life

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Midsummer

Ah – midsummer. I remember when I first moved to these isles over 16 years ago from Canada – it was a cold and wet summer, and I wondered just what on earth I had done. And yet, the light fascinated me at that time of year, and later at the winter solstice, the darkness. It was so much more than where I grew up – the twilight of midsummer and the barest space of total darkness, the unrelenting darkness that forces you to face it head on in winter. The difference in latitude was a great teacher – (Montreal, 45.5N, London 51.5N).

 
The current is running strong in the British Isles right now. As I go to my outdoor altar every evening, laying my hands upon the soft, mossy earth I feel the white dragon that has risen to the surface and is dancing in the ethereal currents of energy crisscrossing the land. It is a time of great joy, of celebration.

 
This is a time of year to be proud of what you have done so far in the year’s cycle. But beware – the carpet can be pulled from underneath you, and the harvest may not quite be as expected. For this brief moment, however, we can perform this wonderful balancing act, in a liminal time before the tide tips over and we tumble headlong with it. It is important to be proud of what you have achieved – it is too easily done to become prideful.

 
Stand and feel the earth beneath your feet. Feel the serpent energy rising, the dragons of these lands, filling your soul with this time of year. Reflect on your achievements, and state them aloud under the eye of the sun. Confirm for yourself the good that you have done for the world, for your family, your community, for yourself. Let the sun’s rays witness this confirmation.

 
On Saturday I will be reflecting on the good investment of my solar panels – this time of year it is especially rewarding to know that the longer daylight hours are helping others in the village, ie. local businesses. I will take a bow for the two books published (and doing well), and the third and fourth on their way. I will applaud the money that has been raised for various charities through a lot of hard work in fundraising, events and suchlike over the course of the year. For this brief moment, I will take pleasure in my achievements, and remind myself that this is why I do the work I do, and live the life that I live. I will remember this moment in the darker times, to guide me through them and out the other side.

 
And then I will immerse myself once again, into the landscape, losing that sense of self and becoming a part of it, letting it guide me, teach me, blend with my blood and my bones with the whispers of the ancestors blessing it all.

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Reblog from DruidHeart: Hello, Jack

Here’s a reblog of my latest post for Druidheart, on the SageWoman channel at Witches and Pagans.

Arthur Rackham, 1920

Arthur Rackham, 1920

At this time of year, I always honour Jack.

 
Who is Jack? Why, Jack In the Green, of course! Although Mr Sparrow does deserve high praise indeed – but I digress. When the greening has taken over the land, when everything suddenly seems to explode in a riotous cacophony of twisting tendrils, blooming buds, leafy mounds and pollen induced insanity – this is when Jack is in His element.

 
Up until now, things have been fairly orderly. The weeds have, for the most part, been kept under control. Everything seems to have taken its turn in coming out – the columbine turning the garden all shades of pink through to purple. A couple of weeks later and BAM! Chaos reigns. Each green and growing thing is no longer playing nice; now it’s a competition for the most light, the best position. We had a lovely calm before the storm in May, now the party well and truly has begun.

 

As we edge ever closer to the summer solstice, so too does Jack creep further into our hearts, into our psyche. Sleep patterns are disturbed by the long evenings and early mornings (here in the UK). We spend every moment we can enjoying this weather, for it can all change tomorrow into a cold, dreary day. We barbeque at every opportunity. We attend festivals and gatherings, meeting new people and seeing old friends. We have come out of our shell, so to speak, to dance in the full light of the sun. We make noise. We laugh. We love out in the open in the lingering twilight.

 
Jack can bring all these wonderful things to the fore. He can also run you ragged. Like tending a garden – we have to keep Him in check or else he will just run you crazy until you’re lying on the floor, wondering how on earth you got there. There’s a rush to do things, to make use of the wonderful light and time of year. We’re overbooked – we’re double and triple-booked in some cases. We’re teetering on the edge of the solstice, and Jack is waiting to push you over the edge.

 

Cont’d

To read the full article, click HERE

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Celebrating 50 years of OBOD

OBOD logoThis weekend the Order of Bards, Ovates and Druids celebrated 50 years of their organisation, founded by Ross Nichols (Nuinn). The weekend ran from Friday 6 to Monday 9 June, with fringe events and a spectacular evening of arts and entertainment on the Saturday, all held within Glastonbury town centre.

 
I had been asked by chosen chief, Philip Carr-Gomm if I would be available for an interview on the Friday afternoon of the event, as well as be a part of the author’s table on the Sunday. It was an honour and a pleasure to be able to do so, and to attend the variety of other things happening all over the weekend.

 
After a 7.5 hour drive from where I live on the coast of the North Sea in Suffolk, we arrived with 10 minutes to spare before my interview with Phillip (which will be available on the OBOD podcast, Druidcast at a later date alongside other authors and figures within Druidry and OBOD). I hobbled into the venue (having pinched a nerve in my hip the day before) and was greeting warmly by Jo, who was working in the Avalon Foundation office, Kris Hughes (one of the most lovely, witty and funny Druids you will ever meet – do check out his books and the Anglesey Druid Order) and then by Philip himself, whom I’d only ever known via email correspondence. Philip has a wonderful way of making you feel at ease, ensuring that things will run smoothly without having to say a word. He is one of those people who is utterly devoted to his passions in life, and be completely un-egotistical about it all, considering his position within the Order and in modern Druidry itself. The cult of celebrity exists even in the modern pagan world, but it has not and I highly doubt will ever influence this genuine and endearing soul.

 
As the interview began, Philip set me at ease straight away – it was like talking to an old friend. The people attending the interview as audience members were absolutely lovely as well – it was nice to be able to connect with them and honour their support.

 
After the interview I headed to the Goddess Temple, to decompress and honour this very sacred time and place. We then had supper and went back to our B&B, which was about 4 miles out of town, as when I tried to book three months earlier the town had already been overrun by Druids seeking lodging!

 
The following morning we attended the official opening of the weekend event. Caitlin Matthews made the first speech, talking about what it means to be a Druid today, and how those who follow the path of Druidry can proudly call themselves Druid. Professor Ronald Hutton then gave an endearing roast and toast speech about the OBOD and Philip himself, which had us all in stitches, particularly when he likened Philip’s personal appearance to a dandelion puff and fighting the urge to blow on this head to release the seeds into the world. Phillip then spoke about the Order, and a powerful dramatic interpretation of the trees of the ogham was enacted. The most beautiful aspect of the entire morning’s event, however, was the cascading chant of Awens that Damh organised. Four hundred voices raised in celebration and joy chanted the sacred sound that sent beautiful rays into the heavens even as it shook the grounds of the Abbey wherein we were situated.

 
Later that day was a very special ceremony on the top of Glastonbury Tor that honoured the Druidry of the past, present and future. A moving sight was seeing those that were in the different schools of learning (Bards, Ovates and Druids) coming forward and standing in three lines before the tower of St Michael, looking like three rays of awen in their tabards of blue, green and white.

 
In the evening the Eisteddfod was absolutely superb, with offerings from a Dutch opera singer, as well as brilliant drumming and poetry. Afterwards the chairs were cleared away and the evening’s bands came on – the dance floor was heaving and the energy was amazing. Fifteen minutes before the scheduled end of the evening, Damh jumped offstage and ran out the tent to lead us to a very special surprise in the Abbey grounds – a spectacular fireworks display that lit up the whole town. As the last of the light and noise faded into the night, the awen chant seemed to flow from the very ground itself, as hundreds of Druids honoured the peace, love, passion and more in their souls in the darkness as it sounded from their voices one last time.

 
The following morning I sat at the author’s table with fellow Druid authors such as Cat Treadwell, Robin Herne, Kris Hughes and more. It was a lovely chance to connect with people and offer signed copies of our work, sharing in the very special energy that Druids seem to have when it comes to learning, reading, and always questing the awen.

 
After that I headed to the Red Spring for some quiet, personal time – sadly the White Spring was not open. I honoured this most sacred place in England and then it was time to leave, back to my home on the other side of the country.

 
All in all, this weekend was filled with lovely, beautiful people who had a deep love of Druidry and the land upon which they lived. It made me proud to call myself Druid, to make me really feel part of a tribe of people who have created a lasting tradition built upon the wisdom of the ancestors of the past and holding a deep and abiding bond for our ancestors of the future that will follow in our footsteps. Long may it continue.

 

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30-Day Plastic Packaging Challenge

For the month of July, I’m issuing myself a challenge – to not buy any food that is packaged in plastic.

The amount of plastic in our lives is just incredible. We don’t realise it half the time – we’ve grown accustomed to it. When we do buy it, with awareness, we know that we will recycle it appropriately. But what if we addressed our need for plastic in the first place? What would the outcome of that be? This is going to be my little experiment.

The dangers of plastic to the environment are legion. When it’s not getting tangled up in the flora and fauna, it’s left to release noxious fumes in vast quantities at disposal sites. It floats in our oceans, causing litter in areas where no human has ever tread.  Two thirds of the EU’s plastic is still being burned or ending up in landfills. Greenhouse gases from these incinerators are unbelievable.

Not to mention that most plastics are made from petrochemicals.  Why support that industry when solar, wind and water could be used?

Plastic in food packaging hasn’t been around long enough to test the long-term effects that it might cause upon our health.  We may very well find that in 50 years, levels that we thought were “safe” from plastic in our food could very well be extremely detrimental to our health.

So, for an entire month, I am going to go plastic-free when it comes to food.  In fact, I’m going to try and reduce ALL packaging as much as possible.  I’ve got the month of June to use up what stock I have in my fridge and cupboards, and to also research where I can get fresh food that is plastic-free.

If you would like to join me in this challenge, please comment below and share your intention, either on your own blog or other social media. Link back to this blog if you like.  If a month is too long, try a week, or a fortnight.  Find out what impact plastic packaging in having on your personal life, and look into what it’s doing to the planet as a whole.

Good luck, and do please share with me your stories if you decide to take up the challenge!

Dealing with depression and despair…
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Dealing with depression and despair…

Being kind isn’t all that hard. Being jolly and upbeat all the time is – and is a denial of our emotions and bodily responses to certain situations.

 
I woke up yesterday in a bad mood – which has spilled over into today. The reasons for it are numerous: tiredness, frustration, a lack of compassion in the world amongst others. The Zen thing to do would be to be present in the moment, for in this moment there is all that we need. There is nothing but this moment. Feelings of despair arise when we separate ourselves from the moment, and think about the past or the future, dwelling on certain aspects and perhaps not seeing the bigger picture (or perhaps even seeing the bigger picture, which can cause us to despair even more).

 
Yes – I am quite comfortable in this present moment as I write this. I am not being shot at. I am not in fear for my life. My loved ones are safe. I have a cup of tea, and enough food to eat. My body is clean, my clothes warm. Compared to many, what on earth am I doing feeling despondent?

 
Humanity’s blessing, and curse, is the ability to see the bigger picture. This can lead to glorious ideas about the direction we should take; it can also lead to despair when we take into consideration the negative aspects of our lives on this planet. Focusing on just the positive isn’t balanced – neither is focusing on the negative. As a Druid, I am constantly seeking balance and harmony, to find my place in the world and to serve this world in the best capacity that I can, being true to my nature and honourable in my deeds.

 
I sometimes fail at this. I sometimes succeed. In this, there is balance. Of course, I aim to look at things from a balanced perspective, but on the whole we are conditioned throughout our lives to try and look at things positively. However, when looking at things negatively, we need to remember that negative does not equal apathy. If there is something we do not like, we can seek a way to change it. It’s in our hands.

 
This is not denying the negative. It is living a life with intention. Creating peace is damned hard work. It requires a person to see all sides of a story and work with the ideals of compassion and empathy. If we only acknowledged the positive things in our lives, our compassion and empathy would be seriously diminished.

 
I sometimes find myself thinking that Buddhist monks have got it pretty easy, secluded away in their monasteries, not engaging with the real world. Some do. However, I remind myself that other monks have engaged with the world in ways that I probably will never be able to – think Thich Nhat Hanh helping to rebuild villages during the Vietnam War, not taking sides with anyone and simply helping people as best he could. I’m sure at some points he too despaired, seeing children dying, homes destroyed and his country torn apart. My despair pales in comparison to this.

 
This is not to say that I should not acknowledge my own despair, however. If I did, if I pushed it to one side to focus on the positive, I’m sure that it would return to bite me on the ass at the most inopportune moment. We don’t have to give in to feelings of despair, but neither should we push them aside. We normally don’t push feelings of joy aside – we like to experience these. All feelings should be felt – and then we can move on.

 
So, tired after dance rehearsals and depressed by the amount of litter that I see along the roadsides that I will have to clear (again), apprehensive about coming engagements and a workload that was supposed to be lighter this year being heavier than ever, I am feeling my despair, my depression. I am allowing it to move through me, so that I can come out the other side having had the experience, which will hopefully transform into some sort of wisdom.

 
This despair will be self-contained – I will not be taking it out on others. I will try not to snap at people even though my emotions and reactions feel more “on edge” than normal. You can despair at the world and still be kind. You can reach out a hand to friends or family if you need to. You can write about it in a blog.

 
Above all, you are allowed to feel it, in your bones and in your soul.

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Truth, Honour, Service

Druidry can be summed up in three words – truth, honour and service. Yet these words can be very vague – what do they mean to the Druid?

 
Truth is not just figurative and literal truth. There are other dimensions to the word when we see it in accordance with our views of the world and religion or spirituality. Druids live in reverence of nature, connecting the world through awen, the flowing inspiration that guides and directs, that is each thing’s own soul song. When each thing is living in accordance to its own soul song, in accordance to its own nature, then it is following its own truth.

 
The world around us tries to muddy the waters of our truth, making us believe we need more than we could possibly know what to do with, making us think we are above others, making us feel inferior, unworthy and unloved. It tries to tell us that we are lacking. When we take a step back away from the world, we can examine it from a different perspective, seeing what is often termed in Druidry as “the truth against the world”.

 
This truth is our soul song. It shines from us when we live in accordance with nature. If flows like the awen when we care for ourselves, others and the planet. It springs forth when we acknowledge the times and tides of life and death. When we step away from what really matters, from living our own truth, we can feel distanced from the world and from each other, and perhaps even our own selves. We must return to the basics of what is our place is within nature, and how we can live in harmony and balance with it. When we do, we are then living our truth.

Honour is another word that lies in the hazy mists of time. It has connotations of chivalry, fealty and nobility. Yet honour is simply the courage to live our soul truth in the world. It is standing strong by our principles of balance and harmony, making the world a better for all. Returning again to what really matters, to our place in the world, is at the heart of honour. It is not a one-time thing that we can achieve and then sit back, resting on our laurels. Honour requires hard work, all the time, to see that we are indeed living our soul truths to the best of our ability.

 

When we come to understand truth and honour, the natural outcome is service. We live our lives in service to our Druidry – we can do no other. We are not subservient to anyone but ourselves. Living in accordance to our own nature, our own truths and finding sustainability through honour, it naturally results in service to the world – that same world that tries to rail against our truth! The cycle is ever flowing, and we work in service to the truth and the world in equal measure. That is where we find the most balance and harmony. That is what makes it so special, as well as bloody hard work sometimes.

 
Truth. Honour. Service. Three words; three concepts that are inextricably linked to each other, like beautiful Celtic knotwork.

 
Beltane blessings,
Jo.x

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Beltane and bluebells

We headed off across the field, flowers in our hair, to find the bluebell woods at Beltane. Some of us had seen them before; the others were in for a big surprise.

As we neared the gate, the scent of the blossom floated on the breeze, and a haze of purple/blue could be seen. As we passed through, we simply stood and stared at the thick, lush carpet of flowers that covered the entire floor of the little wood. This place was special.

We walked on, talking of faeries and bending down to touch and smell those flowers next to the path. Bees buzzed past, and the greening canopy of leaves overhead whispered in the breeze of the coming summer. We made our way to a little faery knoll, where there was a space of grass and where we could do the first half of our ritual without fear of crushing any of the tiny, precious flowers.

We sat, and prayed to the spirits of the wood. They welcomed us with open arms, a gentle hug of affirmation. We proceeded with our ritual, honouring the gods, the ancestors the four quarters, the three realms. We spoke of our own fires within, of what sparked our passion in life. Our words were witnessed by the circle of present, and all else around us, both seen and unseen.

We then made our offerings and closed down the ritual, heading back to the house. Once there, we lit the twin fires in the backyard, and drummed the energy into being. With drums pounding, we each took our turn walking between the fires, letting their heat and energy fill our souls with the song of flames and smoke, of fuel and light, of love, sex and passion. We let the flames purify our souls, and released what we had held onto all winter that was unnecessary. Once the flames died down, we then jumped the fires, some with skirts held high, with joy in our hearts and smiles on our faces.

The fires burned lower, and we walked once again between the two fires, to be smudged by twin bearers of mugwort, who lit their bundles in the flames and swept them all over our bodies. There was laughter and thoughtfulness, and we then sat down around the fires for the next part of our ritual.

We had prepared words of love; words of love that we wished someone would write or say to us. We wrote love poems to ourselves, with words honouring the fact that love must first come from within. We shared the poems and words with laughter and with tears, and then burned the papers in offering to the spirits. We then stood, delighting in an energy shower/chant that one of our group taught to us on the spot, and then we did a drum healing for all.

All in all, it was the most blessed Beltane ritual that I have ever had the pleasure of attending. This year feels so…. it just feels so much more. Things are happening. Things are moving, changing. The gods are calling, the woods beckon, the fire of light and life ignites in our souls. Welcome summer.

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Relationship and worship

Within any relationship there is a give and take, an exchange of energy that flows, spiralling in and out and around, up and down and out and through. Within some practices of paganism, and dependent upon the individual, there can be too much one-sidedness in their relationship with deity, the spirits of place, the ancestors, etc. Often this is the individual asking or petitioning other powers all the time, or simply taking without giving anything in return. Sometimes it is the other way around, where a devotee gives and gives but is reluctant to ask for anything in return. I tend to fall into this latter category all too often.

My life, my rituals, my energy is utterly devoted to the land, the gods and the ancestors. They are my inspiration, they are my connection to the awen. I do not know what I would do now without them. As such, I let them know that they are honoured with daily prayers and devotions, in ritual work and in secular work. Their inspiration sings deep within my soul, feeding my own creativity and actions.

In ritual especially, I find it difficult to ask for anything. I am aware that so many people in our modern society, and indeed within paganism itself, take and take without giving anything in return. I am paranoid that I will fall into that category; that I should I ask for anything I will be lumping myself in with those who take advantage of the beautiful energy of a place, or who bother their gods, or who work magic without forethought.

I know that it is silly, even ridiculous to think this sometimes. However, I think that it also keeps me in check, keeps my ego in check, and allows me to remember my place within the web. I am a part of the tapestry, not separate, and therefore everything that I do affects the whole. Yet I can be so afraid sometimes to move some threads, to take some energy that lies within their warp and weft that perhaps my own colour fades, or becomes too thin. Reciprocity works both ways.

I am uncomfortable asking for things in ritual or in prayer. Why should this be? In my relationship with my partner, I am not afraid to ask for the things I need, for I know that good communication is key to any relationship. I need to understand, to really see and feel this truth in my relationship to the land, the ancestors and the deities as well.

Perhaps it is because they are so much bigger than I am – I am but a drop in the ocean. Yet I am still part of the ocean, whose power lies in its collective drops of water, singing and blending with the songs of wind and rain and sun. I can call upon that power for I am that power, and that power is me. I am a leaf on a tree and the tree itself – there is no separation. My gods live within me as much as they exist without. Separation is nothing but illusion.

Perhaps this is what some pagans have an aversion to when they consider the term “worship”. Taken from the Old English weorthscipe, it is the value of something – what it is worth to the individual. Weorth – worth, and scipe – condition. Worship is not bowing and grovelling before the gods, as some may perceive it to be – it is judging the worth of something in order to be able to fully relate to it. I hold my gods, the land and the ancestors in high esteem and therefore they are worthy of my attention. What I need to realise is that perhaps I too am worthy of their attention.

I’m working on it…

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The Little Pagan Monastery Weekend

945363_640774059272919_940773617_nI don’t think any of us expected the deeply moving and transformative powers that awaited us on our weekend of the Little Pagan Monastery Retreat.

Held over the weekend of 11 – 13 April 2014, we stayed for two nights at Little St Michael’s, the Companions’ Retreat House for Chalice Well and Gardens. I knew that staying and sleeping in such a sacred spot would be the basis for challenging soul work. We had 24 hour access to the gardens, which was a special blessing after hours, when we had it all to ourselves. The chance to meditate, pray and create ritual at the Red Spring was truly unique. It opened our souls to the very special power of the Vale of Avalon, wherein the Goddess was present in everything.

We walked the spiral path up the Tor, feeling the strong energies push and pull us in every direction as the wind whipped around us. We climbed the Tor twice that weekend, the second time to watch the sunrise. The mists of Avalon swirled around us as we may our ascent in the hour before sunrise, and settled over the Somerset levels in thick, low banks of cloud that seemed to shine with their own inner light. The sun rose from behind the far hills, a red-orange disc of flame that filled the soul with such joy it felt like we would burst with it.

A private visit to the White Spring later that day resulted in a very moving ritual, wherein participants immersed themselves in the sacred waters of the large, dark mirror pool. Souls were awakened, energy bursting forth from the dark womb of the waters and new journeys began for everyone.

The days followed a routine of morning, noon and evening prayers and meditation. Together we created a group prayer to be recited at these times.

We give thanks for this day

May awen and peace flow our way

In honour of this land we pray

Some participants had powerful dreams, which was likely to happen in such a sacred power spot. The lodging itself was incredible – a 400 year old building filled with such peaceful energy. We had the meeting room as well, a beautiful open space filled with light where we gathered for discussions and group work. The kitchen and dining room were huge – how many kitchens have a vesica pisces symbol in the floor?

All in all, this weekend was one that I shall remember for the rest of my life. What we learned from this weekend we will take into our lives wherever we may be, and use the wisdom of Avalon to nourish, strengthen and sustain us in all that we do. We prayed that Avalon itself was blessed in return by our love and devotion to the sacred spirits, and we look forward to returning as soon as we can.