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Peace in Druidry

The word peace means many different things to many different people. Some see peace as simply the cessation of aggression or violence. Others see it as a way of life, a philosophy. Still again others see it as a mere dream, while others see it as the ultimate goal. But just what is peace, and what does it mean in a Druid context?

In our society, we strive for so much. Some things are worth working for, putting all our heart and soul into, such as equality, environmentalism and a better way of life for all beings. Some things we strive for are not so worthy – material wealth, social, economic and political power, fame or authority. For many in today’s society, it’s a dog eat dog world, and to get ahead you have to step over others in the race for the top. In reality, there is no top rung on that ladder – there isn’t even a ladder to begin with. All these notions of power are entirely illusionary, when looked at from a basic ultimate view that we are all just beings co-existing with each other on this little planet. Allow me explain.

The illusion of separateness has caused our world so much pain. When we see ourselves as separate, we begin to lose the notion of the sacredness in everything. There is absolutely no possible way for anyone or anything to be separate from anything else. We human beings are made up of minerals and atoms, of genetic information from all our ancestors (human and non-human), of sunlight and wind and rain. We are all star-stuff. We have not come out of nowhere, to suddenly exist and then just as suddenly depart when our earthly lives are snuffed out. The clouds in the sky have always been, and always will be. They may change their form, becoming humid wisps of cloud and ice, to larger clouds that then change into rain. That rain falls onto the earth, to be drunk by human and non-human animals alike, by the garden plants and the trees, by the birds and the bees. This water is released once more into the atmosphere through a myriad of ways – sweat, piss, moist exhalation, dewdrops. Back into the sky it goes, to once again form a cloud. We have clouds within our bodies, in the food that we eat, in the water that we drink, in our genetic makeup. We are clouds and the clouds are us.

Once we see the interconnectedness of all things, we realise that to strive for power or control over anything is as fleeting as the life of a cloud. All things are connected, and all things are impermanent. This is an essential tenet of Eastern philosophies, which is strongly reflected in a Druid’s perspective when viewed as part of the natural cycle. Nothing ever stays the same, not the river, not the sky, not the grass, not the tadpole. Everything is in constant change and flux. The key to finding peace within this constant change is acceptance of the impermanence, allowing our hearts to find ease from the fears and insecurities that arise when we fight against change.

A wave does not stress out about dying when it crashes upon the shoreline. It knows that it is water. The wave is simply the form that it took for however long a time. It knows that it is connected with everything else on this planet – there is nothing that exists outside it in a separate context. The web of life, the threads of connections are all around us. When we see those threads we lose the fear of death, instead seeing the cycles that allow us to really come to terms with the concept of changing forms. Death is not annihilation – it is simply becoming a new form, a new way of being.

The basic fact of life is that we will all die. So what is this struggle, what is this constant striving towards ideas of ownership, of power and rule, of games played with lives? To what purpose does it serve when we will all return to the earth in some form or another, when we come to an understanding that we are not separate from anything else? When can we move from concepts such as birth and death?

As humans we have developed a sense of self-awareness that actually hinders the possibility of finding a true and real sense of peace. We are often so self-focused that we are blinkered to everything else, to the entirety of existence. When we are only in tune with ourselves, how can we ever find harmony without? Stuck within the whirls and eddies of the mind, we will never notice the birdsong, or the rain upon our shoulders, the cry of a hungry child or the yowl of a cat in heat. When we look beyond ourselves is when we will be able to find peace. When we are able to work for the benefit of others instead of just ourselves, the world will know harmony. As we are all co-existing on this planet, it just makes sense to work together. However, the illusion of separateness is strong.

Peace is not just something for stoned hippies to think about and discuss – it is a very real and powerful way of being in the world. Through sensing our connection to the world we find a place of true power, power that comes from within that allows us to work for the benefit of all. This power cannot and will never be a “power over” anyone or anything else, as writer and activist Starhawk expresses often in her work. This power from within is the deep core of true expression, of a sustainable relationship working in tune with the entirety of existence.

Peace is not just a cessation to war and violence. Peace comes from a very real and deep understanding of our selves, of our behaviour and our way of being in the world. Many people within the pagan community seek to find a better way of being in the world. They focus on working on the self, through years of self-discovery, journeys, pilgrimages, workshops, training and the like. For many, the journey stops there, at the betterment of the self. What I would posit in this essay is that in order to bring about true peace in the world, we then have to let go of ideas of the self, in order to focus on the wider world. It is a letting go of the blinkers that hinder our ability to work with others compassionately, in real empathy and attunement to the natural cycles.

This is deep integration, of immersion in the world to allow for true peace to flow. Where there are no barriers of you and me, no sense of the “other”, then we can truly work together to bring balance and harmony to our world. It is often said in historical and academic accounts that Druids were the peacemakers of their world and their society. Did they have a deep understanding of the connectedness of all life, did they allow their sense of self to fall away in order to bring about peace between warring tribes, between the workings of the human race and other species, in their work with the gods? We will never know, but it is something that I think is perhaps lost in today’s Druidry.

Peace is often not the main focus for those who come to Druidry. They often seek a spiritual path that allows them to explore the true nature of their self, to affirm their beliefs in a like-minded community. This is brilliant, and of course very useful for all, however it cannot end there. In my opinion, there must be a return for the lessons that we learn, an exchange, a flow from one to the other that allows for true and sustainable relationship. When we step beyond our selves and begin to truly understand what it means as a Druid to live a life in service to the gods, the community and the land then we are really coming to terms with the concept of peace within a Druid context.

Too many are living a reactionary life, caught within the trapping of their minds and unwilling or unable to see the world around them and their part in the weave that is the tapestry of life. They cannot sense all the other threads around them, or if they do sometimes they feel competition, or aggressiveness towards them. It is a sickness in our culture and society that we are brought up in such an environment. Instead of supporting each other and rooting for each other, if we have an issue with someone we do the exact opposite, for whatever reason. In sacred relationship, especially within a Druid context, we don’t have to like everyone we meet or interact with. However, we can see them for what they are: a part of the sacredness in all life. As Bobcat once wrote many years ago, it’s all about sacred relationship – when we walk through the woods we avoid the nettles. We don’t have to cut them all down in order to continue, yet we can still honour their existence and their place in the web of life. Essentially, we don’t have to hurt others who may even have hurt us – if we do that, we are simply living reactionary lives. Let’s live active lives instead, claiming full responsibility for our actions and in doing so achieve peace. Even if others hurt us, we don’t have to continue the cycle of hurt – we can walk around the nettles.

Peace must first come from within. If we are hurt or angry, we are not at peace. We must take some time to look at our hurt and our anger, and see where they really stem from. As Zen Buddhist monk Thich Nhat Hanh states, we must take care of our anger in order to transform it. When we finally sit with our emotions, we open the doors to empathy and compassion. Compassion is as mis-interpreted as the concept of peace is: compassion is simply looking at the bigger picture, attempting to understand the whole. It doesn’t necessarily mean unconditional love for all beings, though if we are truly and utterly open in our hearts that will ultimately be the outcome. It’s a tough call for most to make – in fact, only the Buddha himself has done it so far. However, we can take the wisdom of wider learning to help us understand others and thereby finding peace. If someone hurts us, we can sit with our anger and hurt, looking at it relating to our self. We can then extend that investigation – this is where most contemplation ends in day to day life. However, working through an entirely self-focused view, we can then begin to look at the person who hurt us, seeing that they too suffer. It’s not pleasant to cause suffering – not unless there is something severely wrong with the brain and a mental fissure stops that basic understanding and empathy. Have you ever betrayed anyone or said anything unkind? Did it make you feel better? Have you ever intentionally said something to hurt someone? Did you ever believe in the illusion that to being someone down raises you up? We all have. What we can do now is stop that cycle and truly live a life filled with intention, instead of reactionary living.

The Druid looks to nature for inspiration on how to live a live immersed and integrated with the whole. When we see the complex web of existence, when we bring our focus to an ecosystem, we see how everything works with the other in some shape or form to bring about the continuation of existence. We can look to ideas from permaculture, from biology, from ecology in order to grasp that sense of working together to create a beneficent environment. As Druids we don’t look to humanity for authority – we seek that from nature instead.

In gaining the wider perspective we can allow room in our hearts for a deep and abiding peace. We can still work actively in the world to bring about peace – we needn’t suddenly find peace and sit back while the world struggles on around us, our environment is destroyed and people are attacking each other. It means that from a very deep well we can work to nourish our communities, bringing a much-needed draught of inspiration or awen. In doing so, we are Druid.

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The centre

At the centre of the circle is where we find peace. We walk and work the edges, sometimes moving inwards towards the centre, sometimes finding ourselves on the outskirts. Walking a beautiful turf labyrinth today, and doing ritual in a wonderful tree henge, the lessons of finding the centre have been deep and utterly soul-awakening. May we be peace, may we find the stillness of the centre. xoxo

circle centre

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Reblog: The Solitary Path

Here is a reblog from my channel, Druidheart at SageWoman on the Witches and Pagans website, exploring a little of what the solitary path means to me.

The Solitary Path

Posted by Joanna van der Hoeven on Tuesday, 10 March 2015 in SageWoman Blogs

aloneSome people find comfort and deep learning in solitude. Others find inspiration and wisdom in the interaction with others, where the edges of our souls meet. I find a good balance between the two in my life, needing solitary reflective contemplation and the shared words, laughter and brilliance of my friends to encourage and nourish creativity. I have a strong circle of female friends with whom I share ritual practice, dance, creative crafts and good food, alongside weekends away, sometimes as “girly” weekends, sometimes as spiritual pilgrimages.

I have found ritual with these ladies deeply inspiring, and the bond that it creates reminds me of the sanctity within all our relationships. However, I mostly practice my Druidry on a solitary level, literally walking the wild paths of the heath or deep into the heart of the forest alone. In those moments I feel a deep connection to the world around me, whereas in ritual with others I feel a deep connection to them.

I think a balance is definitely required, in working both alone and with others. But here I shall speak of working alone, and the benefits that can be obtained from following a spiritual path with your own wits, instinct and inspiration to guide you.

I think that more of us need to spend quality time alone. I realise that in our society many people already feel alienated and isolated, but I wonder how much of that stems from not really being able to properly be with your self. I worry about the next generation, who have phones and tablets and a constant barrage of virtual communication that they can resort to anytime they are left alone. I remember a time when my husband was away for a work conference, and feeling the need for human company I went down to the local pub to chat with others from the village at the bar. There was conversation between the customers and the publican, but as soon as she left to go to the kitchen conversation died, and people went straight to their phones rather than talk to each other. I sat there, wondering what on earth has gone wrong with our society in that we cannot talk to each other anymore, but I digress.

The need for other human companionship can be strong, and it’s not a need that we should ignore, being a social species. However, what I would posit is that we certainly do need to learn how to be alone, to listen to ourselves, to become attuned to our thoughts and behaviour in order to better understand ourselves. I strongly feel that when we understand ourselves, we understand others and can be in the world with more empathy and compassion. Often I have taken time out away from the world in order to better understand it – in this I feel a very strong connection with monastic traditions. By removal from the world and the thoughts of others I can better hear the gods, the ancestors and the spirits of place all around me. By spending time alone with my thoughts I learn the cycles that they go through, paying attention to them and really noting them. With a little Zen, when we actually pay attention to our thoughts they don’t control us as much as they might otherwise, offering us an opportunity to live with real intention instead of leading reactive lives.

Spending time in mediation alone, learning how the mind works we can then begin to hear the songs of others as naturally our thoughts quiet down. We have paid them attention, and now that our thoughts have received the attention they desired, they no longer crave more. We hear the birdsong, we feel the sunlight on our skin, the wind in our hair where otherwise we might have been distracted by thoughts, feelings, emotions and situations. The world opens up, and we are once again reminded that the world is more than just us – that we are a part of a beautiful living, breathing system where everything is inter-related. It is an exquisite gift.

Spend more time with yourself. If you can, spend half an hour, an hour or a couple of hours each day alone, perhaps going for a walk or meditating. If at all possible, go on a weekend solo retreat, or a weeklong solo retreat in a place that inspires you, where you can really connect with what is important and with your own beautiful self. Learn to love that self for what she is, for who she is and connect with her, giving her as much time as you would your dearest friends.

When we learn to love our own self, that love will then spill out into the wider world, nourishing and sustaining others.

For more on the solitary path, see my latest book The Awen Alone: Walking the Path of the Solitary Druid, available now through Moon Books.

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Extract from “Nemetona: Boundaries and Edges”

Here is an extract from the talk that I will be presenting on 28 March at Leaping Hare in Colchester, Essex.  It further explores the goddess Nemetona in her aspect of Lady of Boundaries and Edges as described in my second book, Dancing With Nemetona, and which goes deeper into how we work with edges and where we find the greatest potential.

When we are rooted in our selves, finding our place in the environment, working with our edges we understand where we came from. With that understanding, we can reach out to others, where soul meets soul, when boundaries and edges touch. In that touch there is relationship and inspiration. In Druidry we call that awen, where soul touches soul and the spark of inspiration occurs. Where the seeds lands on the soil, where those edges meet, something wonderful happens and new life occurs. When we meet another human being with honesty and compassion, utterly awake and aware to the connection around us we are inspired. If we are aware of where we come from, aware of our ancestors, the land upon which we live, we can work from a place of deep connection. As the Tao Te Ching states, “Stay at the centre of the circle and let all things take their course”.

But it doesn’t stop at the self. Self-improvement is not the goal in Druidry. Nemetona teaches us to root and find our edges in the sacred grove, but then nudges us to go and seek out those edges in the wider world, where we can truly be inspired. Self-focused creativity is not as inspiring as that which is connected to the whole. Getting the self out of the way is key in this learning, of learning to live in service. We need to find out how and what we can give in order to have sustainable relationship.

Giving is essential in a culture and lifestyle that takes so much. We live in a consumer culture. We need to balance consumerism with the inspiration we receive from nature, where if we take too much it dies. If one creature starts to take too much the whole ecosystem is affected, and is at risk. As homo sapiens, the beings that are supposedly aware, we still take too much. We can look to nature to find out how to work better in and with the world. The curse of self-awareness means that we are often so focused on our selves that we do not see the wider world. We are so busy looking inwards that we forget to look outwards. We forget that what benefits us may not benefit the whole, and we are a part of that whole, therefore selfishness can be so detrimental – if only we are able to look beyond the self (and we are). Relationships require a give and take. We cannot always give nor can we always take. We are honour bound to give back for what we have received if we are working from a place of deep connection. Nature shows us how. Otherwise it is simply not sustainable. A forest is able to sustain itself without any human interaction. The sacred grove in the forest, where the edges of woodland meet open space are filled with potential, able to sustain itself with integrity…

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Dousing the Fire

Brighid is often known as the goddess of the sacred flame and of the sacred well. It is often said in religions throughout the world that where fire and water meet there is the greatest potential. Exploring her aspects of fire and water are extremely beneficial and here I shall talk a bit about fire; however, perhaps not in its most usual aspect.

We are all familiar with fire as flame, as external energy whether that be a fire in the hearth, the combustion that allows us mechanised transportation or the heat of the sun. What I’ve also been exploring is the fire within, that flame or spark of energy that ignites us to do things, say things, create things. I often think of inspiration in the Druidical “fire in the head” sense, but I also feel fire in the belly and fire in the heart. The fire in the belly is intuitive, instinctive. The fire in the heart is our passion, our love, our capacity for compassion and understanding.

The fire of the heart can take a long time to come into being. In our society, we often feel isolated from each other, even when we are literally living on top of each other in urban high-rise complexes. We learn coping techniques of shutting ourselves off from one another in order to function. We may have been hurt by others in the past and that causes us to dampen our flame of love for the rest of the world.

We also live in a society wherein it seems perfectly acceptable to douse someone’s fire. Think of reality shows, especially those that have “judges” critiquing the participants. Last year I gave up watching Strictly Come Dancing because I was tired of one particular judge being an outright bully, thinking his comments were humorous when they were in reality just plain mean. Putting down, making fun of someone who is simply trying their best to participate in a dance show to raise money for Children in Need is not something I wanted to be a part of. I can donate money directly instead of supporting that kind of behaviour.

We are so influenced by what we watch on television – we cannot deny that we are not. And it frightens me, especially with the amount of television that children are often exposed to these days. It is a rare occurrence, even where I live, to actually see children playing outside despite there being the most gorgeous countryside at their disposal. Whether that is due to parents’ control or other factors I cannot know – all I know is that when I was growing up the streets would be filled with neighbourhood children riding bikes or playing street hockey among other games. Are children nowadays being raised by television and computer games instead?

We live in an extremely competitive society, or so we are told. We feel that we always need the upper hand, the edge on a situation. We are now programmed to work against each other as opposed to with each other. We are trying to beat that other person out in promotion, or to be the best as everyone knows that the top dog is the happiest. We live in a put-down culture where co-operation simply doesn’t exist. We do not know our neighbours.

Living like this provides a perfect divide and conquer technique for those who want to keep us under their control. What we need to do is to reclaim our own power, and that of our own community. Instead of dousing the fire in other people, we need to cheer them on, to work together to make our lives better. It’s happening in small grassroots ways here and there, but not on a massive scale. In my own village, we have a village allotment where people can get together to work on group projects as well as their own. The village shop often acts as a hub for people to interact with each other.

What we need to do is to stop trying to take each other down and instead build each other up. We need to realise that life is not about competition. As a social species, we thrive better when we work together. When we douse the fire in other people’s hearts we are also dousing the fire within our own hearts. Every word, every deed with the intention of dousing another’s fire reduces our own capacity for love and compassion, to make the world a better place. Why on earth would we want to do that?

In her book, The Earth Path author and activist Starhawk talks about this very subject, exploring it at various Witchcamps. A proud supporter of community effort and achievement, of bringing power back to the people, she has worked with the various elements. She tells us of the results of working with fire and dousing another’s energy.

“Throughout that week, we went on to reflect on the ways in which we put out each other’s fire. When we recognise subtle energies, we become responsible for the kind of energy we are putting forth in our community. The things we do and say about each other create subtle energetic fields that either support our work and our relationships, or undermine them.

Malicious gossip, backbiting, unsupportive criticism, and mean-spiritedness douse even the stoutest of fire. And because a fire takes energy to build and maintain, such negativity is wasteful of the community’s resources; it’s like use electricity not just to keep the radio on all the time, but to keep it tuned to an irritating and distracting station… when anger festers, when we chew over our grievances like old bones without expressing them directly, when we meet others with sullenness or resentment, we douse not only their fire but our own.”

We need to judge situations in our lives all the time – they key to doing so lies in not being judgemental. We also need to support each other. If you don’t like what someone is doing, if you think it is detrimental to the community, you need to speak to that person directly. If you just don’t like them, then leave them well enough alone. All too often it is easy to attack or undermine someone through subtle means – Facebook and blogs are often used as tools for such behaviour. We can so easily dowse another’s fire through incessant comments or insidious ways online without anyone else apart from the target being the wiser. Let’s stop this behaviour right now. It is within our power.

Let’s cheer each other on, and where we simply cannot let us walk away with respect. Let’s stand up for what we believe in without resorting to maliciousness. Let’s put some good fuel onto the fire of our hearts and that of others and in doing so everything will burn with a cleaner, better focused energy.

Brighid has taught me to look deeply into what is feeding my fire, and how I can feed the fire within others. For that I am utterly thankful.

 

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Love

Many of us have heard the saying “Love means never having to say you’re sorry”. Like all sayings, they can be misinterpreted. Love is one of the most powerful gods. Love is so much more than romance, than warm fuzzy feelings for another. Love can be an unshakeable force, it can inspire us to greatness or tear us apart.

Never having to say sorry with regards to love has been misused by many as an excuse to behave badly, to not care about the feelings of others, to live in a purely self-centred state. It is also often implied that if we really love someone we should always be willing to forgive their behaviour. In Buddhism, it is widely regarded that we are all Buddhas, that we all have the ability for true compassion. However, we are also all human, with all the wonderful implications, limitations and foibles that it entails.

We have all known people whose behaviour has been less than glowing, who are so entrapped in their own worlds and minds that they often create a reality which is completely and utterly different to the one that you may experience. As humans, we have a shared reality and shared human experience, but as beings that are supposedly self-aware we become trapped in this self-awareness to the point of it spilling over into less than glowing behaviour. Love accepts the humanity of everyone. Love accepts reality. Love is compassion.

Compassion, however, doesn’t mean we have to take everyone’s crap. Compassion is understanding, trying to see the bigger picture, to understand why someone behaves the way that they do. In this attempt, we step outside of our “small selves” and out into a greater reality. We open up our perception. We may never truly understand, but at least in the attempt we see that the world is more than just our experience, our perceived reality. We recognise the experience and reality of others.

When that reality hurts us, when people do or say things to undermine us for whatever reason, should we simply forgive and move on? I’m not entirely sure it’s within human capacity to truly forgive, though people like Zen monk Thich Nhat Hanh are real-life inspirations for this way of being. We may find that the hardest person to forgive is ourselves. Perhaps we need to focus less on “us” forgiving “them” and simply focus on living our own lives in way that means that we will never have to say “I’m sorry” to another. This, in my opinion, is the real interpretation of the saying “Love means never having to say I’m sorry”.

We may fail, and there is nothing wrong with saying “I’m sorry”, however.

When we come against people we simply cannot be with, we can still try to understand them, to look beyond our self. It can often put us into the bigger picture, allowing more of a peripheral vision of the world that encompasses everything and in doing so, allowing the self to fall away in integrated living. Sometimes we simply have to walk away from that relationship in order to work compassionately with our selves, for we simply suffer too much at that given time to be able to function properly. We can do this with partners we’ve been romantically involved with – when it no longer works, we can bow to each other and walk away with respect, and hopefully a little compassion for both them and ourselves.

What we have to focus on most though is our own life, and our own behaviour. We have to live our lives in a way that means we will hopefully never have to apologise for our behaviour. It’s not an easy path, but it’s one that is worthwhile. In doing so, we will walk lightly upon the earth, loving the earth with every fibre of our being, loving everything on the earth with eyes wide open and a heart filled with compassion. We can love life, the power of the gods moving through us and around us, and live our lives in celebration of this.

As the first snowdrops bloom here in the UK, and the songs of the birds change to love of each other, of the warming sun and the greening of the land, may our hearts too be filled with love.

reverence

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Interview with Emma Restall Orr, March 2014

Photo courtesy of emmarestallorr.org

Photo courtesy of emmarestallorr.org

Below is a fairly recent interview (March 2014) with Emma Restall Orr, author, founder and director of Honouring the Ancient Dead, and former Head of The Druid Network. Here, she is talks about Druidry, labels, the priesthood, anarchy, understanding the self and the importance of earth-based religions. Enjoy!

Listen HERE.

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Acts of Compassion

There are many ways we can be compassionate in today’s society. Compassion is merely trying to understand, to see beyond your own point of view and share in humanity as a whole.  An act of compassion need not be grand – it can be as simple as giving up your seat on the bus, or smiling at someone who looks down as you walk past them on the street.

I came across this beautiful story from Jason at Parallax Press today, and had to share it. May peace and love fill your heart and soul, and flow out into the wider world.

I just came back from the Deer Park Holiday Retreat last week, and the theme this year was “New Year, New You.”

While there, we watched Thich Nhat Hanh’s New Year dharma talk from 2013. In the talk, he said something that was very interesting: “There can’t be a new year if there isn’t also a new you.” If we do not have the intention to water the seeds of transformation within us, he elaborated, the so-called new year will continue to be very much like the old, not only for us, but also the world.

With that in mind, I had the privilege of sharing my own insights on the transformative practice of compassion with many of you at the retreat. I shared the story of a life-changing incident that occurred many years ago when I was sixteen and volunteering at a community legal clinic for those who could not afford attorneys.

It was while working there as a receptionist that I encountered a very literal case of “saying hello to your suffering.”

One day at the clinic, I picked up the phone to answer a call as I routinely did, and I heard the sound of a woman crying and what sounded like the humming and whirring of a train or subway car pulling into a station.

“My husband has been beating me and I have no money for a divorce. I should jump onto these tracks and kill myself.”

I realize now that this woman had not only called the clinic for help, but had begun the process of saying hello to her suffering. And suffering had said hello to me that day.

Even as she contemplated her own annihilation on those steel tracks with the train arriving ever closer, she had enough strength within herself to call a total stranger who happened to be a completely unprepared sixteen year old.

In his latest book No Mud, No Lotus, Thich Nhat Hanh writes:
The work of mindfulness is first to recognize the suffering and second to embrace it. A mother taking care of a crying baby naturally will take the child into her arms without suppressing, judging it, or ignoring the crying. Mindfulness is like that mother, recognizing and embracing suffering without judgment. So the practice is not to fight or suppress the feeling, but rather to cradle it with a lot of tenderness, (pp. 26-27).
Rather than saying to the woman, “I’m only sixteen years old; I don’t know what your suffering is, nor how to help you,” I simply listened to her with all my heart, cradling her suffering gently in my arms.

I listened to her for an hour or more, and gradually the crying stopped and I could not hear the train.

I am not so presumptuous to claim that I saved this woman’s life, but what I can say is that my act of compassion sprouted within her the beginnings of a lotus from the mud.

If you’re going through a difficult time, Parallax hopes that the new year leads to the blossoming of a new you. To help get you started, here’s one of my favorite passages from No Mud, No Lotus: 
Releasing the Arrow

There is a Buddhist teaching found in the Sallatha Sutta, known as The Arrow. It says if an arrow hits you, you will feel pain in that part of your body where the arrow hit; and then if a second arrow comes and strikes exactly at the same spot, the pain will not be only double, it will become at least ten times more intense.

The unwelcome things that sometimes happen in life—being
rejected, losing a valuable object, failing a test, getting injured in an accident—are analogous to the first arrow. They cause some pain.

The second arrow, fired by our own selves, is our reaction, our storyline, and our anxiety. All these things magnify the suffering. Many times, the ultimate disaster we’re ruminating upon hasn’t even happened.

We may worry, for example, that we have cancer and that we’re going to die soon. We don’t know, and our fear of the unknown makes the pain grow even bigger.

The second arrow may take the form of judgment (“how could I have been so stupid?”), fear (“what if the pain doesn’t go away?”), or anger (“I hate that I’m in pain. I don’t deserve this!”). We can quickly conjure up a hell realm of negativity in our minds that multiplies the stress of the actual event, by ten times or even more.

Part of the art of suffering well is learning not to magnify our pain by getting carried away in fear, anger, and despair. We build and maintain our energy reserves to handle the big sufferings; the little sufferings we can let go…
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Mindful Mondays

Mindfulness is THE buzzword in self-improvement and New Age circles, but what does it really mean? If we go back to basics, we find that it is rooted in Buddhism, and can be easily explained in two simple phrases.

Chop wood. Carry water.

This is actually a pared down version of a slightly longer Zen story, wherein an enlightened monk recalls his process to enlightenment. He stated “When I was unenlightened, I chopped wood and carried water. When I became enlightened, I chopped wood and carried water.”

A lot of the time it can feel like we’re carrying wood and chopping water – not really getting anywhere, flailing around with a dripping axe. But when we stop, focus and concentrate, usually things become smoother, get done quicker and with little drama. Some may not want that – they enjoy the distraction that the flailing causes, or the drama, but after a while it can wear thin. Applying mindfulness, which is simply paying attention, can help alleviate any dis-ease that we may feel in our lives. That’s not to say that we’ll feel great all the time, but just by being in the present moment and not attaching to past experiences, dwelling on them or getting stuck in an emotion we can just get on with plain living.

So, with all that in mind, I’ve decided to dedicate an entire day to mindfulness each week. Ideally, I try to be mindful all the time, but I’m no Buddha. Having an entire day to focus on this will hopefully trickle down into the rest of the week, and all my thoughts, actions and their consequences. I’ve deemed this my Mindful Mondays.

So, what does this all mean? It means that when I’m eating breakfast, I’m just eating breakfast – not reading a book or article. When I’m washing the dishes, I’m just washing the dishes and not singing along to the latest Taylor Swift album. When I’m out walking, I am walking mindfully, at whatever speed, paying attention to my steps and my surroundings – not planning my evening meal. When I’m stroking my cat, I’m not thinking about writing the next chapter of my book. When I’m driving I’m really feeling the road beneath me, not dwelling on the driver that decided to overtake me on a blind summit. When I’m out for a meal with friends, I’m really paying attention to what they are saying, and not already forming a reply to their words before they’ve even finished talking.

Mindful Mondays are all about paying attention.

With that centred awareness, with that focus, we can simplify our lives immensely (part of my New Year’s resolution). People often fear that we will be less productive, but actually we will do jobs better, more efficiently, if we maintain that focus.

Being aware of your movements as well is doing a great kindness to your body. When we are walking down the stairs, we are focusing on our body moving. We will find that our movements may become less hurried and more graceful. A calm descends on our way of being. Like a leaf falling from the tree, we simply are in that moment, either floating down serenely or caught in a whirlwhind – either way it is done with grace.

So, like the monk who realised that life doesn’t change after enlightenment and that you still have to do the things you have to do, what you can change is how you do them. Mindfully, with awareness, focus and concentration. Give it a try, and let me know how you get on! Even if a day is too much, try an hour or half an hour each day. You don’t have to change your schedule, just do everything in it mindfully.

May you be peace as you chop wood and carry water.

ch5

by

Happy New Year!

The end of another calendar year, and a time to reflect. What a fabulous year it has been. The ups as well as the downs, all of it has been a great experience. Life certainly is the best teacher.

So, what are the plans for next year? Well, I shall be continuing to write, a much longer book than those of the Pagan Portals series for Moon Books. This new project is called “Hedge Druidry”, and is basically an extension of The Awen Alone: Walking the Path of the Solitary Druid.

I also plan to start a much bigger vegetable garden next year, and go on a mushrooming course so that I am able to identify more mushrooms than just the parasol ones we munch on here that grow in the beautiful sandy soil.

I also have a wonderful new project that will hopefully start up in the autumn of 2015, but I can’t tell you about that just yet – I will hopefully have news for you very shortly! Hint – it’s about learning Druidry…

Lastly, I aim to simplify even more. This year I already reduced the time spent on social media, cleared the clutter in my house and spent even more time in meditation. I hope to continue on this path, making more time for the people that I love, the places that I love and the things that I really love doing.

In this time of reflection, don’t feel bad about the things you didn’t accomplish. Instead, reaffirm your resolve to try again, and persevere with a good heart and a pure mind. Make resolutions for the New Year, but for yourself and not for anyone else. If you want to lose weight, that’s great – but do it for your own health, with a doctor’s or nutritionist’s advice. Don’t do it to make yourself more beautiful – you already are beautiful. Likewise, quitting bad habits such as smoking or drinking are equally good resolutions to make, as long as you are truly willing to go the distance, for your own health and well-being. If we can do such things for ourselves, then we see that we can serve others as well. We have to take care of ourselves as well as each other.

And so I wish you a very Happy New Year. May you love one another, may peace fill your hearts. Love and peace are there, seeds waiting to be nourished by you and only you, not anyone else. Give them the attention that they need, and watch them bloom. Only you can do this.

With peace and love, and many thanks for following me down the forest path,

Jo. x