I made a little video for my Down the Forest Path Video Blog yesterday, about my previous post, “Dealing with Bullies.” Big love to you all!
I made a little video for my Down the Forest Path Video Blog yesterday, about my previous post, “Dealing with Bullies.” Big love to you all!
Bullying in any shape or form, whether in person or online, is a very difficult thing to deal with. I’ve had my fair share of it, with trolling on my social media sites and the occasional personal attack/character defamation (mostly from people whom I’ve never even met). This has again happened to me very recently, and thankfully it’s only the second personal attack that I’m aware of using myself as the subject. It’s a slog to get through it all, and can make you despair at the human race entirely, but I’ve come up with some ways to deal with bullying, which may help you if you ever find yourself in such a situation. If you are in physical danger, please contact the authorities at once. Here are 10 ways you can work through this situation, should you find yourself being bullied in any shape or form.
I hope that this helps, if ever you find yourself in such a situation. If you do, remember that many people have experiences this, and that you are not alone. Get outside, look at the birds flying overhead, the bees in the garden, and notice nature all around you. You are never alone. You are part of something truly beautiful, so do try to focus on that. And have a big, virtual hug from me.
Lately I’ve been thinking about this concept, as I am doing a lot of reading and researching at the moment, and keep coming across this concept is a lot of Wicca/Witchcraft books. While I know that there are many traditions in Witchcraft that do not follow this concept, some do, as well as most (if not all) Wiccans, and it’s got the brain going, considering this concept more deeply and not just taking it for granted.
I don’t think I’ve ever really believed in this concept in the way that most believe. In the threefold law, in many, many sources it states that whatever you do will return to you threefold. In a very simplistic sense, if you do good things, good things will happen, and if you do bad things, bad things will happen. Many sources state that this is rule of karma.
I feel that this is a very odd Western misinterpretation of karma, for starters. As well, I know of plenty of instances and people who do good things, who go through the ringer, and plenty of people who do bad things, and don’t seem to suffer any consequences. (Trump, anyone?) Karma is not a system of reward and punishment. As well, the Hermetic principle of like attracting like can work in this instance, but not in the way that most people would believe. It’s not that simplistic. Note that I use the word simplistic, rather than simple, because there is a huge difference, at least in my opinion. Let me explain.
A lot of magic uses correspondences in order for success, according to the principle of “like attracts like”. This can also work in our daily lives, but it doesn’t mean that doing good things will make good things happen to you, or vice versa. We can’t control reactions to actions on that level. We can try and use magic to persuade a favourable outcome, and when combined with a good ethical stance this would be for the benefit of the whole. But there is a correlation.
I feel that when we do magic, or perform any sort of action whether on the physical or metaphysical level, we affect energy. This for me feels like a more appropriate definition of correspondence. That energy is not only external to us, but will affect us on three levels. Those levels are:
Let’s take an example of cursing someone. If we curse someone, we must be pretty pissed. That anger will have an effect on us at each of these three levels. We know that emotion, memory and other things can get stored in the body, creating tension, stress, high heart rates and more. As well, when we are angry our mental and emotional levels change, and we become the anger if we are not careful. When we become anger, we have lost our sense of self, our authentic being, and have allowed anger to take control. On a spiritual level, anger does not help us to commune with the world, the ancestors, spirits of place, deity or anything in a deeper level. In fact, it can be a great hindrance to it, as integration is at the heart of most spirituality and religion. In an earth-based tradition such as Wicca, Witchcraft or Druidry, where we believe that deity is immanent, this means that when we are angry and curse someone, we do not recognise the divinity within others. When we curse others, we are, in effect, cursing the gods too.
The popular interpretation of The Threefold Law to me feels more like a reward/punishment system to keep people in line, in an overly simplistic fashion. It requires people not to think too much about all the areas in between the concepts of “good” and “bad”, or even how those concepts are so relative to each person and their own experience. It also doesn’t acknowledge the deeper levels of meaning that can occur if we ponder this “rule” more closely. To me, it just seems too close to a heaven/hell concept, which I find too simplistic to give much attention to. Others may disagree, and I honour their perspective, but it just doesn’t work for me.
So, looking more deeply at The Threefold Law, if we do something bad, like cursing someone, then it could be said that on a certain level it comes back to us threefold, but not in the sense that seems to be very popular, ie. do good and good things happen, and vice versa. But if our actions are not honourable, and if we do things to harm other people, we are in turn harming ourselves, our environment, our gods: everything. Harming others causing suffering, both externally and also within in a threefold pattern: we harm our physical, mental and spiritual wellbeing. We’ve lost that connection to everything else, that sense of integrity and integration.
If we curse someone, we affect ourselves physically by holding on to that anger. That affects us mentally, and if our curse does indeed work, might even lead us down the road to more cursing. This leads to a reinforcement of such behaviour, and also reinforces the anger within us, which will make us physically and mentally suffer more and more. We can often fall into a deep depression by holding onto this anger and feeding it, instead of seeing the positive in the world around us. We will become angry people. This all has an effect on us spiritually as well, for we have denied the existence of deity outside of ourselves. This severely limits our perspective of the world, and just continues an ever increasing downward spiral of behaviour that causes suffering both within and without.
So, the Threefold law can affect us in three different ways, but it’s not as simplistic as some would have you believe. It’s simple, yes, but not simplistic. Let’s not get the two muddled!
And, if in doubt, you can always follow this great maxim: don’t be a jerk.
You may have heard of the backlash that Lush are currently suffering due to their most recent campaign, which highlights the invasion of privacy from a police squad set up by the government to spy on British activists. On Friday I read an article in the Guardian of how many on social media are taking to giving the company a one-star rating as a result. Lush are being heavily accused of being “anti-police”, which is absolutely ridiculous to anyone who actually reads the campaign article. LUSH UK are not anti-police. They are simply defending basic human rights. (Read the essay, “Exposing the Spy Who Loved Me“.)
The media took the anti-police spin and ran away with it. The Home Secretary accused Lush of the same, and condemned them. Obviously, no one had read the literature. 30,000 one-star reviews suddenly appeared on Lush’s Facebook account overnight, by people both opposed to Lush and its campaigns, and also those who were previously Lush customers.
This whole episode greatly saddens me, that mob behaviour can act so rapidly, destructively and without thought even in today’s society. Former supporters of Lush who have rated them so poorly and slammed them in social media apparently do not realise that by doing so, they are only supporting those who would silence people and companies like Lush for speaking out. It would be far better to write a thoughtful letter to the company if you disagreed with a policy or a campaign, in order to enable a) dialogue and discussion, and b) a response direct from the company itself.
This form of behaviour on social media is, in my opinion, simply another form of bullying. It’s a different kind of bullying from the norm: it’s more a punishment for someone we may like or dislike, for acting in a certain way. This punishment behaviour is becoming rampant in our society, and I think we really need to look at the reasons why.
When someone acts in a way that we disagree with, we can often wish to stop this behaviour as quickly as possible. I’m seeing a growing trend towards punishing those who don’t act in line with what we desire, lashing out on the easily accessible and rather faceless mass that is social media. One can do so without much repercussion, dialogue or thought. I worry that this behaviour will seep out into face to face interactions as well, where if someone is acting in a way that we disagree with, we will shut them down rather than engage respectfully and honourably with them. We need to be able to see the broader perspective in everything, and to allow someone else’s point of view into the discussion in order for it to not be denigrated into a mere life of solipsism.
But why is there this desire to punish someone who we think is acting out of line, or contrary to our desires? Who made us judge and jury of the world? What elevated power was bestowed upon us that we feel we have every right to punish those who do not agree with us, or whose opinion differs from our own? This is a question which I have pondered these last few days, and to which I’m still forming an answer. I am as guilty as others are of this behaviour in the past, and it’s been a real eye-opener into how to not continue down this path of destruction. When we feel hurt, we lash out and hurt back, creating a never-ending cycle of suffering. We have to break this cycle, somehow, but lately it seems that the odds can be overwhelmingly stacked against us, especially with the ease of social media’s rating system, pressure and bombardment with hashtags, the anonymity of those lashing out and a host of other factors.
It’s my personal opinion that what Lush do in all their campaigns is to be applauded. They are hard-working human and animal rights activists, as well as selling lovely products (some of which I find are far too expensive for a large majority of people, I must admit. Lush are not perfect, but then again, no one is). The fact that the Home Secretary spoke out against this campaign and jumped on that media-spin bandwagon so clearly seems to demonstrate to me the fear behind the exposure of the government’s creation and support of this squad that has invaded people’s privacy, destroyed lives and gone against some basic Human Rights. Lush has a very valid stake in speaking out against this, as many within the organisation are animal rights, women’s rights and human rights activists. The fact that the government are encouraging this false perception makes me think that they are under pressure from their fox-hunting friends, to say the least.
I would very much like to see a world where intentional and thoughtful behaviour becomes the norm, rather than reactive and often damaging, crossing the line into bullying behaviour is actually quite acceptable. It’s far too easy to lash out, and cause a lot of damage to someone, especially on social media. People who have never shopped at Lush have bought into a false media spin, and severely reduced their ratings on social media. Surely this is an abuse of the system, for rating a company should be done by those who actually engage with and have used the company? Social media can be a wonderful tool, but it also has horrendous oversights that seriously need to be addressed.
Let’s not become judge, jury and executioner of those whom we disagree with. Let’s not seek to destroy someone for having a differing opinion. Instead, let’s engage in dialogue so that we can better understand each other. We don’t have to agree with each other, but we can at least step beyond our own limited perspective and allow for discussion, which may lead to understanding, to develop. Without dialogue, there can never be understanding, and without understanding, there can never be compassion. Let’s not see compassion fall by the wayside, in real life and in social media.
My Pagan Portals introductory book, The Crane Bag: A Druid’s Guide to Ritual Tools and Practices was recently reviewed on Estoeric Moment: you can watch the video review here:
Robin Herne and I were approached by The Wild Hunt for our thoughts regarding the new television series, Britannia. While I have not watched the show, I gave some thoughts regarding storytelling at the end of the article, while Robin, who has watched the show, gave his point of view. You can read the article HERE.
Things are really busy here, so no new and thoughtful blog post this week – I hope to have more time next week! x
Many people here in the West have made New Year’s resolutions. I for one think that this tradition is a good one, for I’m always seeking to improve myself, to live in better harmony with the world around me. I know that I can’t change others, only myself, and lead by example. And so, a resolution or three can help me to achieve that goal.
Why are resolutions so important? Well, simply put, it’s vocalising an intention. In much of Western Paganism and Heathenry words, especially spoken words, have deep meaning when applied with intention, and most magic (but not all) relates to words, spells, chants, invocations and more. Think of the many sayings that relate how important words are to us. We take people by their word, and our word in our bond. Sadly, this is all too often forgotten in today’s society. We have to take back the sacredness of our words, thereby sanctifying also our intentions.
There is a deep power when we say what we mean, and mean what we say. Not hiding behind pretension or illusion, we will do as we say and we will be truthful and honest in our actions. We will sometimes fail to come through, as we are all fallible, but still the power is not only in the result, but in the attempt to live in this manner. We can ask for help when needed, for we know that everyone needs help every now and again.
When we take the importance of our words to heart, we can also look at how we take the words of others into our lives. How much do we validate our life based upon the words of others? Are these words spoken with an honest intention that is in correlation to your own, or is there a hidden agenda within them? Many people seek to abuse trust, sadly, and feel that only they hold a real reflection of others’ self-worth. Only you know your own value, your own worthiness, and if you are true to your word you then need not seek external validation. Criticism, honest and valid criticism can and should be useful in everyone’s lives. Bitter, angry, mocking criticism, filled with contempt, is not helpful in any way, and is only a reflection of the person who delivers such words, not you. We live in a world where many feel that their own flame burns brighter by blowing out others’, but we know that this is not the case.
By being true to your word, you are also being responsible for your actions. This again is something that I feel is lacking in much of today’s society. All too often we can blame others for our misfortune, or sink into the abyss of apathy rather than taking an active role in our lives. We have to define for ourselves how we wish to live, and take a participatory role in achieving that goal. None other can walk this path for us.
Taking on resolutions can help us to give voice to the sovereign self that we wish to be, that idealised self that we can indeed become, should we have the courage to walk the path towards that end. They can clarify what it is that we wish to achieve, and even ask for help along the way, from the gods, the ancestors, friends and family. We need not seek their validation, but only their help should we need it, for we know our own self-worth. Hold true to your resolution, as much as you can. Use it to remind you of the sovereign self, that self that states that YOU are in control of your own behaviour, that state of integration with the rest of the world where you realise that you are a part of a great weave in the tapestry of life. We may falter, we may even fail, but at least we tried. And next year we can try again, or make new resolutions to help us find and achieve that truth that we seek within our souls through the power of our words.
What gets you through the hardest times in life?
The last two weeks have not been easy. The death of a beloved member of the family, combined with a breast cancer scare has led me to a new perspective on life, one that is filled with content and gratitude, even in the deepest moments of grief and fear.
I’ve always been grateful for my many blessings. But it’s really only upon reviewing each and every one, in a quiet and dark space, that you realise just how much you have, and how wonderful life is, even if you should die tomorrow. As I sat before my altar, the candles flickering and the incense curling around flames, I spent over twenty minutes going over all the amazing things that had happened in my life, all the experiences and people, the wonderful moments that make life worthwhile. Not knowing what the hospital appointment in two days’ time would bring, and stricken with grief over the death of a loved one the day before, still all these beautiful revelations filled my soul as the rain pattered against the windows in the darkness outside.
Some of these were:
I have walked with the reindeer herds in the Scottish Cairngorms.
I have watched the sun rise over the North Sea in ritual with friends.
I have watched the sun set over the Pacific Ocean while the wind sighed amongst the pines.
I have skied in -29 degree weather, with icicles on my eyelashes.
I have been canoeing in Sweden with my husband, with only our provisions for the week, a tent, the canoe and an arranged rendezvous point and time a week in advance. I have seen the burial mounds and carved stones and watched Freya’s falcon soar over the water and mountains.
I have felt the burning fire of Brighid in my heart, in my head and in my belly.
I have faced a blizzard in Trollheim, Norway, and been forced by the wights and jotun to turn back to safety.
I have known the comfort of a safe home, loving parents, patient husband and a good family.
I have loved and been loved by many cats, and given them good homes.
I have climbed the mountains of the Lake District, and watched the crows dive and dance on the thermals as the water glimmered below.
I have walked back in time in the stone circle of Avebury.
I have walked the woods of my childhood home, and know the paths and where they go, the eyes of the seen and unseen upon me.
I have swum in lakes that are filled-up volcanoes, and in rivers that tumble between the ancient granite mountains of the Laurentians.
For all these things and more, I am utterly grateful, amazed, filled with awe and wonder. If I should die tomorrow, at least I have done and known these things, and I am content.
My perspective has not changed, even with the all-clear from my hospital appointment on Monday (it was a cyst). In this time of deepest darkness, I can review what I have experienced, what I have known, and be glad for it. It makes all the small things pale in comparison, all the niggles and troubles that I may have had, with people and life in general. All these things really don’t matter at all. What matters are the things that bring on the contentment, the sense of fulfilment. All else is just the dross which can cloud judgement and perspective. No longer will I sweat the small stuff.
As we head into the darkest depths of the Winter Solstice, I wish you all very many blessings. Thank you so much for your support over the years, and I look forward to sharing, discussing and reviewing more of life’s wonderful moments with you. Please feel free to comment below, on what helps you get through the darkest times, and peace be with you all.