goddess

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The Little Pagan Monastery Weekend

945363_640774059272919_940773617_nI don’t think any of us expected the deeply moving and transformative powers that awaited us on our weekend of the Little Pagan Monastery Retreat.

Held over the weekend of 11 – 13 April 2014, we stayed for two nights at Little St Michael’s, the Companions’ Retreat House for Chalice Well and Gardens. I knew that staying and sleeping in such a sacred spot would be the basis for challenging soul work. We had 24 hour access to the gardens, which was a special blessing after hours, when we had it all to ourselves. The chance to meditate, pray and create ritual at the Red Spring was truly unique. It opened our souls to the very special power of the Vale of Avalon, wherein the Goddess was present in everything.

We walked the spiral path up the Tor, feeling the strong energies push and pull us in every direction as the wind whipped around us. We climbed the Tor twice that weekend, the second time to watch the sunrise. The mists of Avalon swirled around us as we may our ascent in the hour before sunrise, and settled over the Somerset levels in thick, low banks of cloud that seemed to shine with their own inner light. The sun rose from behind the far hills, a red-orange disc of flame that filled the soul with such joy it felt like we would burst with it.

A private visit to the White Spring later that day resulted in a very moving ritual, wherein participants immersed themselves in the sacred waters of the large, dark mirror pool. Souls were awakened, energy bursting forth from the dark womb of the waters and new journeys began for everyone.

The days followed a routine of morning, noon and evening prayers and meditation. Together we created a group prayer to be recited at these times.

We give thanks for this day

May awen and peace flow our way

In honour of this land we pray

Some participants had powerful dreams, which was likely to happen in such a sacred power spot. The lodging itself was incredible – a 400 year old building filled with such peaceful energy. We had the meeting room as well, a beautiful open space filled with light where we gathered for discussions and group work. The kitchen and dining room were huge – how many kitchens have a vesica pisces symbol in the floor?

All in all, this weekend was one that I shall remember for the rest of my life. What we learned from this weekend we will take into our lives wherever we may be, and use the wisdom of Avalon to nourish, strengthen and sustain us in all that we do. We prayed that Avalon itself was blessed in return by our love and devotion to the sacred spirits, and we look forward to returning as soon as we can.

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Elen – The Wild Spirit

This is a reblog from my channel at SageWoman. Photo credit: Keeper of the Forest, by Rania Maria

elen1

She is with me – I can feel Her as soon as I step out the door.  She calls to me, she pulls me further away from the houses of humanity, deeper into the wilds; the windswept heath, the dark forest, the bright birch glades.  I smile and answer her call with a song in my heart, my footsteps getting lighter and lighter as I head out to meet Her. I walk taller, with more grace, my body flowing and moving without the restrictions that are usually placed upon it.  I feel an almost eldritch tingling in my blood – the awen is awakened.

My sense of self fades away, sloughing off in evanescent shades flowing behind me to melt into nothingness.  I blend in with my surroundings – wearing faded greens and browns but also my personal space, my nemeton, dissolving into the land around me. This dissolution, this immersion in the landscape brings me closer to Her.

Each step is a sacred prayer.  Gentle, aware, heel rolling to toe, I feel the earth beneath my feet.  This land is holy ground.  The air is sweet, tinged with scents of Spring and I see it reflected in the budding narcissus, the already blooming crocus.  The birds have changed their songs to those that speak of warmth and sunshine, soft rains and the greening.

My joy in Her flows out of me and back inwards in an endless cycle.  That joy is a quiet joy – there is no need to shout, no need for a fuss.  It is pure, it is simple. It is utter awareness of the present moment, and the present moment is all that there is.

I look into the shadows beneath a stand of low pines, and there they are – her children.  A small herd, of about a dozen, lie beneath the darkened canopy where no footpaths lie.  Here they can rest undisturbed.  I greet them ever so softly with my mind – I do not enter into myself to do this – it is merely an honouring and acknowledgement of their beauty without breaking the immersion in the present moment.

I continue on, blessed by the gift of seeing her children.  I know that I will see more.  I know too that I am of Her, related to Her, to her children.  She is within me and I am within her. The deer are within me and I am within them.  I only have to open my awareness to this to see the brilliance of this blessed gift. So simple, so easy.

The sunlight is warm upon my skin, the breeze is cool, playing with my hair and scarves, making them dance in the wind.  I come to a very special place, and there they are – a herd seventy strong.  They see me and wait – I wait also, allowing them the first move.  The leaders are then startled by something, and they run across the open grassland from forest cover to the cover of brush, all in a line, along a sacred trackway that they have made over hundreds of years.  This is Her trackway, and I watch with soaring spirit as they follow the flow of spirit across the heath.

I go to the birch trees to offer my greetings and leave a gift – a brilliant white egg-shaped stone I found amongst the heather.  I then make my way back across the heath, coming across the trackway that cuts the green sward in half.  I can still feel their energy – their silent, swift energy running towards the pine trees and dried bracken.  As I cross that line, I feel it moving through me, and I swirl it through my soul before letting it run free again along the deer path.  I am filled with golden light.

I can feel Her eyes upon me, watching from the forest edge.  Her antlered head is thrown back with laughter, Her green eyes dancing even as my soul dances.  Silently she shares in my joy and I in Hers, and then she disappears.

I make my way back towards home – there are a couple of deer hidden among the brush near to one of the paths I wish to take. I do not want to startle them – I choose another path.  Moving along the forest edge I look up, and see the large herd again, this time ghosting through the trees, running silently and swiftly between the beech trunks, flashes of light and darkness.  I bend down where I stand and bring my hands to the rich mossy ground.  Looking down, my pale skin shines silver-white in the light against the vibrant green of the soft carpet, as if moonlight, not sunlight shone upon them.  I close my eyes and breathe deep into the earth, giving of myself to Her.

Making my way homewards, I am always loathe to leave Her sacred ground.  She is always within my heart, and always within my spirit – a sense of wildness, of laughter and play, of wariness and strength.  She is muted when indoors, but She is there, deep within my soul even as I greet my Lady of Sanctuary upon entering the home. She smiles and reaches out to her Sister, Nemetona, the Lady of the Sacred Grove.

She is Elen, the wild goddess.  I honour Her with all that I am.

To find out more about my writing, please visit my author page at Amazon, where you will details on my books such as The Book of Hedge Druidry as well as The Path of the Hedge Witch. 

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Sanctuary, Compassion and Freedom

We all need a little sanctuary in our lives. A place where we can let down our walls, let the barriers fall and simply be ourselves, wrapped in the security and safety of knowing that we are held.  My patron goddess, Nemetona, provides me with many opportunities to savour this precious moment, and to help create it for others.  She is the Lady of Holding, of Sacred Space, of Sanctuary.

Often when we meet others, especially human beings, our walls shoot up if they haven’t already been erected, and we are on the defensive.  We regard others warily, perhaps even as enemies; guilty until proven innocent.  A certain wariness around strangers makes sense – it’s an innate human instinct that we also see reflected elsewhere in the animal kingdom.  It is a form of self-preservation.  However, what I would posit is that we become so used to keeping those walls up, that we barricade ourselves inside our selves, unable to see the bigger picture, unable to truly experience compassion.

I am not saying that we should allow others to do as they will to us – wilfully harming another person in any way is completely wrong.  So often when I speak of compassion, people think it is an open invitation to be trod upon, to be used and abused by those who would seek to take advantage of us.  Instead, I try to explain the ideas of compassion, and also of engaged Buddhism – simply put, compassion is about trying to understand, to see around our own sense of self into the bigger picture. Engaged Buddhism is being active in a world to stop suffering, to speak up against violence and injustice and work to spread love and compassion.

My Lady Nemetona helps me with this.  By coming into her sacred embrace, I find that I remember what it is like to be open, to be held, to be free in utter sanctuary.  Thus inspired, I try to find ways to bring that inspiration out into the wider world, making it a better place.  When we are held, when we are free to be our true selves, we also provide the opportunity for awen, for inspiration, to fill our souls with joy and wonder at the simplicity of simply being.  We can then become a conduit for this energy, bringing about positive change in the world, even in the midst of suffering.

Working with Nemetona, we become aware of our boundaries, when we erect them and when we let them dissolve. We also see how we involuntarily create barriers, whether it is in our energetic fields, our communication, or our perception.  Through meditation and work with this particular goddess, I have found a way of both strengthening my inner sanctuary, thereby being able to let down those walls and openly experience situations with complete awareness.  In this, intention is key.

By being open, I am also being receptive to input that might otherwise pass me by through my own ego-centric mindlessness.  By working with sanctuary, I can see where I have lapsed and allowed others to abuse my trust, and where I will never allow that to happen again.  By being aware of how, why and who we engage with, and with what intention, we can change how we react to situation, acting with intention instead of a more reactionary type of living.  By becoming engaged with my boundaries, I am aware of when I need to strengthen or release them as appropriate.

It’s been a tough ride, sometimes, working with this goddess and with compassion.  It has shown me where I have failed so many times in the past.  Understanding and awareness of those failures, however, is not there to deter me; they are there to remind me, lessons learned and opportunities for further growth.  The key to working with boundaries and compassion, and indeed Nemetona Herself, lies in awareness – of the self, of others and of the world at large.  It’s not an easy path, but one well worth walking. It can lead us down the shadowy paths in the long dark night of the soul, but we can emerge into the light of the sacred forest grove, whether it be dappled sunlight, pale moonlight or starshine.  In that emergence lies our true nature, inspired by nature and surrounded by our natural sanctuary.

In that emergence lies our freedom.

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The Little Pagan Monastery Retreat

We’ve got our weekend retreat coming up! 11 – 13 April, Chalice Well Gardens, Glastonbury, UK

Experience a weekend filled with devotion to the gods, the land and the ancestors – with prayer, meditation, discussion and ritual, as well as visiting sacred sites such as Glastonbury Tor and the White Spring on this unique retreat, The Little Pagan Monastery.  Stay at Chalice Well & gardens, at Little St Michaels where you will have 24 hour access to one of Albion’s most sacred places during your stay.  Incorporate daily prayer and ritual into your life, make new friends and enjoy some time spent away in an inspirational setting with like-minded people.

To book, please visit: The Little Pagan Monastery

Little Pagan Monastery Itinerary

Friday
5pm onwards – arrivals
6pm – Welcome talk
6.30pm – Supper
8pm – Evening prayer and group meditation
9pm – Free time

Saturday
7.30am – Morning personal meditation
8am – Morning Prayers and group meditation
9am – Breakfast
10.30 am – Discussion
12 noon – Midday prayers and group meditation
1pm – Lunch
2.30pm – Glastonbury Tor walk and meditation
5pm – Free time/gardening work
6pm – Supper
7.30pm – Discussion
9pm – Evening prayers

Sunday
7.30am – Morning personal meditation
8am – Morning Prayers and group meditation, followed by ritual
9am – Breakfast
10.30 am – White Spring visit
12 noon – Midday prayers and group meditation
1pm – Lunch
2.30pm – Farewell

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Riding the Tides of Perimenopause

Re-blogged from my channel at SageWoman:

SistersRiding the tides of perimenopause, I find that my sense of self, ideas and concepts that I held about myself are shifting like pebbles on a shingle beach, never in the same place twice, forming new solid banks and spits jutting out into the vastness of the ocean.  I live right on the coast of the North Sea, and am finding inspiration and a sense of kinship with the ocean that I have never felt before.

Swells and surges of emotion run through me as hormones find their way to the balance point in the dance of change and impermanence.  My body is changing, the elasticity in my skin fading, laughter lines showing, cellulite appearing in new places.  The curves in my body are becoming softer, gently changing over time.  My breasts sometimes ache as my body tries to find a new way of being.  Periods are nearer to each other, sometimes only two weeks apart, sometimes light, other times so heavy I cannot leave the house.  Sometimes I feel like I did in my teenage years, without the skin breakouts!

It’s not only my body changing – emotions run deeper than ever before.  Awareness of the emotions keeps them in check, allowing myself to truly feel them without too much attachment.  They are sometimes like a knife, cutting through the dross to reveal the jewel beneath; instinct and empathy allowing me to connect with the world on a much deeper level than previously imagined.

My attachments to my body are also becoming less and less.  I am ever thankful for this healthy body, that can dance and run and sing with abandon.  Thoughts about how others relate to me are changing as my body changes. I notice people interacting with me differently – or is it that I am the one who is different?  In our dance troupe, when we are performing, I notice that the attention is gently shifting away from myself to younger ladies in the troupe.  I smile to myself as I notice this, seeing how this makes me feel.  There is a tinge of sadness, as I release the undercurrents of vanity, as well as the newer notes of joy in not being wrapped up in the notions of youth that our culture is so focused upon. My heart goes out to the beautiful young dancers in our troupe, who have to deal with the extra attention.  My soul connects with the beautiful older women in our troupe, whose sense of self pervades a solidity that wholly and utterly inspires me.  I am seeing beauty where I never saw beauty before – it is truly remarkable.

I don’t crave attention in the same way as I used to.  What others think matters a lot less than before.  What does matter is how my life is lived, inspired by the world around me and walked on a path of honour and integrity. I see this reflected in the older women in my life, how comfortable they now appear.  I wouldn’t want to be young again – in looks or age.  I am at home in my body.  Some women are blessed with this from an earlier age, others like me perhaps find it during the hormonal shift. What is important is that we find that stillness within, like a pool of water that becomes clear when all our doubts and worries about our self finally settle, allowing us to mirror the wonder of the heavens.

One beauty is not better or worth more than any other form of beauty – all forms of beauty are simply that- beautiful.  Our soul takes form in our bodies, an impermanent expression of our being.  Learning to love the impermanence allows us to see the beauty in all stages of life and death, growth and decay.  It can allow us to be comfortable with who we are, no matter our age, what condition our bodies are in, what life throws at us.

This latest journey has just begun, and I have to say, I am loving the steps along the way. I breathe with mindfulness and take each step with love and joy even as I feel sadness and release. Life is precious, and impermanent, and in our awareness of impermanence lies our ability to truly live.

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Dancing with Nemetona available for pre-order!

 

Books

dwn smallAvailable for pre-order!

Dancing with Nemetona: A Druid’s Exploration of Sanctuary and Sacred Space

Nemetona is an ancient goddess whose song is heard deep within the earth and also deep within the human soul. She is the Lady of Sanctuary, of Sacred Groves and Sacred Spaces.

She is present within the home, within our sacred groves, our rites and in all the spaces that we hold dear to our hearts. She also lies within, allowing us to feel at ease wherever we are in the world through her energy of holding, of transformation. She holds the stillness and quiet of a perfect day; she is the stillness at the end of it, when the blackbird sings to the dusk. She is the energy of sacred space, where we can stretch out our souls and truly come alive, to be who we wish to be, filled with the magic of potential.

Rediscover this ancient goddess and dance with a Druid to the songs of Nemetona. Learn how to reconnect with this goddess in ritual, songs, chants, meditation and more.

Ellen Evert Hopman, author of Priestess of the Forest says “This lovely volume teaches us how to re-sacralize our life. In a sad and violent world we need to remember to find the sacred within all things; our room, our hearth, our home, our altar, our garden, and our sacred Grove. By doing this, ultimately we will find the sacred within all creatures; animal, mineral, plant and human. This is the lesson of Nemetona, divine protectress of the sacred enclosure, so wonderfully expressed within this book.”

Philip Carr-Gomm, chosen chief of the Order of Bards, Ovates and Druids says “For those of us upon the Druid path, Nemetona is an intriguing goddess. Joanna’s book welcomes us into Nemetona’s sanctuary that we might know her more intimately. With a combination of helpful exercises and the gentle but compelling wisdom born of Joanna’s relationship with this goddess, we discover that the concept of the Grove and the experience of Sacred Space is more rich and complex than we imagined.”

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New book coming out May 2014!

dwn smallMy latest book will be coming out in May 2014 with Moon Books Publishing, as part of their Pagan Portals series. This series is a set of introductory books, usually 25,000 words or less, on a topic that allows the reader to gain an foothold on a subject, and then inspire them to continue to find out more on their own personal journeys. This is the second book I have written for the series, the first being Zen Druidry (see my Books Page for how to buy).

Nemetona is an ancient goddess whose song has flowed from Europe into these isles, humming softly deep within the earth and also deep within the human soul. She is the Lady of Sanctuary, of sacred groves and sacred spaces. Not much has been recorded of her academically – we know of an altar in Bath that was dedicated to her by a Gallic artisan who felt her power and carved her elusive name for us to remember down through the ages.

She is present within the home, within our sacred groves and rites and in all the spaces that we hold dear to our hearts. She also lies within, allowing us to feel at ease wherever we are in the world, through her energy of holding, of transformation. She holds the stillness and quiet of a perfect day, she is the stillness at the end of it, when the blackbird sings to the dusk. She is Sanctuary, where we can stretch out our souls and truly come alive, to be who we wish to be, filled with the magic of potential.

Rediscover this ancient Goddess and dance with a Druid to the songs of Nemetona. Learn how to reconnect with this goddess of sanctuary in ritual, songs, chants, meditation and more.

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Craft Names

Autumn SongWithin Druidry, and indeed in modern Paganism, it is usual to adopt a craft name within your tradition.  It is not necessary, and if you feel that you don’t need one, or one doesn’t appeal, then by all means forego the craft name. However, choosing a craft name, or having one bestowed upon you can enhance your connection to your tradition, if you allow it.

Craft names can provide an air of mystery and magic.  We can choose something that reflects our work, such as Oak Seeker, Coll (hazel, if working with ogham), or Pathfinder.  We can choose something that reflects a part of the environment that we love – Alder, Willow, Rain.  We can put two words together that express a deep part of our soul, or a deep love that we have, such as Gentle Bear, Running Horse, or my craft name – Autumn Song.  We can adopt names of the gods and goddesses that we love, such as Nehalennia, Freya, Lugh, Branwen, Rhiannon, Bridget.  There are also mythological names like Merlin, Morgan and Nimue that might strike a chord deep within our hearts.  We can even choose names from fantasy books that we love – Gandalf, Radagast, Arwen, Goldberry, Eomer, Eowyn, Faramir (all Lord of the Rings names).  What matters most is that our name expresses a deep part of our soul; that when we utter it, write it, exhale it into the twilight it means something to us, connects us to the awen.

You can inscribe your craft name upon your altar, or your tools. You can sign correspondence with it.  You may even change your name to your craft name if you feel that better reflects who you are.  I like having both names, as I can honour my two grandmothers for whom I am named after, and honour my tradition with my craft name. Besides, it took me long enough to learn how to write my own name, and I’m sticking to it…

We might choose our craft name, or we might be gifted it by another. We could meditate, commune with the local spirits of place, or deity, and ask that they bestow us a name. In some magical traditions, a craft name is given upon initiation into the tradition, or upon completion of various grades.  When working alone, we do not have to wait to have a name bestowed upon us – we can seek it out ourselves from whatever inspires us whenever we feel ready.  We can ask our ancestors, our spirit guides, even friends and family for ideas and inspiration.

Our craft names may also change with time.  As we grow and develop in our spirituality, we might find that we outgrow our name, and thereby be inspired to choose another that better suits our current work.  We can include our naming in ceremonies, whether it is our first time or our fifth time in choosing a craft name.  Taking on a name is not something to be done lightly, however.  It requires much thought and meditation if you wish for it to be important to your work.

Whatever name you choose, or however you decide to be named, honour that name with all that you are.  Find ways of being that reflect your name in deep and compassionate ways, working to create peace and harmony in your life and in all life around you.

The Grail Mysteries
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The Grail Mysteries

Reblogged from my channel at SageWoman: My latest blog post for SageWoman… http://www.witchesandpagans.com/SageWoman-Blogs/the-grail-mysteries.html

These past few months I have been delving into Grail stories and mythology, looking for their inner messages and healing stories. I have been working with Jenah Telyndru’s Avalon Within: A Sacred Journey of Myth, Mystery and Inner Wisdom since September, and have just finished reading Jean Shinoda Bolen’s Crossing to Avalon: A Woman’s Midlife Pilgrimage.  There is a lot of resonance and wisdom in both these books, that has opened up my eyes to the Grail stories and also the wisdom of Avalon in ways I never could have dreamt of.

I had always been fascinated by the tales of Arthur and Morgan le Fey since I was a child. Stories of knights riding out on quest, of otherworldly women bestowing kingship, of wizards and wisemen, chivalry and courage and love all held a special place in my heart.  I had always wanted to visit Britain, to see the land that these stories contained – I never thought I would end up living there, but life has its twists and turns.

The Grail Mysteries are utterly fascinating.  What I am currently exploring is the figure of the Grail Maiden, the only one able to handle the blessed object.  Whether she is Pagan or Christian is of little consequence – what matters is that she is the one who is carrying it forth into the world.

The Knights of King Arthur’s court see a vision of the Grail, carried through his Great Hall by a Great Lady – some say Morgan herself, others the Lady of the Lake, or an angel.  This sends them into a frenzied search for the Grail – most of his knights take it upon themselves to find this holy object, winning it for themselves, for salvation or fame, freedom or a connection with the divine feminine. Little is said of the Grail Maiden after this – the attention is all bestowed upon the knights and their quests.

The Grail Maiden appears once again in the tales, when Perceval reaches the Fisher King.  This wounded king is reflected in his kingdom, which is barren wasteland.  Until the King is healed, the land cannot be healed.  What is most interesting is that the Grail is carried through his Court each and every day, and yet he cannot receive its healing properties. Two questions must be asked first in order for the King to be healed – “What ails thee?” and “Whom does the Grail serve?”.  Perceval, in an attempt to appear grand and unaffected, being now a ‘famous Knight of King Arthur’s Court on Quest’, does not question the wound on the King when he sees it, though he does notice it and wonder.  When the Grail is brought through the Court time and again in a repetitive procession throughout dinner, again Perceval ignores it, trying to appear nonchalant. In his refusal to show empathy or compassion, curiosity or care he loses his chance to heal the kingdom and also his chance at the Grail and the Divine Feminine. The Grail and castle disappear the next morning.

So, back to the Grail Maiden – why is it that a woman can only carry this vessel? Many will say that women are natural vessels of the Goddess, and this rings true enough.  In Arthurian tales, women are also the bearers of Sovereignty, also reflected in other tales from the land, such as the Welsh Mabinogian. The vessel is the source of the Divine Feminine, therefore it is fitting that is it borne by a woman. Women bear children, bringing new life into the world (with the help of men, of course). There are certain things that only women can understand through shared stories and life experiences – moon bleedings, bearing children, social and cultural successes and struggles.  The knights on quest are seeking this source of the Divine Feminine, lacking it in their own souls, longing to reach out to the Goddess but unable within the constraints of their religion and their faith.

The quest for the Grail is also an inner quest – it is not all about externally seeking something that is outside our selves. Often the Divine Feminine can be missing from a woman’s life as well.  For reasons too legion to go into here, seeking out a female goddess can be a deep and meaningful way to connect with our own self and, in doing so, other women, humanity and the world at large.

What the knights seems to miss, on the whole, is that the Grail is Woman.  Through honouring Woman as well as Man he can come to bridge the gap, come to know the divine.  It is right there in front of their eyes, but they choose not to see it.  For women, coming to understand our own selves is the forerunner to compassion and empathy not only for our sisters, but everything. In seeing and seeking the Grail within, we can heal our own wounds.  We must also ask ourselves the questions that Perceval did not.

By asking our selves (the separation of the words, instead of writing ourselves is intentional here) “What ails thee?” we take the time to look within, to perhaps explore shadow aspects of ourselves.  Within many Eastern traditions, it is through meditation that we understand our selves better, and also understand and redirect our reactions to the world – ie. instead of simply reacting to an event, we act with intention, with mindfulness and awareness. With the Grail question, we can ask this of our selves as well as others in pretty much any situation, therefore eliminating a reactionary response to a more intentional approach. In doing so, we may just find the healing for our selves and the world that is so needed.

The second Grail question, “Whom does the Grail serve?” invites us to question our intention.  Whether we are experiencing pleasant or unpleasant aspects in our lives, we can ask our selves “who does this serve?”, thereby eliminating that which is no longer necessary, and bringing joy, awe and wonder back into our lives.  With old habits and patterns of behaviour that we wish to be freed from, we can simply ask this question over and over again until we have the answer that is required for spiritual growth.  We can ask this question in every aspect of our lives, from our weekly shopping (in order to make better choices not only for ourselves, but the planet) to our everyday interactions with other people.  If we are making a positive change instead of falling into negative, but comfortable patterns then we are on the road to spiritual progress. Reminding our selves of the Grail questions has been integral to my learning these past few months, becoming a mantra for everyday life.

In a patriarchal culture and society, the loss of the feminine can be devastating, as it was to the knights of the Round Table.  In our quest for wholeness, we can either run around in circles, questing after the Grail through established means, or we can simply look within to gain a better perspective on compassion and the divine, whether it be male or female, or even genderless.  It is the deep exploration within that allows us to bring that knowledge out into the world – we cannot simply spend our lives gazing at our own navels – we must bring the Grail out for the benefit of others. We must offer the gifts of compassion and self-awareness. In this, the Grail Mysteries are best served.

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Working with Kindness

Many religions and spiritualities the world over teach that kindness and compassion is the way to live your life in order the create harmony and peace not only for yourself, but for the rest of the world.  This is a form of service, which I think may be lacking in much of modern paganism.  It is in the service to others where we truly shine.  The Sisterhood of Avalon states it beautifully in a triad – service to the self, service to the Sisterhood and service to the Goddess.  Like most things, it starts from within and then spreads to the wider community and the world at large.  Sadly, perhaps due to the growing number of self-help books and various psychologies, this service tends to stop at the self.  Instant gratification in our capitalist society combined with living in relative ease can allow complacency in our lives and in our minds.  We can become grasping even, wanting to be healed, looking for that one thing or one person who will heal us, as we have been taught my marketing campaigns the world over.  Me, me me. I, I, I.

There seems to be a great need for healing in the world today.  Paganism embraces this healing with open arms, honouring it in all its various forms.  We are often told that we must first heal ourselves before we can heal others. In this, I very much agree.  It’s often the hardest thing to heal yourself – focusing on others is much easier than coming face to face with your own pain, grief, demons or shadow self.  However, we can become too engrossed in looking inwards that we forget to look outwards as well.  Too much self-awareness and not enough external awareness.  It can even border on or become egocentric.

The key here I believe lies in kindness.  Through these last few months, when the darkness of winter takes hold and we are gifted with the time and space to reflect, we can look at how we can be kind to ourselves.  This is the best thing we can do for ourselves in terms of our own healing.  It is easier to forgive others for hurting us, or causing us stress, grief or pain than it is to forgive ourselves for doing things that we regret.  Yet we must look at ourselves in the same light as we do others and be able to forgive ourselves in order to move the service from self to others, through the act of love and kindness.  This is our service to our self.

We have to be aware of our edges – we must create boundaries so that when we allow kindness to flow through us we have an awareness that not everyone will be kind in return.  This is not a shutting down or closing off of the soul to others – it is simply being prepared.  Like meeting a strange dog or cat for the first time, we are unsure as to how they will react, and so we proceed with caution.  We still show compassion and love and try to help them should they need it in any way possible. We will also do all that we can to prevent being bitten. This is our service to others.

I have been too open – I have not guarded my boundaries as well as I should have. I have loved freely and been bitten on the ass in return.  I have learned to use boundaries to let me help myself and to help others.  In Brian Froud’s latest faery oracle card deck, there is a card that I drew called The Lady of Faith.  She wears a helmet and shoulder armour, but her breast is bare of armour and she is leaning towards something with a hand to her heart.  This card shows that we must protect ourselves but still allow our hearts to move us in kindness and compassion.

I recently saw a documentary on Phil Robertson, of Duck Dynasty fame about how he transformed his life through his religion and coming to know God and Jesus.  While we may not share the same religious points of view we can agree that it all comes down to kindness.  He described when he was making a living fishing on the river and other “river rats” would come and steal from his nets.  After he had found Jesus, he worked with the idea of kindness and so, when he caught them stealing again, offered them the fish freely.  They took it and responded to his kindness by never stealing from him again.  Phil stated that he will act towards all things with kindness, but still carry a shotgun in case all things weren’t kind to him.

This is very similar to a Zen Buddhist story, where a monk is sitting and praying in his cave high on the mountaintop. A thief comes upon him and threatens him. The monk looks at the thief and states that if he wanted his possessions so badly, feeling he had to threaten and steal them, then he would freely give them if that was his need.  The thief left bewildered and the monk sat outside, looking up at the moon.  “If only I could have given him this beautiful moon”, he said. (Some argue that the monk should have done a Phil Roberston and had a shotgun as well, but that doesn’t fit in with the peaceful and non-violent ideals that the monk held to.)

Living to our ideals, exploring our shadow aspects (those aspects of the soul that we fear, that we loathe, that we deny) and giving back to the world results naturally in leading the way to the further service to the gods.  We dedicate our lives to kindness and compassion with full awareness and in doing so, reflect the true nature of not only our being, but of being.  For me, the gods that I follow all have an aspect of peace and kindness that we can find in their stories to inspire us along our own life’s journey.  Tyr, most often seen as a god of war and justice, to me also represents kindness to animals and loyalty as when he fed the wolf, Fenris, when no one else would.  Nehelennia, the goddess of the North Sea rages and leaves us with a fresh world – sometimes battered but ever inspired by the impermanence of all things.  Morrighan heals after the battles and rejuvenates after the blood is spilled.  Nemetona teaches of boundaries as well as love and peace.  In this I have dedicated myself to learning and being open to the awen of their songs.

Through coming into our own true potential, we are better able to serve ourselves, our community and our gods.  The key to it all is through kindness.  How very simple, how often this message had been repeated over thousands of years. How easy it is to forget in today’s society.  Yet when we open ourselves to the possibilities and let kindness lead us in our actions, peace and harmony are a natural result.