature of our lives?

Sometimes when I’m meditating I find that my eyes are closing, and my head is falling to my chest. At that point, I give up on meditation and, if it’s not in the evening, have a lie down and a nap (or otherwise just go to bed). I too have tried to get up early in order to meditate, but dance rehearsals and classes at night often equate to a sluggish morning while my body is still recuperating from the exercise. Meditating afterwards is not possible, for I am just too tired.  The best time of day for me to meditate is around 3 – 5pm, however this is not always possible. Yet I still try to meditate every day, in some form, preferably sitting still so that my mind stills even as my body stills.

People with young children often live a life of perpetual sleep-deprivation.  There is a Zen story about a mother who berated herself for not having the time to spend in meditation as she was too busy looking after her child. A Zen monk told her that looking after her child was her meditation – as long as she was fully aware of the moments she had with her child.

Meditation is much more than just sitting on a cushion focusing on the breath, or pondering a problem, journeying within our minds or chanting mantras while holding our hands in mudras.  Meditation is life – all that we need do is to bring a conscious awareness to our lives in order to achieve this.

When I am at work, if I am focused on the work, aware of my surroundings and my reactions to situations, then I am meditating.  When I am driving to or from the office, absorbed in the driving itself, I am meditating. When I am at home from work and finding the time to sit on my zafu and focus on my breath, my thoughts and my feelings; then I am meditating. When I am washing the dishes in full awareness, I am meditating. When I am stroking the cat and listening to her purr, I am meditating.  When I am doing yoga, focusing on the postures, transitions and breath, I am meditating. When I am dancing, aware of every movement in my own body and my fellow dancers, I am meditating.

We often say that we do not have the time to meditate in our busy lives. If we simply cannot squeeze in even ten minutes a day for sitting meditation, we can always make our lives a living meditation. The choice is ours.

Name Change Successful!

We have successfully changed the blog name and URL, and it would appear from the statistics that everyone came along with us for the ride – woo hoo! We’re pleased as punch over here.

If you have linked to this blog from your own, either in a blog post link or in the blogroll, the site redirection will take people to this new site.  However, if you would like to update the name and URL manually in your blogroll, please do – we would like to reflect the new name here and get the word out as smoothly and swiftly as we can.

We would also like to take this opportunity to thank all of our followers and subscribers who have been along with us for this wonderful journey – long may it continue!

J.x