balance

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Autumn Equinox Ritual

Here is an Autumn Equinox ritual that you can perform either alone or with a group. This is my favourite season and ritual, and so I look forward to it every year! Blessings of autumn to you all. xoxo

The autumn equinox is a time of balance, when the length of the day and night are equal. It’s a time to stop and take stock of the year, of where we are on the Wheel of the Year, deeply entrenched in the harvest season. Much as the harvest continues around us, so does our spiritual harvest manifest right now. It’s a time to look at what we have achieved over the year, our hopes and dreams that were dreamt in the winter, planted in the spring and brought to careful fruition throughout the summer. In this time of balance, we pause, take a breath and assess before we fall into the dark half of the year.

It is important to stop, and be in this moment of balance. Balance is not something that we achieve and then forget about it, no, it is something that must be worked at continuously. If you are in doubt about that, try standing on one foot for any length of time, and see how much effort that requires!

In this ritual, we stop and simply be in the moment for a while. But first, we must cleanse and prepare ourselves for entering into the dark half of the year, for we do not wish to carry some things forward into this new time. No, we release what we need to before we move into a period of rest, for we do not wish to carry everything with us. Instead, we pare down, we simplify so that we can obtain a true and sustaining rest in the darkness. We cleanse and purify so that we are truly ready to begin this new journey into the autumn and winter months.

What you will need for this ritual:

Incense or herbal smudge stick (or a hand-held fan if you cannot have smoke)

Autumn leaves and decoration for the altar

Offering

Ritual

Decorate the altar with autumnal leaves, nuts, berries, etc.

Cast the circle (scatter some fallen leaves around the circle, if indoors)

Call the elements

Call to the deities

Sit quietly and simply breathe for a few moments. Let your breathing slow down, let your shoulders and facial muscles relax. When you are ready, bring to mind that which you want to let go, that which you want to release before you walk into the dark half of the year. When you have this firmly in your mind, put your hands down onto the ground (or floor) and push that down and into the earth. Let the energy be transformed by the earth, even as the earth transforms the fallen leaves into vital nutrients for the next season. Release everything that needs to go, and then lift your hands and shake off any excess energy connected to that which you released. Sit for a few moments once again and just breathe.

When you are ready, you will begin to cleanse and purify your body’s energy. Burn a purifying incense blend, or use an herbal smudge stick and waft the smoke over and around all of your body. Use can also use a handheld fan, and simply let the element of air cleanse and purify your energetic body. Allow the smoke or air to dissolve or blow away that which still remains in your energy field that is unwanted. See the energy field around you glowing brighter as you perform this, beginning to glow with a rich, golden light emanating from your heart and encircling your entire body. When you have finished cleansing, sit for a moment in that golden aura, letting it fill your body and soul. If you like, you can pull in some energy from the earth and the sky, in the Roots and Branches mediation, to ground and centre yourself in this moment.

Now let us balance the chakras. Starting with the root chakra at the very base of your spine, visualise a red disk that is slowly spinning. See and feel this disk glowing brighter and spinning faster and more freely with your attention, opening up and allowing the energy from the base of your spine to travel upwards towards your sacral chakra, located in your spine at genital level. See the disk that resides there glowing orange, spinning slowly, and with the energy from the root chakra it begins to glow brighter and spin faster, throwing off anything that doesn’t belong. When this chakra is spinning freely, see the energy move upwards to the solar plexus chakra, located in the part of your spine that is centred between your breast and your belly button. See this yellow disk glowing softly and spinning slowly, and with the energy of the root and sacral chakras entering into it, it begins to glow brighter and spin faster, releasing anything unwanted. When this chakra is spinning freely and is open, the energy moves upwards towards the heart chakra. Here a green spinning disk revolves slowly on the spine near your heart. See this chakra’s green colour growing brighter and spinning faster as the energies from the solar plexus, sacral and root chakra enter into it. The chakra opens and spins faster, flowing freely until the energy moves upwards once again, this time to the throat chakra, where a blue disk glows and spins in your spine at your throat area. The energies of all the chakras below enter into this area, making the disk spin faster and glow brighter, until it is moving freely. Then the energy moves up to your third eye chakra, which glows a violet colour. The energies of all the free chakras below set this disk spinning faster and glowing brighter, until it is moving freely and spinning brightly. When this energy moves up to the final crown chakra, you feel in the crown of your head a white disk of light that spins ever faster with the energies of the chakras below, glowing brighter and spinning faster until it is moving freely.

Now feel all the chakras’ energies, spinning brightly and freely along your spine. When the crown chakra is ready, push the energy out into a fountain of white light that bursts out of the crown of your head and falls down through your auric field, blessing and energising it. Draw up the energy from the root chakra, bringing it up the body and fountaining out through the top of your head in a continuous, beautiful waterfall of energy and light. Continue with this for as long as you feel necessary.

When you are ready, gently close off the fountain of energy from the crown of your head. Draw in the brightly glowing chakra disks closer to your body, damping down their light a bit and “zipping up” their energy. You may keep the root and crown chakra open a little more, to receive grounding earth energy and astral divine energy throughout your day. Finish up the process of zipping up, and when you are ready open your eyes and take a few deep breaths to bring yourself fully back to the here and now.

Now is the time to mediate on the balance of darkness and light, on the theme of balance. See the autumn equinox as an opportunity to remind yourself that balance is not a static thing, but an active and moving energy that shifts and adjusts to everything around it. It flows, it moves, just as the energies of the seasons move through the land. Nothing is permanent, everything is in flow.

Welcome the dark half of the year, with the evenings that are now drawing in, the autumn winds and the changing colours of the leaves. This is a beautiful and wonderful time of the year, an enchanting time where we begin to let go and fall into the dark half of the year where we can find rest and recuperation. Allow it to happen, do not fight it and enjoy the moment of pause, like the moment between breaths, before the shift takes us into the season of autumn. Simply be in the moment. When you are ready, give your offering to the land in gratitude for all that you have received. Close down your ritual and, if you can, take a walk in nature to feel the energies of autumn flowing all around.       

Living Lagom 3
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Living Lagom 3

It’s been a while since I’ve written about my adventures with lagom. I had almost given up last year (as you might have seen from my last post where I was lamenting the greed and selfishness that was expressing itself in the British public at the start of lockdown) however I have quietly carried on, making small changes in my own life and finding that balance point not only spiritually, but on a very physical level as well.

Perhaps the biggest change for me has happened with my wardrobe. Some might think that this is a very superficial change, but actually, for me clothing has always expressed who I am. Like my writing, like my art, what I wear is a part of me, and upon reflection, a very huge part as it is what I present to the public every day. It is an intrinsic part of every human’s experience: what will they adorn/clothe themselves with today? Clothing can reflect so many things, from your own personality to your religion, culture, your musical or sporting preference and (sigh) financial status. It is a part of you, who you are and what you choose to share with the world.

Grad year, high school

My own clothing style started in high school, where I enjoyed the basics. Jeans, t-shirt or a plain coloured collared shirt (usually black) and dark knitted jumpers/sweaters in the winter. Black boots. Very monochrome, I enjoyed the darker colours from navy blue to grey and black.

Me in Jesus Christ Superstar

In college I discovered the bohemian style, and colour flared out from every angle of my wardrobe. I loved going to hippie and head shops, where the fabric and patterns from Guatemala reflected the hope and positivity in my heart (as well as some of the less than legal experiences I was having at the time, but which I have happily left to those days). I was a wild child, a flower child, a free spirit roaming across the country to land 3,000 miles away on the west coast.

A day off from the barn in Vancouver, BC

Eventually, that group of friends and culture dissipated, and I found my clothing habits changing again, to simpler and practical items. I was, after all, now working at an equestrian centre, managing the stablehands, and so I needed clothing that kept me warm in the winter and cool in the summer. It was back to jeans and t-shirts, plain colours and easy to wash and wear clothing.

Me (in the hat) and my sister

When I moved to the UK, that fashion sense followed me for a while, with a bit of a sporty/edgy kick as cargo pants were the rage and the skater fashion style emerged into the wider general public. Then my life was turned upside down, and I found myself working at a new age shop in Wales, where I was living at the time. The happiness of my flower power days tempted me back, in the search for better times and reliving memories that helped me get through the day. This sort of fashion stayed with me for many years, until I realised that as long as I was searching for happiness in the past, I would never find it in the present. Those days were over, and I needed to reflect my newfound independence from my previous self, while still acknowledging and enjoying the memories, as well as incorporating the lessons that I had learned along the way.

And so, once again, it was back to basics. And this is where lagom fits in. My core clothing style is unfussy, plain basics that allows me to be comfortable. I don’t need the flashy clothing to tell people who I am: if they are interested, they will ask. I don’t have to shout it from the rooftops.

And so I’ve come full circle, back to when I first discovered a style that I liked over 35 year ago back in high school. Plain colours, (though not as much black as back then), jeans, simple jewellery and footwear. Casual yet put-together.

And by finding what my core style is, I’ve been able to express that better through lagom. It’s not about buying more items that fit with my style, but about how to best express that style in balance. Creating a capsule wardrobe of around twenty items and then adding to that dependent upon the season has really helped.

In order to create capsule wardrobe, you need to have the basics of your own personal style. These are things that you know you will always reach for, which for me is jeans and a t-shirt or a collared shirt, sometimes with leggings. Take these items out of your wardrobe and put them aside. These are the keepers, the basics that you can use all year round.

My current closet for autumn, and yes, there is a picture of David Bowie as the Goblin King in there. Keep the magic alive.

Items that you don’t love, that don’t fit, that you haven’t worn since the last season it suited, give it away to charity. Then, with a much roomier closet now that you have gotten rid of extraneous wardrobe that no longer suits you, put your core items back in. Then consider the season that you are in. Autumn is here in the UK, and so I’ve pulled out my jumpers and long-sleeved tees. These seasonal items I keep in storage in a blanket box in the spare room, so that my closet isn’t overwhelmed with clothing I don’t wear because it is not in season. The shorts and summer shirts go into storage, and a few autumnal pieces come out. I do the same with winter and spring too: put away the items you love and know you will wear again next season, and get out what is appropriate. By doing so, you won’t have to shop for new clothes, but instead you are shopping your own wardrobe!

This is good for you, your bank balance and for the environment. Too often we can look at a closet or wardrobe that is full of clothing that is out of season, and the items that are relevant can get lost in the jumble. When I bring out my heavier winter clothing out of storage, it’s like falling in love all over again. Those cozy jumpers in the greys and darker colours just remind me of winter. In the spring, I get out my lighter shirts and bring colour back. In the summer, it’s all about practical wear, what I can wear while trekking about on the heathland and the coast, in practical gear that still reflects my own sense of style. And going into autumn – well, it’s my favourite season, so the basics are added to with those beautiful fall colours.

The blanket box where I keep my out of season clothing

This is a lagom way of dealing with your own wardrobe. You don’t have to go all Marie Kondo and minimalist to the extreme. What you are doing is finding the balance, where you can rotate your wardrobe and not spend a lot of money each season buying new clothing. As well, when you have a wardrobe that works together, you will find that when you are shopping for a new item, whether that is brand new or in a second-hand shop, you will take the time to really consider whether it works with the items you have. It’s all about using what you have, and not having too little, or too much.

And therein lies the lagom. You are not depriving yourself of clothing and creating a minimalist wardrobe of less than twenty items. You are finding your own style, rotating it according to the season, and falling in love once again with items that you haven’t seen for a year when you bring them out of storage. It’s a perfect system for me, where the anticipation of seeing the next season’s much-loved items coming out of storage brings me joy.

Storing your items is simple – like I said, I have a blanket box where I can keep the out of season items (coats included). If you have a spare room with a closet, you can keep items there. But don’t let it get away from you, remember the lagom rule: not too much, not too little, but just right. Don’t have a nice, uncluttered closet in your bedroom, and then an overflowing one in the guest room or in storage boxes under the stairs. Be specific, be discerning, and remember that each item of clothing that you re-wear, you are saving the planet just a little and also keeping your hard-earned cash in your own pocket.

If you would like to start looking at how to de-clutter, become more environmentally conscious and create a capsule wardrobe, there is a very good YouTuber in Denmark who creates wonderful videos to help you find your own style and system. Though the clothing brands she recommends every now and then are ethical brands, they are also priced sky-high, and so if you do need new items you can look for less expensive, good quality clothing brands such as H&M, who have their own brand of clothing made from recycled fibres and natural materials. Their Tencel fabric items are so soft and lovely, and I can highly recommend their denim shirts. As well, there are many H&M stores where you can drop off your old clothing, which they will recycle and give you vouchers off for your next purchase with them. If you would like some cash for your old clothes, this may be a hassle-free way to do it. And, of course, there are always charity shops!

Lagom is a way of life, of finding out where that balance point is for YOU. And that point changes with each person. Like milk in a cup of coffee, we each have our preference. But ask most Swedes, and they will usually say “lagom is best”.

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Spring Equinox – Riding the Energies

Tomorrow is the Spring Equinox in the northern hemisphere, the time when the days become longer than the nights, when the sun crosses the celestial equator. It’s a tipping point in the cycle, where new energies come into play. This crossover, this shifting of energies happens over and over again, in a never-ending cycle of the seasons, the play and dance of the sun across our planet’s sphere. How do we work with these energies?

Right now our world is in imbalance, and we see that reflected in everything around us. It can be devastating when one follows an earth-based tradition. The rampant destruction of nature, our capitalistic, over-consumption culture and the degradation of cohesive and compassionate communities is at an all-time high. We are seeing the effects each and every day, on the news and social media, an influx of information 24/7 that our brains aren’t wired to handle, which only leads to more stress and fear.

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As followers of an earth-based tradition, how do we cope with all this? We watch our consumption, we give back, we do the ecologically and socially responsible things. But we still have to cope with the stress, the fear, the despair sometimes. When it all gets too much, what can we do? For me, there are two answers. Watching funny David Bowie interviews (really, that man was not only a genius, but exceptionally funny!) and getting out in nature.

Getting outdoors is perhaps the best medicine we have, if we are able to get outside into the fresh air and sunlight, feeling the wind on our faces or looking at the vast expanse of stars overhead. For those who are not mobile, I know that this can present a problem, and we have to work with this as best we can, even if it is to sit by an open window for five minutes (close the doors to the room so you don’t lose all the heat in your home). If you live in a city, try to get out to a park (if you aren’t in quarantine). Any way you can, try to commune with nature, to refresh those bonds in our hearts and minds, to remind us of the beauty, power and strength that lies all around us, all the time. If you’re lucky enough to live in the countryside, so much the better.

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We can also work for ourselves, to strengthen our hearts and bodies, to connect with nature, our gods, the ancestors, the spirits of place, the fey folk. We can use the inspiration of nature. There is magic all around us, in the water that comes from our taps, in the air that we breathe, in the candle’s flame and in the earth beneath our feet. We can work with these energies to help us physically, mentally and spiritually. We are a creative bunch. There are no limits for the work that we can do with nature all around us. If we use the energies of the Spring Equinox on top of all these other energies, we are making good use of the time and tides of our lives.

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Tap into the energies of the growing light if you live in the northern hemisphere (or the energies of the growing darkness in the southern hemisphere) for your work. Pray, do magic, meditate, commune, establish your own personal connection to these energies. Work with the flow, not against it. Listen to the voices of the gods and goddesses, the ancestors, the Fair Folk. What do they have to tell you about right now? What advice can they give, and what can you do, for yourself and the world around you, to make it a better place? How can you be a better functioning part of your ecosystem? How can you ride the tide of this very special time, to do the work that you need to do?

As a suggestion, in the northern hemisphere, at the equinox we can do work to increase health, compassion, love, holistic living,  and peace using these energies. In the southern hemisphere, we can work with the energies to decrease panic, war, anger, ill-health and so on. It can be difficult to ride these incredible waves of energy at this time of year. Everything is thrown up in the air, and it only settles come the next holiday, whether that be Beltane or Samhain, depending on where you live. That is the time when we begin to see the manifestation of the energies, the reality of the situation. At the equinoxes, the energy is ethereal and wild, like the wind. But we can harness that energy, with a little imagination, courage and determination. We are the practitioners of the magical arts. We are the Dreamweavers and the Shamans, the Druids, the Witches, the Wiccans and everything else. We are the earth itself, she is us and we are Her. We only have to remember that, in order to live in balance and right relationship.

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Let’s use our hearts, our minds, our imagination. Let’s work for the benefit of all. Let’s take care of each other, and be the example that we want to see in the world. Things are difficult for most, yes, but we can help each other. We are not alone, we live with everything else on this planet. Our interconnectedness is what makes us strong, and our forgetfulness of this relationship is our downfall. Do what you can to make your environment strong and healthy, for everyone concerned, human and hon-human. Work your magic, pray by the moon, use the energies of the equinox to bring about change. Remember the Old Ways and the Old Ones, use the brilliance of current technology combined with the magic of herbs and stones. Use the gifts that lie all around us, and give back to the earth and each other. Take great care of each other.

Blessings of the equinox to you all.

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Looking Ahead to 2020

Globally we face some very challenging times. Whether it’s politics, climate change, religious persecution, war, famine, poverty and homelessness, we know that across the world things are moving in a direction which to many increases the fear for our future. The uncertainty, for ourselves, our loved ones and our planet makes us feel like we’ve lost hope, or that the rug has been pulled out from under our feet. Generations of people are pitted against other generations, the old against the young. The blame game is heavily underway, and there are many casualties. Tempers are high, the stretching point is at near maximum. We head into a new decade filled with uncertainty and anxiety.

So what can we do about it? Here in the UK, we’ve been rocked by a recent Trump-esque election result. We’ve seen it happening across the world, with a swing to the right in other countries. There’s a lot of anger and blame raging across the political world. However, it’s not just in the UK and America: in India, in Australia, in Brazil, Hungary, Turkey and the Philippines, the hard right is winning. If we simply blame one leader or political party such as Labour in the UK or the Democrats in the US, we miss the main point that we need to address. We are working with a very unfair system, ruled by media oligarchs and the billionaire press that use lies and sleight of hand to win elections and the votes of those who would previously never cast their lot in that direction. We need to look to countries that are framing the model that we wish to achieve, such as Finland with their new Prime Minister and their resistance to fake news through a very effective digital literacy campaign that has been underway for the past few years for people of all ages. George Monibot explains this very well in his video for the website, Double Down News.  He also offers up the beginnings of a solution, at a grassroots level that seems to be emerging worldwide.

From my perspective, we also need to remember to close the ranks when it comes to our progressive, left-wing allies. In the UK, the Tories are extremely good at closing ranks when it comes to opposition, and on the other side, the opposing leftist or centrist parties are just too busy trying to bring each other down in order to take the Tories place. Instead of working together, they’re too busy fighting each other. It’s utterly ridiculous. No one will win against those odds.

So we need to stand shoulder to shoulder with everyone who opposes the status quo. We need to support each other in order to succeed in creating a progressive, fair and equal system that works for everyone. How do we do that?

With our everyday words and deeds. It’s not just our vote in elections that matters. It’s how we live our lives. And yes, our lives will be altered and framed within the current political context, for sure. We’ll be worse off unless we’re part of the 1% that are receiving tax breaks and sending their money to offshore accounts. We’ll be fighting to put food on our table to feed our children, to keep our houses warm while receiving a tiny state pension, combating those who say that despite disability people need to return to work and then suffering the consequences horrendously while having their benefits cut or removed.  It’s not going to be an easy decade. But we can start at home, with each other, with our everyday words and deeds.

We can be kind to one another. We can support one another, despite political views, religion, race or creed. We can stand in solidarity for everyone in order to make this world a better place. It all starts with us, on a personal level. It means engaging in dialogue instead of closing it down because someone’s opinion is so different from our own. We have become so used to policing each other that it has led to a culture of echo chambers, where we just won’t listen to any other point of view or tolerate a different opinion. We know that We Are Right and that They are Wrong. We are creating such division from this perspective. We become good guys vs deplorables. How can we ever create unity when sowing the seeds of such discord?

Instead of looking out for number one, we look out for each other as well as ourselves. We see this working in Scandinavian countries, with a healthy social welfare system and free healthcare. It is a more egalitarian society than what we are currently witnessing in the UK and in the US. In Sweden, they have a wonderful word that encourages balance in everyday life. It is known as lagom, which means understanding the right balance. Not too much, not too little, but just enough. The word lagom has two potential origins: one from the Viking era, when a communal horn filled with mead was passed around and everyone took a small sip in order for there to be enough for everyone, and another possible origin, which derived from the Swedish word lag, meaning law. Both show an understanding of community and how rules and standards, both spoken and unspoken, can help us achieve the task of no one being left out or left behind.

And this is what I will personally be working with in 2020. I’ve already started, but I will be bringing the concept to the forefront of my consciousness in everything that I do. I might even start blogging about my adventures with lagom here, in order to keep my words and thoughts in right order, and to share them and receive feedback.

At the moment, I’m just beginning with a lagom attitude towards 2020. I know it will be tough, and for many people exceptionally difficult. I know I am blessed in many areas of my life. I will accept these blessings and return them to complete the cycle. There may be good luck or back luck ahead. There will be ups and downs, challenges and achievements. But working with lagom means that I work with balance. I’ve done so for many years with eastern philosophies, and so I’m experimenting with a different approach here.

It begins at home. It beings with daily interactions with people. When someone is railing at your political views, for instance, with lagom you can see that there is anger and misunderstanding, and that you can either get upset back or work towards the benefit of the whole. You can support those who need support, and get support back when you need it. It’s very similar to Druidic philosophy, of being a functioning part of an ecosystem, working for the benefit of the whole in a holistic sense. It’s not taking too much, and giving in return. Looking out for everyone.

So, my resolution last night was to incorporate more lagom into my life. In my relationship with my husband, my family, my friends, my community and the wider world. To meet the challenges that are coming with this balanced frame of mind, and to help to make this world a better place for all. To understand lagom in terms of running a household, a marriage, a business. To understand lagom in politics, culture and religion. To live lagom and not just think about it. I may disagree with someone, I may want different things out of life and for my community, but I will learn to work with people in a lagom manner in order to benefit the whole. To find lagom in the raging hormones of my menopausal, 45-year old body. To find lagom in work, and in fundraising and charity. To find lagom in the food that I eat. To find lagom in my environment, and spend as much time as I can ensuring that it’s not just the human community that I am applying this philosophy to, but to the entire sphere of my own shared existence.

I look forward to this journey, even though I know that the challenges are there, waiting for me and for everyone. But I have hope, coupled with a good dose of reality, in a very lagom kind of way.

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Rhiannon and the Art of Side-Saddle

jo weddingRiding side-saddle is both easy and difficult. It’s a strange dichotomy of being securely “locked in” and feeling like you’re going to slide out the side at any moment. I took lessons riding side-saddle, and also did some jumping. I even rode down the aisle at my wedding side-saddle!  When I compare this to working with the goddess Rhiannon, I can see how she is often portrayed as riding side-saddle, and I think the fact that she’s wearing skirts is only part of the reason.

If you have a voluminous skirt, it’s quite easy to ride in the normal fashion. Your ankles may be showing and perhaps even your calves (gasp, shock and horror!) but really, it’s quite do-able. But side-saddle just looks more elegant, even though it perhaps fits in with the conformity to “keep your legs together” so as not to be considered a “loose woman” in any shape or form. However, all that nonsense aside, side-saddle is fun and a challenge for any rider, whatever they choose to wear, whatever gender they associate with. My husband tried it, everyone in our Western riding group tried it, just to see what it was like. It’s good to try new things.

Riding side-saddle, you usually have your legs hanging down the left side of the horse. Your left foot is in a stirrup as usual, but your right leg is held above the left and “hooked in” with a curved bar just above the knee. This keeps your right leg in place, though you have to hold your right foot flat against the side of the horse the entire time in order to truly maintain that grip correctly. It’s almost like sitting with one leg crossed over the other, but not quite.

You need to have some flexibility in the spine and torso in order to keep the head, chest and hips facing forward as much as you can, while the legs are over on the left-hand side. It feels really good after a ride to get down and stretch out the other side of your body! It also takes a bit of balance, as it can feel like you are going to slide off the other side of the horse. As mentioned above, keeping the right foot in the correct position helps with this, but that feeling is still there. The emptiness on the right-hand side can be a little daunting, even as you feel fully strapped in with your right leg securely tucked under the leaping head, lower pommel or as it is sometimes known, the leaping horn.

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Rhiannon from The Avalonian Oracle, written by Jhenah Telyndru, artwork by Emily Brunner

This delicate balance, of security and instability, finds resonance within me with the stories of the Welsh goddess Rhiannon. She is often portrayed as a horse goddess, riding a white mare from the Otherworld and marrying into the human realms, there to face the trials and tribulations of such. She works to re-establish order, correcting her husband and fixing his gaffs, seeking her lost child, and enduring hardships and injustices while remaining true to herself. She literally carries the mantle of sovereignty, as a horse carries a rider, to take it where it needs most to be, to work in the world in co-operation and in compassion.

It can be a tricky ride. One minute you can feel secure, locked in and riding in the correct posture. Forget that posture for a moment, and then you are insecure, literally, feeling like you are going to slide down any moment. It’s a great teacher in remembering to hold true, figuratively and literally. Be mindful of everything you do, if you want to enjoy this ride. Because the moment you aren’t, you could lose your seat, whether that’s the seat on horseback or the seat of sovereignty, in the soul and in the wider world.

But once you understand the delicate balance, once you come to terms with this new way of being, it’s glorious. It’s elegant. It’s graceful. And I’m not just talking about riding side-saddle. This is what Rhiannon can teach us as well. To find a new way of being, to be in balance and staying true to yourself, being present and knowing that some things need to be endured in order to find the beauty in our lives. To carry the burdens with grace, to stay true to yourself.  Rhiannon is both the horse and the rider, enduring and carrying, guiding and taking the reins of sovereignty unto herself.

rhiannon bookI’ll be working closely with Rhiannon over the next few months, and I look forward to the insights that she brings. If you are interested in this goddess, there is a brilliant book written by Jhenah Telyndru, called Rhiannon: Divine Queen of the Celtic Britons. Jhenah works closely with Rhiannon and other Welsh goddesses in the Sisterhood of Avalon, which she founded in 1995. Do check it out, and all her work, it’s brilliant.

May you ride forth in the present moment, finding your centre and staying true. And remember, when it all comes down to it, horse-riding is merely the art of keeping the horse between you and the ground.

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Finding balance

Finding your balance point is a major part of this season, the season of harvest. We learn of need and abundance, of just enough and not quite enough. We learn what needs to be worked on still, and what we can sit back and enjoy. Having a birthday that falls right in the middle of the harvest season is a great reminder for me to stop, to take stock, in my own personal life. Too often for me the focus is outward, and rightly so in my opinion, working on deep integration and relationship. Too often too many spend their entire lives looking inward, and missing the entire outer experience of being in the world. The curse of self-awareness is a blinkered view of the world because the focus is centred on the self. When the self becomes “we”, however, our views can change rapidly. But right here, right now, I am about to celebrate another year’s passing in my life, camping with my husband, taking our canoe out and enjoying some time together away from all the demands of everyday life. With the equinox approaching, the crops still being taken in, the apples in my garden ripening, I see how everything in nature is working in a balance, where if something is out of kilter, it will more than likely fail.

Taking this time is essential for my own personal balance. Teetering on the tipping point of a situation can be gloriously inspiring, invigorating and exciting, but so can finding that harmony within. So many people feel alive only when they are tipped one way or another, but for me balancing in the middle of that teeter-totter was always the best place to be on the playground. Literally. I loved finding my balance, seeing the ends of the teeter-totter stretched out to either side, knowing that I could keep them both off the ground and in balance through finding my own centre. I didn’t need the drama of a great high or a low bump while sitting on the edge of that playground attraction – that middle place was the most exhilarating, where I found I used the most skill to find and maintain my own balance to affect the whole.

I’ve always had good balance physically. Learning to ski and ice skate from a very early age, riding bikes all summer long, I knew how to find and work with that sweet spot to my own advantage. With ice-skating in particular I loved spinning, finding that spot on the blade of my skate that allowed me to spin at speed in one place, ignoring the dizziness and simply being in the moment of perfect balance, often one leg lifted, creating beautiful shapes and feeling physically present and wonderful in that moment.

Spiritually, my work in Buddhism has helped me to understand the wisdom of the Middle Way. This is not to say that my life isn’t full of spiritual or emotional ups and downs, but instead the focus is to incorporate the teachings of harmony and balance into everyday life.

I simply don’t understand the need to create huge dramas when life is so utterly wonderful. I’m not saying my life is wonderful, for again there are equal amounts of pleasure and pain, work and enjoyment, life and death. But being in that moment of moving beyond opens me to the wonder that is so utterly inspiring to Druids the world over. It is that exquisite taste of awen, of inspiration, where souls meet and worlds are broken open into new and deeper meanings than ever imagined. That wonder is not just found in great highs and at the turning point of the lowest lows, but also in perfect balance.

This harvest season, as we approach the equinox, I’ll be working further with balance, opening my eyes to see it in the world around me, to allow it to inspire me further in my work. In the heathland and forest of my home, where the ecosystem maintains itself without human intervention. In the cycles of water and wind that roam over our blue planet. In the dance of stars and moons that hurtle through time and space. And at the centre of it all is balance, even as the world spins without, here, at the very centre is a stillness that is so exquisite there simply aren’t even words to describe it.

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Choosing your battles

We often spend so much of our energy needlessly. Disputes, arguments, feuds, grudges, long-held anger and frustration are just some examples. We need to choose our battles wisely, for they are not all worth fighting.

Sometimes there is nothing we can do. When faced with ignorance or denial, we are often facing an impassable wall upon which we can either hurl ourselves time and again, or simply shrug and walk away. It is not our duty to make the ignorant wise, or to force someone into changing their mind. That can only change from within. Our energy is a precious resource that must be used wisely. There are many fights that are worthy of our time, but we don’t have to attend every argument that we are invited to.

Think about the energy used in holding a grudge against someone, for a few days, a few weeks, a few months or a few years. How could that energy have been better spent? How much energy is involved in a family feud, from all sides involved? How much time is wasted arguing on social media, trying to prove your point and making a stranger change their mind? How much energy is spent talking behind people’s backs, trying to get people “on your side”? Is it really worth it?

Even if it’s something you truly believe in, proselytising the issue doesn’t really do much. In fact, it can even have the adverse effect of pushing away those who are either in agreement or disagreement: they’re simply tired of the hearing of your message over and over again. That’s not to say that we shouldn’t have opinions, and that we shouldn’t share them, but when we spend so much energy shouting into empty space then maybe it’s time to rethink the situation.

People fall out with each other over the silliest of things sometimes. Letting ego get in the way, they don’t want to listen to anyone’s version of events other than their own. To do so would compromise their reality, the story that they have told of themselves. People often don’t want to change their story, for it may put them in an unflattering light. We have to evaluate the situation and say, “Right. I can offer my version of events, I can try to communicate with compassion, but I will only spend X amount of time of this. I’m not here to change anyone, because I know that true change must come from within. I can walk away at any time, for there are no “winners” or “losers” in this situation, only wasted time”. When we set these parameters, we can work with others without losing our minds.

People are going to behave in any number of ways. We can’t change their behaviour. What we can change is our response to their bad behaviour. We can let them know that we do not approve, and then we can walk away, wishing them well and focusing on the things that really matter in our own lives. Let it go. Walking away is not losing. It is opening up a new path for you to find better things to spend your time on.

I have seen ridiculous grudge matches and people trying to save face on all manner of social media. I have known families who don’t talk to each other for reasons which are entirely inaccurate, the transgression being entirely made up in their own heads. I have seen people treat others very poorly in face to face interactions. We need to find the balance point between standing up for ourselves and learning when we are expending energy needlessly.

Some battles are worth fighting for. We just need to have the right goals in mind when we are fighting. If we are trying to change all our friends’ eating habits to match ours because we are vegan, what really is our agenda here? Instead of spending time arguing or posting social media comments about it, why not spend time volunteering at an animal shelter if your ultimate goal is to help ease the suffering of other animals? If we are spending time trying to undermine someone’s work or persona, what is the real agenda there? Why would we want to do that? Wouldn’t the time be better spent focusing on yourself? Blowing out someone’s candle does not make yours burn any brighter. If we refuse to speak to a family member because they did something wrong in the past, shouldn’t we look to our own lives and remember the ways that we too have failed or wronged someone? These are only a few examples, and some may be rather simplistic. They all have multiple ways of dealing with the issue at hand.  What matters most is our intention.

We don’t have to put up with anyone’s crap, if you’ll pardon my vernacular. But we don’t have to start slinging our own either. Either way, you’ll just end up with a stink in the air.

I’ve walked away from people and situations in order to focus on what really matters. Even when I was totally “right”. It has saved me a lot of time and trouble. I could have spent months trying to change other people’s minds, but instead I worked on what really matters to me. I can say with all honesty that the energy was well spent, and the outcome even more positive than I had dreamt of in terms of benefiting myself and my work/goals/life. I can’t change other people, they’ll do what they will do, with their own demons to fight, their own achievements and successes to encourage them. I have to live my life, not try to please or fit into theirs. I can walk away into better experiences.

Choose your battles wisely. This present moment is what really matters. Live it, instead of losing yourself in a battle that doesn’t or shouldn’t even exist. Life has difficulties enough already. Be kind, be compassionate and be mindful. You may find the battles beginning to lessen, and a peace of mind settling deep within. Enjoy that, for that is what life is all about.