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Glastonbury Pilgrimage 2023

Well, I have just returned home from another Glastonbury pilgrimage. This time I seven lady friends and I from here in Suffolk went to experience the sacred sites around Glastonbury. We had a lovely time stopping at Avebury on the way, to walk among the stones and to get a feel for this ancient site, as well as having a lunch break at the Red Lion pub. We were surprised to see that their prices are still incredibly reasonable, even after everything that has happened in the last few years. In fact, we noticed that wherever we ate, we were spending around £5 to sometimes nearly £10 less than we would in Suffolk, for some reason. Since Covid hit, every pub and restaurant in Suffolk has increased their prices dramatically.  It made eating out on our roadtrip/pilgrimage even that much more enjoyable.

When we arrived in Glastonbury, a few of us immediately climbed the Tor. It was quite still, with very little breeze, which is rare on the Tor! Standing up there on top of than ancient hill felt like being on top of the world, as it always does. A few people were quietly sitting and watching the sunset, or meditating, and it was incredibly peaceful up there. The mists were beginning to gather in the Somerset levels below, and the setting sun peeped out through the clouds just before disappearing below the horizon.

The next day we began our visit to the sacred places all together. We began with the Red Spring (Chalice Well). It is a beautiful sanctuary of peace and love, with the waters of the Red Spring flowing through various gardens and areas before culminating in a gorgeous vesical pisces pool at the bottom. I always begin at the bottom, crossing the little stream and stepping through into the Otherworld before I continue my journey up through the gardens, and all the ladies did it with me together. It was wonderful.

We meditated at the pool and gazed at the flow forms, before heading up to the yew trees and walking through their gateway. We then passed beneath the archway with the wrought iron, archangel Michael’s sword over our heads, which we saw as the sword of sovereignty, rather than the archangel’s fiery blade. Once in Arthur’s Court, we took off our shoes and walked through the paddling pool, bathing our feet and beginning our spiritual pilgrimage in earnest. Afterwards we sat beneath the yews and just soaked in the atmosphere of that very healing spot in the Chalice Well gardens.

Next we moved up to the Lion’s Head, a tap where you can collect water from the Red Spring within the sanctuary of the gardens. After having bathed your feet, now you can take in the healing waters into your body and soul, having been purified and readied for the experience. We filled our bottles and, for many of the women, tasted the iron-rich water for the very first time. I love the taste, but it’s not for everyone!

From there we moved up to the holiest of holies, the wellhead. Here in this silent sanctuary we meditated on the waters with other pilgrims who gathered round in quiet companionship. Well, we tried to anyway. The pot smoke and noise across the street at the White Spring was growing, until someone blew a horn and the White Spring opened in earnest. Sigh. More on that later.

We ate a picnic lunch on the slopes of Chalice Hill, just beneath the apple orchards. The sun was shining, and it was an absolutely gorgeous day. We then headed down to the gift shop to pick up a few things, and then made our way to the Tor once again.

The climb up the Tor this time was different, with more people and the wind whipping around us. Thankfully the wind was at our backs, which felt like it was giving us a helping hand on the climb to the summit. Once there we came across a large group of people occupying the sheltered, sunny side of the tower, singing and chanting, and so we moved into the tower itself. It is a relic of the old monastery complex that used to be situated on the Tor, and is the second tower to be built there, the first having fallen after an earthquake.

We stood in the tower, looking out the doors and through the roofless structure to watch the few clouds scudding quickly across the azure blue sky. We spoke of the legends that surrounded this magical hill, and of who was said to dwell within it. We then sat in silence, taking it all in, when a lady and a man came in. She stood in the doorway and laughed, while he stood in the centre of the tower (and us) and began gyrating and shaking as if he was being electrocuted, followed by noises as if he was sexually climaxing. I rolled my eyes and left, resisting the temptation to give in to violence, and was followed by the rest of my ladies, bar one. She remained, giving him the stink eye while he continued, not allowing him to vibe her out of that space. Rock on, grrlfriend.

I then spent some time sitting on the hilltop facing west, and meditated, connecting to the energy of the Tor and the surrounding landscape, the elements and the myths and legends that abound in this magical place. I was interrupted five minutes later by some young teenagers nearby who, after smoking a joint, proceeded to record themselves making what they thought were sexual noises. Sigh again.

Eventually we headed back down the Tor and went to see if the White Spring was still open. It was, and so after a health and safety briefing we all went into the dim chamber of the Victorian wellhouse. Before this structure was built, the White Spring flowed from a fissure in the rock, coating all the plant life around it with a calcified deposit, created faery forms and shapes all around it. When cholera hit the town the decision makers decided to use the water from this spring, ignoring the calcium deposits evident all around. In a short time the pipes that connected the spring to the town were filled with calcium, and water had to be found elsewhere. It is so infuriating to think that with just a little common sense, a beautiful and sacred landmark could have been preserved.

All that being said, the wellhouse has now been transformed into a water temple. Ten years ago it was a fairly quiet place to come, reflect on the mirror pool in the centre and listen to the sound of water running all around you, down the floor and through little rivulets. In the last seven or so years however, you are lucky if you can hear the water at all, with all the other noise that visitors to the spring make in that echoing, high-ceiling chamber. Such was the case with our visit this time, as it was the last two times I have visited. There just seemed to be no regard for others visiting the site; it was all about doing your own thing and to hell with everyone around you.

The water in the big, round mirror pool was filthy. I’m not sure if it has been cleaned in recent years, but it sure didn’t look like it. It had a brown cast to it, with an oily film on the top from people jumping into it and putting all sorts of chemicals from their bodies into the water. The dipping pool is off to the left-hand side of the chamber, but people ignore it and go into the main pool anyway, regardless of whether people are trying to scry, meditate, pray or do anything near it. At any rate, I was deeply saddened to see the state of the water in the main pool. I myself have been in the water, many, many years ago now when the dipping pool didn’t exist, and the main pool was the only way to get in the water. I had booked the space for a private ritual, an hour of quiet reflecting and soft chanting, prayers and verbal offerings of thanks to the water before the doors opened to the public. We had showered before coming, and gave the space the reverence it deserved. It was a beautiful time, when everything was kept clean and the waters ran clear. It is a completely different experience now.

We had a look at the dipping pool, which was crowded all along one side by four naked men watching a naked woman bend over in front of them to get her clothes so that she could dress after going in the waters. We walked between them, appearing to be tourists having a look around as we tried to give the woman some space from these blokes. They just hung around and watched anyway.

A couple of us then moved to the Brighid shrine, and spent a few of minutes there before a large group of people took up the whole space, and we moved on again, to the shrine of Gwyn ap Nudd. The drumming had already started again, by a chap who moved from section to section providing the visitors with what he probably thought was a bitchin’, trippy experience. All he did was give me a headache from his loud, continuous hard drumming which reverberated off the stone walls and from which there was no escape. Singing began loudly from the group in Brighid’s shrine, competing with the drumming. I could take no more and had to leave. I sorely miss the simple sound of the water, and the sanctity that once occupied this space.

We left the White Spring annoyed, and all the ladies commented to me that they felt the space had been taken over by men and unthinking, male energies. I had to agree. The White Spring has definitely changed in these last 7 – 8 years, and not for the better. I feel a deep grief for the beautiful, quiet, sacred space that it used to be, and which is now a free-for-all with people climbing everywhere, doing anything they like without any regard for anyone else.

The day was getting on, and so we decided to head back to our apartments and take some time to ourselves before supper. We ate at the Who’d A Thought It inn near the market cross, and the food was pretty good apart from one meal which had to be sent back, as it was not what it purported to be. Tired from the day, we had an early night.

The next day the rain came. When it rains in Somerset, it doesn’t kid around. It rained all day, a soaking rain that is what makes this landscape so lush and green compared to the arid climate of our home county of Suffolk. But it was actually nice to be in the rain, as we have had so little in the last three years that we’ve nearly forgotten what it feels like! We spent the day shopping, and there are so many lovely shops to visit on the high street, down the alleyways and arcades. One shop that I feel I MUST mention, and which I hadn’t been in as it wasn’t there since my last visit, was Sons of Asgard. This is a witchcraft supply shop, and an amazing one at that. Well lit, with tons of homemade kits for everything you could possibly want, even a magical housecleaning kit with everything you might need to magical cleanse the home, all components made by the staff themselves! The room sprays and aura sprays I delighted in, as with my asthma I can’t burn incense indoors. These homemade sprays were divine, with essential oils, flower essences, crystal infusions and more. The choice! There were also witch ball kits, spell kits of all different kinds, and a good old-fashioned herbal apothecary corner where you could order quantities of however much you fancy, much like StarChild just a couple of doors down. I really, really loved this shop, and highly recommend it for your witchy needs.

We then had lunch at the Blue Note Café, which is still awesome. The food is just so good there. I had a wrap with a bunch of salads – you can get five little salads on the plate or chips instead, but I always go for the salads as they are delicious: potato, cous cous, coleslaw, bean and greek salad complimented my wrap. And all at pre-Covid prices too!

We visisted the Goddess Temple next, which opens from 12 noon to 4pm. I love the Goddess Temple. It’s just a room in the top of a building in a courtyard, but it’s so filled with love and energy and devotion that it has taken up a spirit of its own. You truly feel like you are entering sacred space because, well, you are! In their own Wheel of the Year, they are in the element of water for the summer months, and so the temple was decorated accordingly, with super soft music to reflect that energy. Both times I visited they were playing Jennifer Berezan’s “Returing” song, which is one of my favourites for meditating on the divine feminine, and which is also a firm favourite with the temple. I spent a large chunk of time alone within the circle of nine morgens, feeling their energy and blessings whirl around me in a clockwise circle as The Lady of Avalon gazed down at me from the large painting on the altar. Pure heaven.

We then did some more shopping before our feet and legs gave out, and we retreated back to our housing for a cuppa and some R&R before supper. We ate that night at Gigi’s, an Italian restaurant again near the market cross, and it was superb. I highly recommend their pizzas, and the risotto had rave reviews from the ladies too.

Another early night, followed by an early start awaited us. We filled up bottles of water at the taps outside the Red and White Springs before beginning our long journey across the widest expanse of England, back to Suffolk and our homes on the east coast. From east to west and back again we made our pilgrimage over four days, and we came away with some special memories. Glastonbury, thank you for your beautiful, sacred places, and I hope that they all maintain or redeem their respected status, now and forever more.

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New Milestone!

Today my YouTube channel reached 5,001 subscribers! I’m so thrilled that these lovely folks have joined me on this journey. I aim to not monetize this channel, so as to keep it advert-free. We’re bombarded with enough advertising every single day. So thank you all for supporting me, and I look forward to creating more content!

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Happy Midsummer!

Midsummer blessings to you all. May the light of the longest day reside in your heart to guide you in the darkest of nights. May the abudnance of the green and growing things nourish your soul. And many, many blessings from my little corner of the Suffolk Coast!

On this auspicious Midsummer day, I would like to share some very exciting news with you all! This year, I will be presenting a talk at Witchfest International, on 18 November at Fairfield Halls in Croydon, South London. More details to come, and I hope to see you there! More details to come…

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New Video!

Well, I decided to get the drone out, regardless of the weather and the wind. I went into the forest, where there was some shelter, and thought I’d put into images what I wrote in my last blog post. So, enjoy!

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The Deer’s Secret

The fallow deer stags have shed their antlers on the heath and in the forest in the last few weeks. As I found one atop a small rise next to ancient Celtic tumuli (burial mounds), dropped on the grassy tuft of a half sunken oak stump, I was gifted with this beautiful reminder that we all need to let go of certain things in our life.

It can be hard to let go. Whether it is past experiences, trauma, emotions or loved ones, eventually we will have to let go at some point. If we don’t, we will hinder ourselves as we travel through life on our own personal journeys. Just as a deer must shed his antlers in order to grow new ones, so must we shed that which no longer serves us in our lives. If the deer doesn’t shed his antlers properly, fully and completely, complications arise when the new ones begin to form. When the time is right, the stag knows when to let go. Sometimes it is with a simple, gentle shake; other times the antlers need to be knocked off purposefully on low trees branches or stumps. Either way, the setting is created for new growth.

The stag’s antlers grow throughout the summer, enabling him to display them proudly come the autumn rut. When growing, the antlers are covered in a beautiful, soft velvet to protect them and allow for room to grow into the shapes destined for that year. When the antlers are full grown the velvet begins to fall off, and the deer helps this process by rubbing it on trees to shed the last of the strips and allow the antlers to fully dry out and harden in the early autumn sunshine. The older the deer, the more points on the antler appear. There are some majestic old King Stags on the heath, whose great strong necks hold up a crown that is almost impossible to imagine. These antlers will help fight off any challengers to the does that have chosen to be with a certain stag, and are both an aggressive and defensive means, one tool of many for the continuation of the herd. When the antlers are no longer needed they are shed, demonstrating the cycle of life, death and rebirth, and the need to let go of that which no longer serves.

Though many in the Pagan community use the festival of Samhain to reflect on what no longer serves them in their lives, for me here living with the local deer community it is the month of May where I find this inspiration. Closely observing the deer, hauling buckets of water out onto the heath for them in the last two years as we have had so little rainfall, leaving offerings of seeds and song, I have established a relationship with them that is so beautiful and inspiring. They know me now, and I have watched as young prickets have matured into stags, and lead does hand over the power to a younger female as their reign over the herd comes to a natural close. I have spent an amazing three years with a white doe, always catching her watching me as I roam the heathland and knowing that she carries messages from the Otherworld in her spiritual capacity. Though she is now gone from us, her spirit lives on in the dappled light of the beech wood and the gentle breeze that blows the heather bells, ringing the faery bells in both this world and the Otherworld.

If we are unable to let go, we cannot move forward with health, vitality and authenticity. We will hinder our progress, sabotage our current situation and be mere shadows of who we could be. The deer remind us that letting go is not a one-time affair, but a process that happens again and again as we work our way through the spirals of life. Every year they must shed their antlers, this cyclic dance of the Antlered God reminding us of the process, and how to move through it.

Some of what holds us back are shadow aspects that no longer serve us in the present moment. While they may have been necessary coping mechanisms in their time, in this present moment they only stop us from being our true, authentic selves. We may have been hurt in the past, but that hurt lies in the past, and carrying it always into the present moment is a burdensome thing to bear. Instead, letting go again and again is the way to move forward, to develop the skills necessary to cope with what life is doing at this very moment in time. We must learn to shed that which no longer serves, and grow into our antlers of sovereignty. And when the time comes, we shed those antlers too.

From “Stories of the Knights of the Round Table” by Henry Gilbert, first edition, 1911.

The sword Excalibur that was given to King Arthur needed to be returned to the Lady of Lake upon Arthur’s death. We return that which no longer serves to the earth, to the waters of the subconscious, to the Otherworld and the Goddess in order for it to be transformed and wrought anew when the time is come. This cyclic myth may have been created through observation of the natural world, and the cycles of the flora and fauna that inspire Pagan mythology. We wield our swords of sovereignty, and then return the power to the land when the time is right, ready to forge anew what it is that we need in the next cycle, like a stag shedding his antlers and then growing anew.

As I look out over my laptop and out into the verdant green of the garden, the beech, ash and birch trees swaying in the light breeze, I am filled with the beauty and mystery of this earthly life and its cycles. We have come out of a long, difficult winter and now the summer is in full swing. The world has turned soft and lush, the bare branches of the trees now heavy and singing in full voice of the songs of summer. The blackbirds join in the song all day long, and the house martins beep beep overhead as they dive and glide to feed their young. That all important Mystery that lies at the heart of Pagan traditions is so abundant all around me, and I am so grateful for this journey. I know what it is that needs letting go, and I do it each and every day, until I find that I am no longer carrying it but have instead stored it away neatly on the shelves of life experience. I walk forward free, able to grow and be in my full, sovereign self.

Thanks to the Deer’s Secret.

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1,001 posts!

Yesterday, without knowing it, I posted my 1,000th blog post! I can’t believe it. Thank you so much to everyone who has been on this journey with me. Here’s to 1,000 more!

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New video: 15 Minute Water Meditation

Here’s a new video, with footage that I’ve shot over the last two years both in Canada and where I live in Suffolk, England. This video is all about finding healing, joy, peace and relaxation with the element of water. Enjoy!

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10 Tips On How to Write A Meaningful Book Review

I’ve read lots of books. LOTS. And with the internet it is now so easy to leave a review on anything, especially books. There are websites solely dedicated to book reviews. In this blog post, I offer some pointers on how to leave a meaningful, critical book review based on my own experience both as a reviewer, and as one being reviewed.

1.Read the book. I know, this may be a bit of a “duh”, but you’d be surprised how many people leave reviews when they haven’t read the book, or have only read a couple of the first chapters. This means that the review is uninformed, and is really a waste of the reviewer’s time and those who are reading the review. If you just can’t bother any longer with a book, put it down, give it away, whatever – but don’t offer a review. Writing one up based on a couple of chapters isn’t worth the effort. When I’m looking for a book to read and I come across these kinds of reviews, they can be irritating, to say the least as they say very little about the book itself. And as a writer, I’ve had people review my work without having read a single word. One review was a one-star review, which said “bought this for a friend, but I don’t believe in all this witchy stuff”. That review was completely uninformed, and affects the overall rating of the book itself. Don’t be like that person.

2. Offer a critical review, without the ego getting involved. As I read a lot, I also read a lot of book reviews. And some of them are simply ego trips by people who want to try and prove that they know more than the author does about a certain subject. This happens quite often in Pagan non-fiction books. Every book will get at least one review by someone who “knows better” and is showing off that knowledge in their review. When leaving a review, get yourself out of the way first and foremost. The review is about the book, not you. Don’t be tempted to show off.

    3. Offer a critical review. Following on from the point above, don’t be afraid to leave a critical review. If you didn’t like a book, say why and give examples.

    4. Don’t dismiss a book because you didn’t like something the author said. I have been guilty of this in the past, before I wisened up a little. If I came across something that I didn’t agree with, I’d stop reading and give the book away. What a waste of time and money! It is an immature reaction, which means getting your ego out of way. I’ve had to re-buy books I discarded in the past because I had been overrun by my ego. Keep reading, and take what you want out of the work, rather than throwing the baby out with the bathwater. Granted, some books can be so badly written, or so factually incorrect that after several of these instances you just give up. If that is the case, and you still want to leave a review, then state this clearly and the fact that you have not read the entire work. Give more than three examples, to show that you have tried your best but just can’t get on with it. Or just leave it be. Remember the second point above when writing that kind of review. Review intentionally, rather than writing a reactionary one.

    5. Review what is in the book, rather than what you would have liked to have seen in the book. This is another bugbear for me when I’m searching for a book and reading reviews to help my decision making. It’s totally unhelpful to read what someone wanted to see, rather than what was actually in the book. Speaking as an author, there are many reasons why some things haven’t made the cut in a book which you may have liked to have included. Word counts are a big thing. What your editors think should be included or not included is another one. What you want to focus on in your own work is highly important, so don’t play to the gallery. Review what is in the book first and foremost, as that is the most helpful to those who are reading the review.

    6. Rate the book appropriately. When handing out stars, be sure you do so correctly, as a single slip of the finger or mouse could mean that you write a glowing review, but only give the book one star. I’ve seen this on more than one occasion.

    7. Personal reviews are great to read, and offering a bit of yourself in the review will endear others to engage with it. Whether you liked a book or not, feel free to write about your own personal experiences with the book, or with the book’s topic without getting too self-involved or showing off. This puts a real person behind the reviewer’s handle, and lets you know that a real human being engaged with this work and is leaving a heartfelt review.

    8. If you must direct others to books other than the one you are reviewing, check your motives first and foremost. I have seen reviews (mostly bad) left by people in the Pagan community who are just ganging up on someone while trying to promote their mate’s work. Don’t be like those people. It’s bad form and is so easy to spot when reading reviews. If you really feel you must direct people to works other than the book you are reviewing, then try writing a blog post or a post on social media about the book or books you would recommend instead of putting that in another’s book review, as that can be so easily misinterpreted for the reasons that I have given above. It makes it suspect.  If you enjoyed the work and can offer similar examples, go for it – those are great reviews to work with, but be clear to state first and foremost why you enjoyed the book you are currently reviewing, before recommending others of a similar vein.

    9. What to include in a book review. It’s always good to start with a short summary of the book. Then move on to the important aspects of the work. Give each of these some attention, if there is more than one. Then give examples, and even short quotes if possible.  Summarise with a concise conclusion, and be sure to title your review appropriately, as well as leave the proper rating.

    10. Be respectful. As Net Galley states: “Be thoughtful and respectful about the work and the author. Aim for meaningful, not mean. Focus on the merits of the book, rather than the author as an individual.” Take your time when writing a review. Don’t rush it, and check your work, ensuring that there aren’t spelling errors, misquotes, etc. as this can make people turn away from your review.

    Happy Reading!

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    New Video: 15 minute relaxation

    Take a moment to relax, de-stress, calm down, take a time out -whatever you need to do with this 15 minute new video from my YouTube channel. Blessings!

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    The Heroine’s Menopausal Journey

    Menopause is tough. There is no question at all: it’s a statement of fact. It’s tough physically, mentally and even spiritually. And it’s something that I’m going through right now.

    Back in full lockdown of 2020, I had to have a hysterectomy. I was left with one ovary, which stopped working about a year later. In my family, menopause happens early anyway, and so I had already been perimenopausal for some years before. Since 2022, I have been going through full menopause, with all its symptoms and challenges. I joined an online community called HysterSisters on the advice of a friend who had already gone through this, and which gave me the information I needed pre and post surgery. Stuff that the doctors and nurses don’t tell you, stuff that only now is actually being talked about openly. In fact, my own GP in my little cluster of villages has now been giving menopause clinics online for the very first time, open to women and men and anyone interested in learning more. But it’s still something that affects everyone differently, much like the huge hormonal shift in adolescence, only now you’ve got a lifetime of experience, pain, trauma and joy to deal with on top of it all.

    The physical symptoms can be hard to deal with. The hot flushes are exhausting, to say the least. Imagine being as hot as you’ve ever been, sweating all over your body while doing nothing but sitting at you keyboard. You feel the heat rising from your heart to your head, and then down all over your body in a fiery wave of energy. If you’re lucky, it’s a short one that only lasts for a minute or two, and you may not have to change your clothes. If it’s a bigger one, you’ll soak your clothing and either have to deal with the discomfort of being in sweaty clothes and the possible smell that will follow, or bring a change of clothing with you wherever you go. Either way, once the heat has passed you are left with the cold, which sometimes can be even worse than the heat, especially in winter. It’s like stepping out from a nice, warm house and into freezing cold, horrible weather. The shock of the temperature change just gets into your muscles and bones, which by the way may already ache with the loss of estrogen. You might be cold for around 20 minutes, sometimes even until your next hot flush. It’s tiring, stressful and just shitty to deal with, in all honesty.

    I’ve gone through periods of having several hot flushes every hour, about one every 20 minutes over the winter holiday period. It settled down for a month, and now it’s back but not as bad, a short two minute one maybe one every hour. There’s also the hot flush that follows about a minute after you wake up, which is usually a big one which you should get out of bed for, otherwise you’ll have to change the sheets. There’s another big one that follows any hot drink you have, or a meal. It’s hard on the body, which makes it hard on the mind too.

    The sleeplessness is another symptom that I am currently trying to work through. I’ve never had sleeping problems, but now when I wake up in the middle of the night to use the bathroom, I just can’t get back to sleep. I have the usual hot flush while I’m in the bathroom, and then when I get back to bed my brain has woken up fully after that fiery energy, and thoughts just keep whirling around in my head with no respite. It can be three to four hours before I can fall back asleep. I then wake up exhausted each morning, with very low energy levels throughout the day. Sometimes I need a nap after lunch (thank all the gods I work from home) just because I can’t keep my eyes open any longer. These naps are pure heaven, because I am so tired that I just fall into oblivion for an hour. It’s bliss: no thoughts, no dreams, just completely leaving reality for a short time and giving my body and brain a break. And then I wake up, have another hot flash, and get on with my day.

    So why not just take HRT, some may ask? Well, I don’t do well with chemical supplements that affect my hormones, and as I had a serious fibroid and ovarian cyst problem, as well as breast cancer running in the family, taking estrogen for me is a definite no go. I’ve found some herbal supplements that have helped with my physical and mental symptoms which have kept me out of a deep, dark hole (Mulier’s Menopause Formula) but I still have to carry on through the majority of the challenge that menopause is throwing at me.

    So, I’m tired all the time, usually achy and having sweats throughout the day. My body is going through the ringer. As mind and body are one, this also affects my mental health. I’m a pretty resilient person mentally, but menopause-related depression has been a new experience for me. Thankfully I know how to deal with it when it comes on (herbal teas and getting out of doors) but the fact remains that just getting out of bed some days is a huge deal. There is still the trauma of the surgery that I feel I haven’t fully dealt with (just having to have the surgery all alone in lockdown, when no one was allowed with you inside the hospital was terrifying enough), alongside the new phase of my life as a woman that I am emotionally and spiritually entering.

    My religion and spirituality thankfully provide me with a framework for entering different stages in my life as a woman, for which I am eternally grateful. My goddess knows what I am going through. She’s been there, done that, gone through it every solar year, and every lunar cycle. She’s an example of resilience and strength that I can turn to, alongside my sisters on this same path who are/have gone through the same things that I have in my menopausal journey.

    As women, we know that we physically, mentally and spiritually have many challenges to face in our lifetimes, for most of us on a monthly basis. And we know that today’s society just expects us to “get on with it”, though thankfully that is starting to change with some trials in the workplace for menopausal women to have a space to retreat to, or days off when it just is too much to bear while working. I can only hope that this shift will extend to all women who, wherever they are in their cycles, can find the time and space to help themselves through it with support and understanding, instead of ignoring the issue and putting on a front that everything is fine because we can’t leave the imaginary competition that patriarchal systems have put into place. When I was in the workplace and having a monthly bleeding cycle, I used up so many “sick days” because I physically couldn’t get into work, either due to pain or flow or usually, both. If I ran out of sick days, then I would have to take unpaid leave, even though in my eyes my condition should have been classed as a short medical leave of absence. And gods forbid I actually get a cold or the flu and not have any sick days left. Even back in high school, I missed days of classes while I lay down in a dark room clutching my belly in the nurse’s office until it was time to go home, and hoping that the hour-long bus ride wouldn’t be too horrific.

    It’s been a tough 30 years for me physically and mentally with my monthly cycles, and now the final journey through menopause is one that I am trying to ride with dignity and grace. But some days are just harder than others, some weeks tougher than others, and experiencing all the physical and emotional changes is both interesting and extremely challenging. I feel like I am coming home to myself, after a long and arduous quest. There are still monsters to slay, mountains to climb and my own heroine’s journey to complete, but I feel that even though my body is exhausted and my psyche gone through the ringer, I have enough strength to get me through. At least most of the time I can feel that.

    The other times I am fanning myself, wondering when this will all end, face red and tired eyes closed as I ride another wave of experience.