Zen Druidry

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What Is It Like Being A Pagan Author?

What is it like being a Pagan author? Well, it might not be quite what you think! Growing up, I had always wanted to be an author. I wanted to write fantasy fiction, and indeed have written a fantasy book and hope to do more. This year I’m considering trying my hand at some modern, witchy fiction, alongside other books that I am working on. I hope to post up samples up on my Patreon page, along with other writing that I am currently working on later in the year. So, back to the question, what is it like being a Pagan author?

It’s wonderful to be able to share my journeys, my insights and my experience with my readers. To put information out there into the wide world, and have people respond to it is incredible. It can feel like you are setting your work free, to go where it needs to, while at the same time feeling scary as you don’t know how it will be received. But I have had the joy of so many people connecting with me, messaging me, emailing me and commenting here on my blog and on my other social media platforms about how much my work has resonated with them. It fills my heart with joy to know that I have helped, inspired or guided someone on their journey. That in some way I have helped others in this community.

When writing a book about your religion or spirituality, you are sharing a very intimate part of yourself. You are putting this out into the world, and hoping that it doesn’t get destroyed by negativity. You want to be well-received, or else it can feel like sending your child to school and they come home and tell you how they’ve been bullied all day. Putting work out there means sticking your head above the parapet. You are doing something you love, but you have to hope that the outside world will not destroy that love. It takes courage to write.

However, if you are considering becoming a Pagan author, don’t give up your day job! For most authors in any genre, writing is something that they have to do on the side, because the pay just isn’t that great. Until you can sell hundreds of thousands of books, your income will not support this career choice full-time. Many authors, myself included, have other platforms that help to support us, such as on Patreon. I also have a Bandcamp page, where I share music, podcasts, meditations and more as a sideline to my writing. If I was living alone, I wouldn’t be able to survive on these avenues alone. Many people know of my YouTube channel, and again that is an excellent venue for my creativity, but I do not make any money from it, as I refuse to monetise my channel. If I can’t control the type of advertising that appears on there, I won’t do it, and I feel that there is too much advertising in the world as it stands. To think that a MacDonald’s advert could appear in one of my videos just makes my skin crawl.

Royalties paid on books range from the usual 10% net income on every sale (that means that after everyone such as the retailer, the publisher etc. have taken their cut, you then get 10% of what’s left), to perhaps 15% if you sell more than 10,000 copies. Some publishers go up to 20% or 25% if you sell  a whole bunch more, but again that is net income and still isn’t all that much. Audiobooks usually offer the same, but can go up to 25% from the start, depending on your contract. E-books, similar percentages applies.

As a Pagan author these days, you are also expected to do a bunch of marketing. The publishers will initially do a big push at the release of your book (if they are any good), but then it is usually up to you to maintain the momentum. If you already don’t have much time on your hands, using any spare time for marketing can be an issue. Knowledge of all the different platforms is required, and many Pagan authors have to teach themselves how to use them, how to create a “brand” for themselves and more. Again, this is not an easy thing to do, especially if you are not into that sort of thing (most of us aren’t).  It doesn’t always work either, which can result in taking time away from your writing. Getting a publicist can help with this, but the amount that you pay them will usually cancel out, or at least take a huge chunk of any profit you do make from the sales of your book. We are not big-time authors, we are selling to a very niche group of people with very different interests than your popular crime, horror, thriller, fantasy, or romance author.

Essentially you will need to be tech savvy, when all you want to do is snuggle up with some cottagecore.

The time it takes to create a good book is also a factor. It takes me usually a year to research for a new book, and there will always be years of learning before then which are added to the mix. Then there is a year of writing that follows.  A good book doesn’t just happen in a couple of months. After the research and the writing, it then goes through several editing processes. Then there is the discussion of artwork (the book covers and interior artwork), and the correspondence between yourself and your editors regarding these and everything else mentioned above.

It has a lot to do with finding a balance between all these things: between the work that is less enjoyable than writing, and the writing itself. It is also being open to trying new experiences and taking on information and suggestions from others regarding your work. There is an essential task of taking good care of yourself as well, so that you don’t burn out while trying to balance all these things such as the research, the writing, the marketing, the design, the branding, etc. It is essential to take some time out to rest, to recharge and to ground yourself and your practice once again.

Often, as authors we are so busy writing about our spiritual practices that we don’t get much time to actually do them!

These periods of rest are necessary so that you have the energy to go somewhere new with your practice, to try new things and have new experiences. This will allow you to write about these new experiences and lessons instead of just re-hashing all your previous material.

Having a good publisher is for me essential. Self-publishing is extremely difficult, and it a lot of hard work. Publishers usually have much larger platforms to operate from than an individual, and so will sell more books generally. There are one or two self-published Pagan authors who have made it on their own, some of whom are now publishing through well-known companies. Finding good self-published material can be a challenge, as the expertise in editing, design and manufacture usually just isn’t there. Producing your own self-published work requires a knowledge and skill set that most authors don’t have and need to learn. Despite years of working in marketing for a world famous concert hall, my two self-published works still only sell a handful every year. My works with publishers such as Llewellyn sell a great deal more.

I am so grateful to my publishing team at Llewellyn for all that they have done for me and my work. I have published my last two books with them (The Book of Hedge Druidry and also The Path of the Hedge Witch) and am releasing another one with them in the autumn of 2024. Their years of experience and expertise has helped me to create my best work with them. Just with regards to proof-reading and suggestions in the editing process, they are hands down the best. They are also the oldest publisher of Pagan material, and so have that accolade behind them, reaching not only those of us who have been buying their material for decades, but also reaching out to people new to Paganism and all its various traditions. They are a company that has evolved over the decades, learned invaluable lessons and now produce the most wonderful books!

We authors live in a very different world to those authors who were releasing books 20, 30, 40 years ago. We have had to learn to multitask on a whole other level. We live in a consumer culture, and that takes its toll on the writer. We are expected to create content for various online platforms, and not just produce a book. We have and maintain our own websites and social media. Requests to do unpaid work, such as speaking at conference, writing articles for magazines, do interviews for other brands on their platforms: it all adds up. Authors often can’t give enough to meet the demand for free material. I know of authors that have over 88,000 subscribers on YouTube, but have less than 20 people supporting them on Patreon. So many people just want to consume content for free. The books often get lost, or ignored. Who can be bothered to buy and read a whole book when there is so much info out there online for free? Or available via illegal downloading?

That is another issue that authors today face: illegal sharing and downloading of their books on various internet sites. Most of these are scams intended to install trojans on your device, but some actually do offer your book to others for free. I’ve had to tell people to take down my book from their websites, as what they were doing is illegal. If anyone is offering you a pdf version of a book, know that it is an illegal download, and the author is not getting paid one penny for it. If money is tight, there are always libraries and second-hand book shops both in the flesh and online that you can visit to obtain the material legally, and still allow the author the benefit of the sale of at least one book in the process. I’ve written a whole other blog post about that HERE.  

Authors just have to try to navigate living in a world that is all about consumption, rather than conservation. It is hard to live and work in this kind of environment and still preserve the work that we are able to produce. We can’t give enough away for free, and so others will do it for us.

This takes me on to the issue of artificial intelligence.  The upside to all your hard work means that you reach a greater audience of people. The downside is that you reach the wrong kind of people, who are willing to take advantage of your hard work without doing any of their own. As of writing this blog post, I’ve had at least two of my books put through an AI programme to be “rewritten” for someone else to cash in on. And currently there is no law to stop them from doing that. When buying books, please do try to ensure that they are written by actual authors, rather than robots. Check for a website for the author, as well as taking a look at how many books they have released lately. For example, the “author” Mari Silva released four or five books in February 2024 alone. This either means that there is a group of ghost writers going under that name, or that the works have been processed and stolen from other authors using artificial intelligence. The fact that within six months to a year of some popular book releases by real authors in the community, “Mari Silva” then releases a book on the same subject, with similar contents just differently arranged. This deeply suggests an AI theft of someone’s hard work. And with the programmes being so good lately, it’s impossible to tell the difference between a real author and a robot just from reading the work.

Again, this all relates to a culture of consumerism, with its inherent greed, rather than a culture of preservation. We need to help preserve the hard-working authors that do the work, and who usually get paid very little in return in comparison with other forms of employment. We need to support the authors we love, however we can, whether that’s moral or financial support. We also need to buy more books, if we have the resources, instead of getting all our content online through other means.

Of course I am biased in my opinion, because I am an author. But I am also a reader, and I LOVE books. There is nothing like holding a new book in your hands. I remember saving up my pennies in my early days of college back in 1991, and then doing the hour-long bus journey to the witchcraft shop in downtown Montreal where I could buy a new book to help me on my journey. These books and their authors became not only my mentors, but also my greatest spiritual friends. Even though some have passed on from this world these past 30 years, their words still live on and I feel their presence in my life and in my work.

Being a Pagan author is a wonderful career, if you can make it work. It’s not an easy route to success, and it still succumbs to the dream of “overnight fame” and the like. The odds of that happening are similar to being an overnight pop star, or YouTube influencer. You can produce the most beautiful content on any platform, but whether or not it gets picked up is rather random.

However, if you have something to say, if you have a skill to impart, if you have inspiration whispering in your ear to go and write than book, then go for it! And I wish you all the best! Knowing that you can make a difference in people’s lives is worth all the challenges that you will face in this line of work.

Blessings to you all.

Available now, my new book – The Path of the Hedge Witch: Simple, Natural Magic and the Art of Hedge Riding: https://www.amazon.co.uk/Path-Hedgewitch-Simple-Natural-Riding/dp/0738772283

Join my Patreon community: https://www.patreon.com/joannavanderhoeven

Website: http://www.joannavanderhoeven.com/

Bandcamp (podcasts, music and more): https://joannavanderhoeven.bandcamp.com/

Blog: https://downtheforestpath.com/

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YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCkI8C2dqmUb-eatjxaDWXmw   Buy my book – Hedge Druidry: A Complete Guide for the Solitary Seeker: https://www.amazon.co.uk/Book-Hedge-Druidry-Complete-Solitary/dp/0738758256

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New video: The First Signs of Spring

See all my videos on my YouTube channel!
We Are Our Deeds
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We Are Our Deeds

As we approach the end of the calendar year, my thoughts turn inwards in reflection. It’s a time to take stock of the year that has just gone, and to plan for the coming year ahead. The thought however at the forefront of my mind this moment is the saying: we are our deeds.

Actions really do speak louder than words. How many New Year’s resolutions have fallen by the wayside, words that were not acted upon? What we do says a lot more than what we say. Just look at the politics of the UK right now. It’s all words, and actions that are either missing or which belie those very words. It’s seeking to be in the limelight, to be popular, to further one’s own personal agenda. It’s corruption, lies and squirming to get out of a self-created hole. It’s a real mess, to put it mildly.

Be the change that you want to see in the world. How many times have we heard that phrase? Be the change, it says. It’s up to you to put in the effort: it is your deeds, not your words that will shift the narrative. How we live and what we do will say more than words ever could. We have enough examples in politics and the media of those who words do not accord with their deeds, of lies and deceit, scandal and cover-ups. Let’s not be like them. Let’s live our lives better.

Our lives are totally integrated. With others in our household, with the ecosystem where we live, with the entire planet. As such, we must look towards our own personal integrity, to ensure that the integration is real. If we really want to integrate and be an integral part of the whole, we need to do things differently. We have to have our own personal integrity, first and foremost. Without that, what are we? Where are we?

Words are important, there is no doubt about that. Keeping to your word increases your own integrity, your might and your main: your personal power. Following up your words with actual deeds keeps them honourable. These actions build within us, until we find our lives changing, because we have changed. Intention means nothing without action.

We will all fail at something at various points in our lives, whether it is living up to our words or our own expectations However, it is when we begin again, when we follow up failure with action, when we pick ourselves up an try again that we find integrity. We can learn as much from our failures as from our successes. It’s in the action of doing, of trying, where we learn the lessons, not in the thinking of it. Thinking is an abstraction. If you want true change, our deeds must follow our thoughts and our words.

There are things that need to change in my life, and areas where I can do better, be better. At this time of year, I am clarifying those issues, honing them down to a single statement that I can remember to put into action when a situation calls for it. It’s not enough to have a vague idea of where I’m going or what I’m going to do in a certain situation. An action plan is called for, so that when it arises in any circumstance I am prepared with the tools necessary to take action, to allow my deeds to prove my words.

This year, I urge all those who are making New Year’s resolutions to do the same. Hone and refine what it is that you wish to change, to a single, simple sentence. Write it out, if you can. Pin it up where you can see it every day. Say it to yourself morning and night. Integrate the words into your very being so that when the situation calls for the change, you will remember your words, your oath and your resolve. And you will do the right thing. Your deeds will reflect you. Your deeds will say more than your words ever could.

In this time of winter, when the short days and long nights bear down upon us, think about integrity and integration. Think about words and deeds.

And do the thing.

Blessings of the winter solstice to you all, and happy new year.

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New Video: Beloved Autumn and Samhain

I’ve just uploaded a new video onto my YouTube channel: “Beloved Autumn and Samhain”. I hope you like it 🙂

https://youtu.be/TsPJHrGZjo4
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Autumn Equinox Ritual

Here is an Autumn Equinox ritual that you can perform either alone or with a group. This is my favourite season and ritual, and so I look forward to it every year! Blessings of autumn to you all. xoxo

The autumn equinox is a time of balance, when the length of the day and night are equal. It’s a time to stop and take stock of the year, of where we are on the Wheel of the Year, deeply entrenched in the harvest season. Much as the harvest continues around us, so does our spiritual harvest manifest right now. It’s a time to look at what we have achieved over the year, our hopes and dreams that were dreamt in the winter, planted in the spring and brought to careful fruition throughout the summer. In this time of balance, we pause, take a breath and assess before we fall into the dark half of the year.

It is important to stop, and be in this moment of balance. Balance is not something that we achieve and then forget about it, no, it is something that must be worked at continuously. If you are in doubt about that, try standing on one foot for any length of time, and see how much effort that requires!

In this ritual, we stop and simply be in the moment for a while. But first, we must cleanse and prepare ourselves for entering into the dark half of the year, for we do not wish to carry some things forward into this new time. No, we release what we need to before we move into a period of rest, for we do not wish to carry everything with us. Instead, we pare down, we simplify so that we can obtain a true and sustaining rest in the darkness. We cleanse and purify so that we are truly ready to begin this new journey into the autumn and winter months.

What you will need for this ritual:

Incense or herbal smudge stick (or a hand-held fan if you cannot have smoke)

Autumn leaves and decoration for the altar

Offering

Ritual

Decorate the altar with autumnal leaves, nuts, berries, etc.

Cast the circle (scatter some fallen leaves around the circle, if indoors)

Call the elements

Call to the deities

Sit quietly and simply breathe for a few moments. Let your breathing slow down, let your shoulders and facial muscles relax. When you are ready, bring to mind that which you want to let go, that which you want to release before you walk into the dark half of the year. When you have this firmly in your mind, put your hands down onto the ground (or floor) and push that down and into the earth. Let the energy be transformed by the earth, even as the earth transforms the fallen leaves into vital nutrients for the next season. Release everything that needs to go, and then lift your hands and shake off any excess energy connected to that which you released. Sit for a few moments once again and just breathe.

When you are ready, you will begin to cleanse and purify your body’s energy. Burn a purifying incense blend, or use an herbal smudge stick and waft the smoke over and around all of your body. Use can also use a handheld fan, and simply let the element of air cleanse and purify your energetic body. Allow the smoke or air to dissolve or blow away that which still remains in your energy field that is unwanted. See the energy field around you glowing brighter as you perform this, beginning to glow with a rich, golden light emanating from your heart and encircling your entire body. When you have finished cleansing, sit for a moment in that golden aura, letting it fill your body and soul. If you like, you can pull in some energy from the earth and the sky, in the Roots and Branches mediation, to ground and centre yourself in this moment.

Now let us balance the chakras. Starting with the root chakra at the very base of your spine, visualise a red disk that is slowly spinning. See and feel this disk glowing brighter and spinning faster and more freely with your attention, opening up and allowing the energy from the base of your spine to travel upwards towards your sacral chakra, located in your spine at genital level. See the disk that resides there glowing orange, spinning slowly, and with the energy from the root chakra it begins to glow brighter and spin faster, throwing off anything that doesn’t belong. When this chakra is spinning freely, see the energy move upwards to the solar plexus chakra, located in the part of your spine that is centred between your breast and your belly button. See this yellow disk glowing softly and spinning slowly, and with the energy of the root and sacral chakras entering into it, it begins to glow brighter and spin faster, releasing anything unwanted. When this chakra is spinning freely and is open, the energy moves upwards towards the heart chakra. Here a green spinning disk revolves slowly on the spine near your heart. See this chakra’s green colour growing brighter and spinning faster as the energies from the solar plexus, sacral and root chakra enter into it. The chakra opens and spins faster, flowing freely until the energy moves upwards once again, this time to the throat chakra, where a blue disk glows and spins in your spine at your throat area. The energies of all the chakras below enter into this area, making the disk spin faster and glow brighter, until it is moving freely. Then the energy moves up to your third eye chakra, which glows a violet colour. The energies of all the free chakras below set this disk spinning faster and glowing brighter, until it is moving freely and spinning brightly. When this energy moves up to the final crown chakra, you feel in the crown of your head a white disk of light that spins ever faster with the energies of the chakras below, glowing brighter and spinning faster until it is moving freely.

Now feel all the chakras’ energies, spinning brightly and freely along your spine. When the crown chakra is ready, push the energy out into a fountain of white light that bursts out of the crown of your head and falls down through your auric field, blessing and energising it. Draw up the energy from the root chakra, bringing it up the body and fountaining out through the top of your head in a continuous, beautiful waterfall of energy and light. Continue with this for as long as you feel necessary.

When you are ready, gently close off the fountain of energy from the crown of your head. Draw in the brightly glowing chakra disks closer to your body, damping down their light a bit and “zipping up” their energy. You may keep the root and crown chakra open a little more, to receive grounding earth energy and astral divine energy throughout your day. Finish up the process of zipping up, and when you are ready open your eyes and take a few deep breaths to bring yourself fully back to the here and now.

Now is the time to mediate on the balance of darkness and light, on the theme of balance. See the autumn equinox as an opportunity to remind yourself that balance is not a static thing, but an active and moving energy that shifts and adjusts to everything around it. It flows, it moves, just as the energies of the seasons move through the land. Nothing is permanent, everything is in flow.

Welcome the dark half of the year, with the evenings that are now drawing in, the autumn winds and the changing colours of the leaves. This is a beautiful and wonderful time of the year, an enchanting time where we begin to let go and fall into the dark half of the year where we can find rest and recuperation. Allow it to happen, do not fight it and enjoy the moment of pause, like the moment between breaths, before the shift takes us into the season of autumn. Simply be in the moment. When you are ready, give your offering to the land in gratitude for all that you have received. Close down your ritual and, if you can, take a walk in nature to feel the energies of autumn flowing all around.       

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Places of Power

New video now available on my YouTube channel! Lammas blessings. xoxo

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Lammas Lessons

Lammas/Lughnasadh Blessings!

The harvest season is upon us, and has started weeks ago here in Suffolk, East Anglia. The fields of wheat began to be taken in by the combine harvesters mid-July, and the sound of machinery in the distance has been part of our daily routine now, and has also gently lulled us to sleep. Tractors abound on the small country roads, and driving around can sometimes be a hair-raising experience. But harvest is here, and we are thankful.

The wheat is again very small this year, as this is the third year of drought. No rain in the spring and early summer, and now that it’s time to take the crops in, now we get the rain. This makes it difficult for the farmers to harvest, as this is a crop that needs to be dry when being taken in. Challenges lie ahead, and not just for the farmers.

Our climate is changing, due to global warming. It’s up to us to act now, but I probably didn’t need to tell you that. Everything that we do, no matter how small, makes a difference if the majority of people do it. We can’t leave it to governments to regulate – they have too much of a vested interest in the status quo financially. The revolution must start at home, in quiet but effective ways.

I’ve always loved the word, revolution. Thinking about it from a Pagan context, I see the Wheel of Life revolving, bringing change. As the popular chant goes, She changes everything She touches, and everything She touches changes. The Wheel turns, and we learn with each revolution how better to live on this planet, hopefully getting wiser with the more information that we have to hand. Hopefully.

It’s always at harvest-time that I feel the strongest turn in the Wheel of the Year. Perhaps it’s because my favourite season is approaching, and the culmination of the dreams that we had in the winter and the seeds planted in the spring are now coming to fruition. We see the results of our work. It’s that tangible evidence that helps us to evolve,  to revolve, to become our best selves that we can be in this moment in time. Our souls are revolving along with everything else on the Wheel, and change is always immanent. Nothing stays the same. It’s up to us to make this change one that is positive, rather than seeing to our own destruction.

And so this Wheel’s revolution has laid bare many things that have long gone hidden, unnoticed, or uncared for here in this part of the world. Our government’s hypocrisies, lies and incapability have been laid bare for all to see, and hopefully a great change will come with the next election. We see the weather changing dramatically all across the world, and also in our own home region as well, knowing that we must be the change we want to see in the world. The harvest is in, and it is not a good one. If we are to survive, we must learn this hard lesson that the world is providing us.

I can see ways in which, in my own life, changes need to be made and will be made, starting immediately. Lammas and harvest time is the best time to take stock of how your life is going, where it is going and how you can change it so that your future harvests will be bountiful. You have the capability to change yourself, for no one can do it for you. The responsibility lies with each of us as individuals, and not just in governments, corporations and big business. Small changes, made on a mass scale, can make a difference.

As I walk the newly harvested fields, the dried stumps of this year’s crop all that remains, I reflect on my place in the world. What can I bring to nourish the next season, the next generation? What can I do to change my world?

From here on the Suffolk Coast, I wish you harvest blessings.

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Glastonbury Pilgrimage 2023

Well, I have just returned home from another Glastonbury pilgrimage. This time I seven lady friends and I from here in Suffolk went to experience the sacred sites around Glastonbury. We had a lovely time stopping at Avebury on the way, to walk among the stones and to get a feel for this ancient site, as well as having a lunch break at the Red Lion pub. We were surprised to see that their prices are still incredibly reasonable, even after everything that has happened in the last few years. In fact, we noticed that wherever we ate, we were spending around £5 to sometimes nearly £10 less than we would in Suffolk, for some reason. Since Covid hit, every pub and restaurant in Suffolk has increased their prices dramatically.  It made eating out on our roadtrip/pilgrimage even that much more enjoyable.

When we arrived in Glastonbury, a few of us immediately climbed the Tor. It was quite still, with very little breeze, which is rare on the Tor! Standing up there on top of than ancient hill felt like being on top of the world, as it always does. A few people were quietly sitting and watching the sunset, or meditating, and it was incredibly peaceful up there. The mists were beginning to gather in the Somerset levels below, and the setting sun peeped out through the clouds just before disappearing below the horizon.

The next day we began our visit to the sacred places all together. We began with the Red Spring (Chalice Well). It is a beautiful sanctuary of peace and love, with the waters of the Red Spring flowing through various gardens and areas before culminating in a gorgeous vesical pisces pool at the bottom. I always begin at the bottom, crossing the little stream and stepping through into the Otherworld before I continue my journey up through the gardens, and all the ladies did it with me together. It was wonderful.

We meditated at the pool and gazed at the flow forms, before heading up to the yew trees and walking through their gateway. We then passed beneath the archway with the wrought iron, archangel Michael’s sword over our heads, which we saw as the sword of sovereignty, rather than the archangel’s fiery blade. Once in Arthur’s Court, we took off our shoes and walked through the paddling pool, bathing our feet and beginning our spiritual pilgrimage in earnest. Afterwards we sat beneath the yews and just soaked in the atmosphere of that very healing spot in the Chalice Well gardens.

Next we moved up to the Lion’s Head, a tap where you can collect water from the Red Spring within the sanctuary of the gardens. After having bathed your feet, now you can take in the healing waters into your body and soul, having been purified and readied for the experience. We filled our bottles and, for many of the women, tasted the iron-rich water for the very first time. I love the taste, but it’s not for everyone!

From there we moved up to the holiest of holies, the wellhead. Here in this silent sanctuary we meditated on the waters with other pilgrims who gathered round in quiet companionship. Well, we tried to anyway. The pot smoke and noise across the street at the White Spring was growing, until someone blew a horn and the White Spring opened in earnest. Sigh. More on that later.

We ate a picnic lunch on the slopes of Chalice Hill, just beneath the apple orchards. The sun was shining, and it was an absolutely gorgeous day. We then headed down to the gift shop to pick up a few things, and then made our way to the Tor once again.

The climb up the Tor this time was different, with more people and the wind whipping around us. Thankfully the wind was at our backs, which felt like it was giving us a helping hand on the climb to the summit. Once there we came across a large group of people occupying the sheltered, sunny side of the tower, singing and chanting, and so we moved into the tower itself. It is a relic of the old monastery complex that used to be situated on the Tor, and is the second tower to be built there, the first having fallen after an earthquake.

We stood in the tower, looking out the doors and through the roofless structure to watch the few clouds scudding quickly across the azure blue sky. We spoke of the legends that surrounded this magical hill, and of who was said to dwell within it. We then sat in silence, taking it all in, when a lady and a man came in. She stood in the doorway and laughed, while he stood in the centre of the tower (and us) and began gyrating and shaking as if he was being electrocuted, followed by noises as if he was sexually climaxing. I rolled my eyes and left, resisting the temptation to give in to violence, and was followed by the rest of my ladies, bar one. She remained, giving him the stink eye while he continued, not allowing him to vibe her out of that space. Rock on, grrlfriend.

I then spent some time sitting on the hilltop facing west, and meditated, connecting to the energy of the Tor and the surrounding landscape, the elements and the myths and legends that abound in this magical place. I was interrupted five minutes later by some young teenagers nearby who, after smoking a joint, proceeded to record themselves making what they thought were sexual noises. Sigh again.

Eventually we headed back down the Tor and went to see if the White Spring was still open. It was, and so after a health and safety briefing we all went into the dim chamber of the Victorian wellhouse. Before this structure was built, the White Spring flowed from a fissure in the rock, coating all the plant life around it with a calcified deposit, created faery forms and shapes all around it. When cholera hit the town the decision makers decided to use the water from this spring, ignoring the calcium deposits evident all around. In a short time the pipes that connected the spring to the town were filled with calcium, and water had to be found elsewhere. It is so infuriating to think that with just a little common sense, a beautiful and sacred landmark could have been preserved.

All that being said, the wellhouse has now been transformed into a water temple. Ten years ago it was a fairly quiet place to come, reflect on the mirror pool in the centre and listen to the sound of water running all around you, down the floor and through little rivulets. In the last seven or so years however, you are lucky if you can hear the water at all, with all the other noise that visitors to the spring make in that echoing, high-ceiling chamber. Such was the case with our visit this time, as it was the last two times I have visited. There just seemed to be no regard for others visiting the site; it was all about doing your own thing and to hell with everyone around you.

The water in the big, round mirror pool was filthy. I’m not sure if it has been cleaned in recent years, but it sure didn’t look like it. It had a brown cast to it, with an oily film on the top from people jumping into it and putting all sorts of chemicals from their bodies into the water. The dipping pool is off to the left-hand side of the chamber, but people ignore it and go into the main pool anyway, regardless of whether people are trying to scry, meditate, pray or do anything near it. At any rate, I was deeply saddened to see the state of the water in the main pool. I myself have been in the water, many, many years ago now when the dipping pool didn’t exist, and the main pool was the only way to get in the water. I had booked the space for a private ritual, an hour of quiet reflecting and soft chanting, prayers and verbal offerings of thanks to the water before the doors opened to the public. We had showered before coming, and gave the space the reverence it deserved. It was a beautiful time, when everything was kept clean and the waters ran clear. It is a completely different experience now.

We had a look at the dipping pool, which was crowded all along one side by four naked men watching a naked woman bend over in front of them to get her clothes so that she could dress after going in the waters. We walked between them, appearing to be tourists having a look around as we tried to give the woman some space from these blokes. They just hung around and watched anyway.

A couple of us then moved to the Brighid shrine, and spent a few of minutes there before a large group of people took up the whole space, and we moved on again, to the shrine of Gwyn ap Nudd. The drumming had already started again, by a chap who moved from section to section providing the visitors with what he probably thought was a bitchin’, trippy experience. All he did was give me a headache from his loud, continuous hard drumming which reverberated off the stone walls and from which there was no escape. Singing began loudly from the group in Brighid’s shrine, competing with the drumming. I could take no more and had to leave. I sorely miss the simple sound of the water, and the sanctity that once occupied this space.

We left the White Spring annoyed, and all the ladies commented to me that they felt the space had been taken over by men and unthinking, male energies. I had to agree. The White Spring has definitely changed in these last 7 – 8 years, and not for the better. I feel a deep grief for the beautiful, quiet, sacred space that it used to be, and which is now a free-for-all with people climbing everywhere, doing anything they like without any regard for anyone else.

The day was getting on, and so we decided to head back to our apartments and take some time to ourselves before supper. We ate at the Who’d A Thought It inn near the market cross, and the food was pretty good apart from one meal which had to be sent back, as it was not what it purported to be. Tired from the day, we had an early night.

The next day the rain came. When it rains in Somerset, it doesn’t kid around. It rained all day, a soaking rain that is what makes this landscape so lush and green compared to the arid climate of our home county of Suffolk. But it was actually nice to be in the rain, as we have had so little in the last three years that we’ve nearly forgotten what it feels like! We spent the day shopping, and there are so many lovely shops to visit on the high street, down the alleyways and arcades. One shop that I feel I MUST mention, and which I hadn’t been in as it wasn’t there since my last visit, was Sons of Asgard. This is a witchcraft supply shop, and an amazing one at that. Well lit, with tons of homemade kits for everything you could possibly want, even a magical housecleaning kit with everything you might need to magical cleanse the home, all components made by the staff themselves! The room sprays and aura sprays I delighted in, as with my asthma I can’t burn incense indoors. These homemade sprays were divine, with essential oils, flower essences, crystal infusions and more. The choice! There were also witch ball kits, spell kits of all different kinds, and a good old-fashioned herbal apothecary corner where you could order quantities of however much you fancy, much like StarChild just a couple of doors down. I really, really loved this shop, and highly recommend it for your witchy needs.

We then had lunch at the Blue Note Café, which is still awesome. The food is just so good there. I had a wrap with a bunch of salads – you can get five little salads on the plate or chips instead, but I always go for the salads as they are delicious: potato, cous cous, coleslaw, bean and greek salad complimented my wrap. And all at pre-Covid prices too!

We visisted the Goddess Temple next, which opens from 12 noon to 4pm. I love the Goddess Temple. It’s just a room in the top of a building in a courtyard, but it’s so filled with love and energy and devotion that it has taken up a spirit of its own. You truly feel like you are entering sacred space because, well, you are! In their own Wheel of the Year, they are in the element of water for the summer months, and so the temple was decorated accordingly, with super soft music to reflect that energy. Both times I visited they were playing Jennifer Berezan’s “Returing” song, which is one of my favourites for meditating on the divine feminine, and which is also a firm favourite with the temple. I spent a large chunk of time alone within the circle of nine morgens, feeling their energy and blessings whirl around me in a clockwise circle as The Lady of Avalon gazed down at me from the large painting on the altar. Pure heaven.

We then did some more shopping before our feet and legs gave out, and we retreated back to our housing for a cuppa and some R&R before supper. We ate that night at Gigi’s, an Italian restaurant again near the market cross, and it was superb. I highly recommend their pizzas, and the risotto had rave reviews from the ladies too.

Another early night, followed by an early start awaited us. We filled up bottles of water at the taps outside the Red and White Springs before beginning our long journey across the widest expanse of England, back to Suffolk and our homes on the east coast. From east to west and back again we made our pilgrimage over four days, and we came away with some special memories. Glastonbury, thank you for your beautiful, sacred places, and I hope that they all maintain or redeem their respected status, now and forever more.

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New Video!

Well, I decided to get the drone out, regardless of the weather and the wind. I went into the forest, where there was some shelter, and thought I’d put into images what I wrote in my last blog post. So, enjoy!

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The Deer’s Secret

The fallow deer stags have shed their antlers on the heath and in the forest in the last few weeks. As I found one atop a small rise next to ancient Celtic tumuli (burial mounds), dropped on the grassy tuft of a half sunken oak stump, I was gifted with this beautiful reminder that we all need to let go of certain things in our life.

It can be hard to let go. Whether it is past experiences, trauma, emotions or loved ones, eventually we will have to let go at some point. If we don’t, we will hinder ourselves as we travel through life on our own personal journeys. Just as a deer must shed his antlers in order to grow new ones, so must we shed that which no longer serves us in our lives. If the deer doesn’t shed his antlers properly, fully and completely, complications arise when the new ones begin to form. When the time is right, the stag knows when to let go. Sometimes it is with a simple, gentle shake; other times the antlers need to be knocked off purposefully on low trees branches or stumps. Either way, the setting is created for new growth.

The stag’s antlers grow throughout the summer, enabling him to display them proudly come the autumn rut. When growing, the antlers are covered in a beautiful, soft velvet to protect them and allow for room to grow into the shapes destined for that year. When the antlers are full grown the velvet begins to fall off, and the deer helps this process by rubbing it on trees to shed the last of the strips and allow the antlers to fully dry out and harden in the early autumn sunshine. The older the deer, the more points on the antler appear. There are some majestic old King Stags on the heath, whose great strong necks hold up a crown that is almost impossible to imagine. These antlers will help fight off any challengers to the does that have chosen to be with a certain stag, and are both an aggressive and defensive means, one tool of many for the continuation of the herd. When the antlers are no longer needed they are shed, demonstrating the cycle of life, death and rebirth, and the need to let go of that which no longer serves.

Though many in the Pagan community use the festival of Samhain to reflect on what no longer serves them in their lives, for me here living with the local deer community it is the month of May where I find this inspiration. Closely observing the deer, hauling buckets of water out onto the heath for them in the last two years as we have had so little rainfall, leaving offerings of seeds and song, I have established a relationship with them that is so beautiful and inspiring. They know me now, and I have watched as young prickets have matured into stags, and lead does hand over the power to a younger female as their reign over the herd comes to a natural close. I have spent an amazing three years with a white doe, always catching her watching me as I roam the heathland and knowing that she carries messages from the Otherworld in her spiritual capacity. Though she is now gone from us, her spirit lives on in the dappled light of the beech wood and the gentle breeze that blows the heather bells, ringing the faery bells in both this world and the Otherworld.

If we are unable to let go, we cannot move forward with health, vitality and authenticity. We will hinder our progress, sabotage our current situation and be mere shadows of who we could be. The deer remind us that letting go is not a one-time affair, but a process that happens again and again as we work our way through the spirals of life. Every year they must shed their antlers, this cyclic dance of the Antlered God reminding us of the process, and how to move through it.

Some of what holds us back are shadow aspects that no longer serve us in the present moment. While they may have been necessary coping mechanisms in their time, in this present moment they only stop us from being our true, authentic selves. We may have been hurt in the past, but that hurt lies in the past, and carrying it always into the present moment is a burdensome thing to bear. Instead, letting go again and again is the way to move forward, to develop the skills necessary to cope with what life is doing at this very moment in time. We must learn to shed that which no longer serves, and grow into our antlers of sovereignty. And when the time comes, we shed those antlers too.

From “Stories of the Knights of the Round Table” by Henry Gilbert, first edition, 1911.

The sword Excalibur that was given to King Arthur needed to be returned to the Lady of Lake upon Arthur’s death. We return that which no longer serves to the earth, to the waters of the subconscious, to the Otherworld and the Goddess in order for it to be transformed and wrought anew when the time is come. This cyclic myth may have been created through observation of the natural world, and the cycles of the flora and fauna that inspire Pagan mythology. We wield our swords of sovereignty, and then return the power to the land when the time is right, ready to forge anew what it is that we need in the next cycle, like a stag shedding his antlers and then growing anew.

As I look out over my laptop and out into the verdant green of the garden, the beech, ash and birch trees swaying in the light breeze, I am filled with the beauty and mystery of this earthly life and its cycles. We have come out of a long, difficult winter and now the summer is in full swing. The world has turned soft and lush, the bare branches of the trees now heavy and singing in full voice of the songs of summer. The blackbirds join in the song all day long, and the house martins beep beep overhead as they dive and glide to feed their young. That all important Mystery that lies at the heart of Pagan traditions is so abundant all around me, and I am so grateful for this journey. I know what it is that needs letting go, and I do it each and every day, until I find that I am no longer carrying it but have instead stored it away neatly on the shelves of life experience. I walk forward free, able to grow and be in my full, sovereign self.

Thanks to the Deer’s Secret.